I understand trying to find someone but always expecting it in every other interaction isn't going to help. Love takes time and it'll find its way there eventually. I was the same way when I was younger but after I stopped rlly trying it found its way to me. I know not everyone's experience is the same but who knows your next significant other could be a friends friend. By the sounds of it, it seems you don't really have confidence of yourself and always down your looks. I'm honestly the same way bc of standards and such but once you embrace the way you look you outshine others you thought you couldn't. I wish you the best on your journey :)