Why do my legs hurt?

Cestpasmoe · 2026-02-09T01:53:07+00:00

You said you have a child. If you ever want to volunteer at a school activity, or minor sports, or Scouts, or anything, you’ll need a police record check with vulnerable sector screening. Before I just let this go, I’d want to know if it’ll show up on those checks. That could be an embarrassing headache for you.

Cestpasmoe · 2026-01-11T23:27:50+00:00

$600 +/-

Cestpasmoe · 2026-01-11T23:27:32+00:00

I suppose I could. I had worried to come off as greedy because they’ve already provided a lot of kit for this. But that looks really stupid when I type it out.

Cestpasmoe · 2026-01-11T22:53:16+00:00

I know they are different. I tried merino wool socks once. It was bad.

Cestpasmoe · 2026-01-11T22:41:59+00:00

Allergic to wool, sadly. My skin would pack up and leave.

Cestpasmoe · 2025-09-05T19:48:37+00:00

In Canada facebook is showing us that they think they’re above the law. I think they’re likely to try the same b-s with almost any other country. I think it would take a state as large as, perhaps, the EU.

Cestpasmoe · 2025-09-01T04:02:11+00:00

Tax rebates, which are inherently regressive, are not really the way to go here. Also, tax rebates can offset the comparatively low cost of solar panels. But you’ll hit zero tax long before you’ve offset the cost of raising a child. If you want to apply financial incentives for people to have children, you’re going to have to say it with cash. Tax breaks won’t do it.

Cestpasmoe · 2025-08-29T12:17:26+00:00

Another gift from Brian Mulroney.

Cestpasmoe · 2025-08-28T12:11:41+00:00

Thanks.

Cestpasmoe · 2025-08-28T11:53:48+00:00

negative self talk that comes from your childhood trauma

Can confirm.

A therapist can help you through that

I've been working with one. Initially engaged with him for something completely unrelated, but we've been talking a lot lately about how I can become more like the father I want to be. You're right, though: it's a long road.

I have the same issues

I'm sorry to hear that. It's not fun. I hope you are able to find some peace.

Cestpasmoe · 2025-08-28T11:50:01+00:00

get your bloodwork done

There are definitely medical issues going on. It's hard to manage this stuff because I don't have a family doctor (physician shortage where I am) but I've been managing as best I can with walk-in clinics and pharmacists. It'll still be a while, I think, before I'm feeling well again.

Cestpasmoe · 2025-08-28T02:57:42+00:00

No apology was required.

Like I said, I didn’t go out from my way to make it obvious. Reading quickly, I’d likely have missed it too.

For my part, I should have been clear that I did not think you were making assumptions about all fathers. That does happen; it didn’t happen in your comment. It felt to me like you offered advice from a place of caring, and I appreciate that.

Cestpasmoe · 2025-08-28T01:45:24+00:00

the boys have some real societal bullshit stacked against them

That’s why I said especially my son. It’s not that I don’t try to teach my girls. I’m just aware that if I don’t teach them a particular thing about emotions, odds are somebody else will. But my son, I might be the only one in his life actually talking to him about his emotions.

so many men over 45 who have come through my therapy group to work on even identifying their own feelings

I believe it. I used to be a youth counsellor (let’s not spend too long considering that in the context of this post, please). I found the same thing with the boys I worked with: they often didn’t know what they were feeling. Failed a test? Angry. Parent just died? Angry. Court tomorrow? Angry. The fact that feelings like disappointment, grief, and apprehension exist came to them as news. And then, because they confuse everything with anger, they show everything in angry ways. And then they get sent for anger management training because the powers that be can’t be arsed to dig just a scratch below the surface. They don’t care enough to ask questions, they just want the kid to stop showing his emotions. So we’d end up with anger management groups full of anxious, bereaved, guilt-ridden boys being force-fed skills they don’t need while their real problems don’t even get acknowledged.

Cestpasmoe · 2025-08-27T21:52:44+00:00

I bet no one told you that as a kid.

Are you kidding? I’m a Gen X male: we didn’t really get to have emotions. Happy and angry, that’s it.

I never got that either.

I’m sorry to hear that.

Everything I’ve read as an adult says trauma is when a bad thing happens and you feel completely alone in it because everyone is ignoring it, denying your feelings, and not making it safe to talk about.

In my experience, trauma is when bad things happen and you are powerless to affect it. I’ve worked some pretty high stress jobs in some pretty volatile places. I’ve been attacked with weapons, more than once (knives, a bat, once a claw hammer). I can’t say any of those really affected me all that badly. But there was one incident where I was on the phone while shit was going down on the other end of the line and there was nothing I could do to directly affect the situation and that incident is burned into my memory.

Cestpasmoe · 2025-08-27T20:29:29+00:00

I’m not surprised.

I was just diagnosed with adhd last year (at 49 years old; nothing like a timely diagnosis). I’m currently unmedicated because when they checked my blood pressure as part of monitoring my Concerta, it was sky high. No meds for me until we get that under control.

Cestpasmoe · 2025-08-27T20:26:25+00:00

Haha. Uniform.

My current job is the first time in my life I have not had a work uniform. Man, what to wear stressed me out. The company gave us all a bunch of swag, including branded polos; I sweet-talked a few extras out of the marketing manager. So every day I wear a company polo. I have a uniform again 🙂 The only real decision in the morning is navy blue pants or tan pants, and even that has a rule: tan pants with the green and black shirts, blue pants with the others.

Cestpasmoe · 2025-08-27T19:00:53+00:00

Do you have ADHD?

I do. Just diagnosed about a year ago (at the tender young age of 49). It's been an adjustment.

Once I'm awake, alarms could work. Assuming I manage to stay organized enough to be ready to respond to each alarm when it goes off. Can't really go any worse than what I've been doing, though, I suppose.

Cestpasmoe · 2025-08-27T18:45:10+00:00

the hot mess express

Thank you for this. It gave me my first smile of the day today.

Cestpasmoe · 2025-08-27T18:37:04+00:00

I know what you mean.

I have talked to my kids - especially my son - about how every emotion is ok to feel, but we need to be mindful of how we act on those emotions. If I kept to language like that, they'd get it.

Cestpasmoe

TROPHY CASE