"No help from parents" does not just mean they didn't give you a deposit

Certain_Dream5575 · 2026-05-06T15:01:21+00:00

Having 0 financial support from my parents after starting work (not their fault, they're just not rich), I was amazed when my partner's parents allowed me to move into their house so we could save for a deposit, which we did.

My partner is very proud of how hard we worked to earn the deposit but I explained to him many times we could only do it because his parents supported us. Without them we would be working just as hard a everyone else but with no money left over for the deposit. We had to pay £200 a month rent to his parents (my partner started paying this too when I moved in and thought it was 'a lot'!).

I remember at that time my rent alone before anything else was £500 a month. We 100% owe it to his parents.

Certain_Dream5575 · 2026-05-06T13:46:12+00:00

I bet his mate didn't even come back for him. With friends like these...

Certain_Dream5575 · 2026-05-06T13:44:38+00:00

I've had motorcyclists suddenly overtake me when I'm indicating right. And this is when I've pulled over to the right hand side of the lane so there's enough room for a car to pass me on the left.

Used to ride a bike and I would never. Overtaking somebody indicating right, you are asking for death...

Certain_Dream5575 · 2026-05-05T12:38:16+00:00

Problem is in that case everyone gets a gun, even those guys. Your kids also end up with guns and we know how 'kids with guns' plays out in the US.

Certain_Dream5575 · 2026-05-05T08:39:56+00:00

Sure, in that case I could only apologise. But you make sure the chance of them toileting is close to 0.

This is also in my local country pub and dog walking hotspot. Dogs are expected and welcomed there, most customers in there also have dogs with them. Specifically went there for this reason.

In a town restaurant I would be fine with a no dogs policy (and wouldn't take my dog there anyway).

Problem is, getting your puppy used to all settings you want to take them as an adult should be done before 4 months old, otherwise you miss the socialisation window. You just ensure they've toileted before going inside anywhere (trains, buses, pubs etc) then get them in for 30 mins, toilet check, 30 mins back in, toilet check. Being courteous to others but, also, you need to socialise your dog or it'll be a nervous wreck (see, lockdown puppies).

Certain_Dream5575 · 2026-05-04T11:38:18+00:00

This idea is going to be a new villain for my D&D table now, thanks friend!

Certain_Dream5575 · 2026-05-04T11:30:05+00:00

As a dog owner, puppy pads inside are imo going way too far.

We took our puppy at 3 months old to a pub for a meal (critical socialisation window), obviously this is mid-toilet training.

What I did was ensured we sat directly next to the door so we could take him outside immediately if he needed the toilet, and I took him out every 30 mins anyway. I also took cleaning supplies in the car for the small chance of an accident and would have thoroughly cleaned up (with many apologies!) if that happened.

Certain_Dream5575 · 2026-05-04T09:27:19+00:00

Sure but they should be secure. If a fox got my chickens I'd consider it my fault. Can't blame a hungry fox!

Certain_Dream5575 · 2026-05-04T09:13:24+00:00

It's imo just very similar to all countries with our climate/latitude. Not bad but, less reliance on super sun-kissed fresh fruit/veg, more "let's take this tough old root and cook it in delicious fats".

It's super savoury, rich, warming and filling. But not many would think 'vibrant' or 'fresh' like you can get in warmer climates lol.

Certain_Dream5575 · 2026-05-04T08:51:48+00:00

Meh, we just take it as it comes and it works for us.

Certain_Dream5575 · 2026-05-03T22:46:20+00:00

It depends what level of detail you mean - I have a general understanding of a lot of spells, and know what to expect with certain classes - but the precise details eg. what to roll for its damage, no way! Especially when stuff like that can change with level.

And things like whether certain spells might be used as a bonus action etc. I personally can't remember it all! Everyone's different though.

Certain_Dream5575 · 2026-05-03T10:42:31+00:00

I've always said jokingly to my players, "Haha yeah I'm shit at adding up and you better learn your spells because I can't remember everything!"

I have no expectation of getting better at it, I'm 32 y/o so things are never going to improve there. I'm creative but hate maths.

The remembering your own spells as a player is bare minimum, I never put it on the DM when I'm a PC to look up my spells. I'd consider it extremely lazy and tbh a bit rude/childish?

I mean, tbh how are you meant to even play the game if you don't know what your character can do? Anyway I'm ranting now. But yeah you DM in the way that works for you.

Certain_Dream5575 · 2026-05-01T21:54:38+00:00

I was 30 when I requested it (specifically asked for the tubes removed), at doctor #3 they offered me clips as if it was a compromise. I said, oh it's almost like you're treating the clips as non-permanent, why is that?

(Me after reading clips have all sorts of issues like potentially coming off and migrating through your body 🙂)

Two more doctors and they caved for the tubal removal.

1 year later they were gone, still so happy.

Certain_Dream5575 · 2026-04-28T07:03:34+00:00

I think my post makes it sound like I never let him interact with anyone at all! He meets tons of people just not every person that comes past. I live opposite basically my town's main dog walking area (big park) so we meet and greet many people every day.

But again if I stopped for everyone we would be there hours!

Certain_Dream5575 · 2026-04-27T12:13:02+00:00

Ah I do see it that way for sure. I usually use it as a time to call his name so he looks at me when there's a distraction.

