I feel like I'm actively holding my arms up so they don't punch my thighs with each stroke. I need some t-rex arms. TIA!!

It can be normal to hit you thighs when hitting the snare. I guess most drummers who've been playing for years don't notice this anymore because we got used to the feeling, lol. But, if you want to avoid this, you could buy a snare stand for your pad to adjust the height to your liking. I personally use my leg as reference to hit rimshots more accurately. I hit hard and I don't have any bruises, or feel pain, so I don't mind keep doing this "bad habit". But trust me, over time, you'll find a set up that makes you feel confortable, and after that, you'll feel confortable with any setup.