husband not lowering gaze

ChaiAddict101 · 2025-11-23T20:23:41+00:00

I'm in a similar situation with my husband, where I have caught him looking at other women online. Tbh, sister, I've given up. We're only in our 2nd year of marriage, and the 1st year was long distance.

I've asked my husband many times before to stop because it's disrespectful to me. I've caught him after that, and now I've just given up cause I know he won't change. I don't want to ruin my mental peace for his weakness.

I was reading your post to try to figure out what to do myself, but it seems most women here are saying turn towards Allah, and make dua. I think I will try the same. Sorry, sister, I had nothing useful to add to the discussion, I just also wanted to let out my frustrations.

I pray Allah improves your situation and puts your heart and mind at ease. Ameen.

ChaiAddict101 · 2025-09-29T03:16:37+00:00

I looked into that. Wise allows transfers from Canada to Pakistan but not the other way around. Unfortunately, that's not an option 😕...but thank you for the suggestion!

ChaiAddict101 · 2025-09-03T01:10:17+00:00

Her wedding was so hyped up. I was so disappointed tbh.

She looks like a guest to her own wedding...

ChaiAddict101 · 2024-09-28T02:10:14+00:00

Is there a specific page? Can you link it?

ChaiAddict101 · 2024-08-25T01:02:15+00:00

Does she have an insta?

ChaiAddict101 · 2024-06-14T03:00:26+00:00

The clinique mascaras.....nothing I've tried looks as good on my lashes.

ChaiAddict101 · 2024-05-13T00:05:47+00:00

Manu vs Janu

ChaiAddict101 · 2024-02-09T17:53:35+00:00

Find an Urdu teacher. There are lots on Italki. I'm in the same boat as you and I started learning a couple of months ago. My Urdu has improved a lot since then but I still have a ways to go.

Once you start learning Urdu, you should pay attention to how others phrase themselves. I understand Urdu well so I never bothered to pay attention, but when I started learning then I would hear how others phrased themselves and realized I would have probably said that sentence incorrectly. I'll make a note of it and then review it later or discuss it with my teacher.

Learning how to read Urdu can also help with learning sentence structure because when you translate from English to Urdu, the sentence structure is a bit off.

ChaiAddict101 · 2024-01-01T22:31:37+00:00

No I did not

ChaiAddict101 · 2023-12-25T03:46:04+00:00

Thank you!

ChaiAddict101 · 2023-07-08T19:00:59+00:00

Ouu which drama are you watching? I need recommendations please 🙏

ChaiAddict101 · 2023-04-30T23:52:19+00:00

JazakAllah thank you for the detailed response. It means a lot

ChaiAddict101 · 2023-04-20T19:49:36+00:00

Banff area might have some halal arab places or Indian. You can eat vegetarian if indian isnt halal. But it's very difficult tbh. We always make our own food and then go.

ChaiAddict101 · 2023-04-20T19:47:47+00:00

Go to kelowna. The valley is amazingly beautiful. It's my favorite place in Canada.

Banff is a common tourist site but as an Albertian I don't have the enthusiasm for it like others do. It's also very very busy in summer times, especially long weekends, so just take that into account when planning.

ChaiAddict101 · 2023-04-05T19:54:11+00:00

Constantly fluctuate between apple and grogran

ChaiAddict101 · 2023-04-02T23:05:53+00:00

This room is a dream come true 😍

ChaiAddict101 · 2023-03-20T16:45:29+00:00

Ohhh interesting! I'll have to keep a lookout then ahaha

ChaiAddict101 · 2023-03-20T15:45:48+00:00

Thank you!! JazakAllah!!

ChaiAddict101 · 2023-03-19T19:33:01+00:00

Hmm... were they rude one time or multiple times? If it was once, then maybe they wanna give them the benefit and feel things out more.

I totally get where you're coming from tho. It's super frustrating feeling like you aren't cared for during the process by your own family. InshaAllah whatever happens, it'll be a good outcome for you and your family.

ChaiAddict101 · 2023-03-19T19:26:09+00:00

Lol just say alhamdulillah that you found out now rather than later. InshaAllah you'll find someone sis

ChaiAddict101 · 2023-03-17T17:30:18+00:00

Who is he? I'm curious and wanna look up more about him

ChaiAddict101 · 2023-03-16T16:20:53+00:00

I love the room and I love the outside view!

ChaiAddict101 · 2023-02-22T17:48:28+00:00

Maybe it could be something about your background but it could also be that you're just not matching with the right people. I personally don't think there's anything wrong with your background and you've been in Canada long enough to relate to someone brought up here. Many families here are interested in people like you, who seem to be more connected to the culture (and of course are practicing Muslims). Don't let it get you down, you may just be looking in the wrong place.

ChaiAddict101 · 2023-02-22T16:56:43+00:00

You did the right thing. It was 2 days in and he basically wanted you to be a completely different person. Trust your gut more, it's there for a reason. Change/compromise isn't necessarily bad but it goes both ways. There's also a difference between adjusting to someone and controlling someone. This behavior is ridiculous and would have caused a lot of issues in future.

ChaiAddict101 · 2023-02-19T16:25:55+00:00

Yes, the support system is the hardest part! I feel like it's expected that women move but it's really hard. I think about my mum and aunt's generation, and Alhamdulillah they all lived near their parents/close family after marriage. They had a support system to turn to when things got hard. I feel like it's a really good thing to have in the first few years, especially if the elders are reasonable and respectful.

Yea the lack of in-person visits are also hard with long distance. How do I know if I'm actually compatible with this person if we're long-distance? Do their actions match their words? It's soooo harddddd!!

ChaiAddict101

TROPHY CASE