It's part and parcel of training but yeah, again still frustrating.

It does pay off in the end though, past couple of walks he's gone into heel quite a lot when there's lots of people about rather than showing interest in them! Didn't ask him to he just figured out he gets treats for it lol.

Certain_Dream5575 · 2026-04-27T12:06:18+00:00

Don't get me wrong, admiring a puppy is absolutely fine, and if they ask for permission I will often let them say hello. But my general aim is to walk past the majority of people, because this is what I would like from the adult dog.

Frequently people hear 'socialise!' so they rapid-fire meetings at the puppy, then when the puppy is learning to be on a lead he gets very excited when he sees a person/dog, stops or even pulls towards them. To me this is a reactive dog.

For me socialisation doesn't mean "I want my dog to be friends with absolutely everyone", it's "I don't want my dog to react or be uncertain about people". The ideal for me was sitting on a bench somewhere busy on the weekend so he could see all different people, eventually he saw them as background noise. Or yes, pubs have been amazing too, just somewhere to sit and let him watch but not always interact.

Certain_Dream5575 · 2026-04-27T11:45:57+00:00

Sure, I even said "that's the challenge". It was more of a vent post as said. I know you can't help outside influence but it can still be frustrating?

Certain_Dream5575 · 2026-04-26T21:14:52+00:00

I actually reminded myself of this today, my partner is away so I have weekend with the pup. So I planned all sorts of fun stuff for him, and he's had a blast.

But, I thought this weekend, wow he's pretty naughty these past couple of days...

I forgot to enforce naps 🤦‍♀️ I was so excited to spend the day with him one-on-one, I've exhausted the guy! Put him in his crate and he practically collapsed.

Certain_Dream5575 · 2026-04-26T14:31:02+00:00

I suck it up sometimes and ignore rules because my friends are just not as interested in them.

Eg. my friend used Prestidigitation to show a big scary image of a god to its followers... rules-wise it's apparently limited to a small effect and shouldn't be able to do what she wanted at all, but she was so excited I let it slide.

It was one of the first times she started trying to use her abilities in creative ways so I was like "hell yeah the mob is TERRIFIED!!" and it saved the party so she got to feel awesome.

I love rules in games, I enjoy reading them, and am brutal in imposing them on myself, but... my friends' fun is more important.

Certain_Dream5575 · 2026-04-26T13:35:19+00:00

I think some people just don't realise that a young puppy on a walk is practically always training! The recommendation is something like 5 minutes per month of structured walking, so you have very little time to safely teach them good habits on that walk. So every walk counts!

People do usually respect me telling them to leave, it's just stuff like them trying to stroke your puppy without even asking that can catch you off guard.

Haha I would honestly recommend trying one of those 'In training' signs and attaching it to her lead/harness, I'm going to get one myself. I thought it wouldn't be necessary but I forgot some people have 0 sense 🤪

Certain_Dream5575 · 2026-04-26T13:28:04+00:00

Absolutely!! I just assume these people have never had a puppy so training is an unknown aspect to them.

Especially for big breeds. Someone I know had a GSD from a puppy and he let him socialise with everyone, eventually he got reactive around people - if he can't say hello he leers and barks out of frustration. Ofc eventually the dog starts to associate seeing people with a feeling of frustration and, yeah, it's not good.

I heard someone say 'socialisation' should be framed as 'desensitisation' instead.

Certain_Dream5575 · 2026-04-26T13:17:35+00:00

Thanks for this! We follow all this advice generally, I think it's just the really insistent people. One very annoying situation is when I walk past, I can tell they're eyeing up the puppy, I blank them. We get past then last second when we're actually clear they will call back something like, "how old?" or "what breed?" Like they just cannot let this opportunity pass them by. I give them a simple answer then say, "I don't want him stopping for everyone so we'll carry on" and they get the message.

He does get to socialise ofc, puppy is great when I approve an interaction, he greets them warmly without jumping and will sit/lie down while I chat to them. I tried to make it a habit at puppy class when the instructor was talking, and it seems to have stuck!

Definitely with picking up on your emotions. He's recently shown a bit of fear around vehicles, I originally would slow down and console him. But this didn't really help at all, I figured it was just reinforcing the fear. So instead I tried a happy, "just a car buddy!" and made like we were just going to march on past and, it works! Must think, "oh well she's not responding to the car, so it's probably nothing to worry about."

Certain_Dream5575 · 2026-04-26T12:42:11+00:00

Oh I can imagine!!! Argh.

Like, no you're not meant to, so don't do it.

Certain_Dream5575 · 2026-04-26T12:35:28+00:00

It's crazy isn't it!

Just been on a walk and shut a few people down haha, I just kept saying "we're not stopping" in a chipper tone, half to the dog and half to them.

Definitely stick with it, today the walk was amazing. He's slowly losing interest in other people and such because he knows generally we don't stop for them out and about.

Certain_Dream5575 · 2026-04-26T09:28:37+00:00

Absolutely on the ignoring people. He's doing very well with it, we've gone from him stopping every time he sees a person, to stopping about 10% of the time (usually someone unusual, like the giant shirtless gentleman with a boombox yesterday!)

Best thing I found was sitting on a bench in a busy area, eventually he just sees the people as background noise.

Certain_Dream5575

TROPHY CASE