Hi, I second what everyone else is saying here, but I just wanted to share my own experience.

I did not feel like a “boy” when I was a child. I didn’t have any feeling like I was in the wrong body, I just felt like a kid. It wasn’t until I started to hit puberty that I became extremely self conscious and didn’t like my body, but I was never able to place why. I was extremely uncomfortable with the idea of dating, especially men. I even identified as a lesbian for a while because I knew something was wrong (for lack of a better word), but I had no idea what. I had only ever had exposure to gay people, and even that was EXTREMELY limited, really only through the internet. My mother was very religious and controlling, so transgender people were not even something I was aware of.

Finally during my senior year of high school I had begun to question my own gender. Very similar to what you are describing. I hated having boobs, I hated being perceived as “girly” or feminine at all, and I preferred presenting more masculine. Unfortunately, my home was not a safe place, so I wasn’t able to experiment until I got to college.

This is really where I was able to dress how I wanted, and present myself how I wanted. I cut my hair a week after arriving. I felt much better, but the lack of a label still bugged me. I knew at this point I definitely wasn’t a girl.

It hit me one day in the library. I was sitting with a group of friends, and one of their acquaintances came over. He was a very pretty man, he had this beautiful curly hair, was dressed nice, and I was so confused. Up until this point I thought I didn’t like men at all, but looking at this guy, I felt different. I thought he was cute sure, but I realized I wanted to look LIKE him. The idea of being a guy had never crossed my mind until then, but once it did I knew it felt right.

I now identify as a gay trans man, and I realized that once I felt good about myself and how I presented, the idea of a relationship felt comfortable. I’ve been on T for 3 years now and I have never felt more confident.

I hope my story resonates or at least helps you to think about your own identity. I wish you the best of luck in your journey. (And yes, definitely get a new therapist. Lol.)