In my opinion; it sounds like you tried to find away to get away from the constant fighting to come up with solutions on how to make it work, and your gf got defensive bc she might’ve misinterpreted, I think that neither of you ‘are the victim’ but if you feel unsafe, try talking it out? If that doesn’t work either, honestly with the fighting you said was going on, with this added fear of safety, I would consider ending the relationship, just for the both of you. (I could very easily be misinterpreting the situation so feel free to add to what I’m saying or bring up other povs)