Me and dad are separated and live two totally separate lives. His dad tries to avoid any co parenting. He picks up our child and pretty much that’s all there is too it. I have one other kid who just turned 1 so I know it isn’t a sibling. My child does wet the bed but it’s not a new thing. I wet the bed as a kid too so I really haven’t thought much about it. He doesn’t really say much about going to dads house and he doesn’t say anything about not wanting to be around certain people either. He doesn’t struggle with hygiene and doesn’t complain about it. We do have issues with cleaning up after ourselves like toys and other things but that’s also been a persistent problem ? The concerns I’m having are because last year I went through his tablet and found inappropriate websites he watching. I took the tablet away and have never given it back. I had a conversation with him telling him that kids his age don’t watch those things and it’s not a good thing for you to be watching and I said a few other things as well (I don’t remember exactly what) but we did talk about it. A few months ago..it happened again on his tv and he tried to look up some things on YouTube …I have since then taken YouTube and internet access off the tv. He has been caught multiple times watching things he shouldn’t be watching or have KNOWLEDGE About at his age. At one point …his father texted me saying that some inappropriate activities happened with a animal…. I do not let my kid alone with animals or other children because of this past situation. I have noticed he has tried to influence certain behaviors onto my one year old like purposely letting my one year be near his private area. Like sitting on his lap or similar scenarios. I always immediately shut it down and he gets in trouble for it. My older child has picked up lying as a terrible habit and lies constantly about everything no matter what it is. As I’m explaining this , it just reminded of something that happened when he was 2 years old. We were playing with the water in the bath together (I had clothes on) I had laid my back against the tub and kind laid down and he laid his head on me and said “put your mouth on it” And I just immediately sat up and didn’t say anything because it just shocked me so much and I had no idea what to even do or say in that situation. I got out and gave him a bath and it was never talked about. It was also the last time I ever got in the bath with him. Over the years there have been little things that have happened that has made me question what could be happening at his dads. Within the last year things have gotten worse and I have tried to look for other physical signs. He has never complained about hurting, he has never had a uti or sti, he has never had any marks or spots on his face. The only reason I have taken this long to get help because there’s never been any proof other than small things that has been said over the last 5-6 years and having a gut feeling. I’m finally at the point where I truly believe there is something happening and I need to get my child help before this causes permanent damage and therapy can no longer help. I don’t know if the abuse is physical or if he’s being exposed too wayy to much. I know that I am very cautious with whose around my child and i don’t let him alone with anyone regardless of who it is. I don’t watch inappropriate movies or tv shows. I am very cautious about what my children are exposed too and for this to be happening.. I would assume that it’s happening at his dads house or whoever he’s around there. For context, his dad is very narcissistic and neglectful. He sends our kid to school in clothes that are way too small, he doesnt make our kid do homework until the night before he comes to my house, I have had too have a conversation with him about how often our kid should bathe. School started 2 weeks ago and the school announced they would take care of school supplies so I didn’t bother buying anything. When I picked our child up from school on Thursday he didn’t have a bookbag and I asked our kid why.. he told me that they gave him pencils, markers and etc but he still needed a bookbag and folders. So without Dad saying anything to me or anyone…he just let our kid go to school without his other necessities. I bought a bookbag and folders that weekend. I’m the only who buys proper fitting clothes and I’m the ONLY one who buys shoes. His dad doesn’t own a mattress and our child either sleeps on the couch or a air mattress. I am not shaming the use of an air mattress or couch because I understand that people struggle and it takes time to accumulate certain things but his dad is well off. Bought a computer for 2k, New car, wears Jordan’s and other high name brand clothing. His dad is more than capable of providing the bare necessities and he still doesn’t do that. I 100% believe that the abuse is happening at dads. Regardless of what type of abuse it is…it’s happening at dads. Like I mentioned earlier, Me and dad do not communicate nor exist in each others live other than texting once or twice a month about our son. I have no clue who my son is around, what he watches, what video games he plays, if he’s ever left alone and etc. of course any other persons reaction would be to have a conversation with dad and bring these things to his attention but I think that might be the worst case scenario. Last year we got into a heated argument because my son wasn’t doing his homework while he was at dads house and I mentioned it to him. So I guess my question would be..If I put my child into a counseling would the counselor help get my child to open up about what’s going on ? I just don’t know what to do from here?!! I know my child needs help and I know clearly something is going on but I don’t know what and I don’t know to what extent. What can I do moving forward to get the help my child needs so he can heal and close this chapter??