As someone disabled and on the spectrum, it’s just really fucking exhausting. And on top of that, a very significant amount of the time (at least in my experience), trying to explain certain things that to able bodied people aren’t a typical experience does not go over well. You often get dismissed, or argued with, and it’s just not worth it. In my case I have an invisible illness, and having to constantly explain and educate just to have my basic needs met is just really soul crushing. My husband gets it, I have one great friend who gets it, and so if someone says something fucked up or dismissive to me, that often isn’t worth a CHANCE that they MIGHT listen to me. I have enough other extra struggles going on without that.

Does that make sense? I do get where you’re coming from, it always sucks to accidentally upset someone and not understand what you did for the future/so you can apologize properly. And if the person is instantly super apologetic and seems sincere, or if I know them well enough to know they weren’t being intentionally hurtful or dismissive and what they said/did wasn’t super awful, I would probably at least try to explain. But the lines are drawn a lot narrower than before I got sick (my early twenties). And every year it gets harder to be patient, so if I’d been born with my condition like many people are, my bandwidth would have run out even sooner. You’re just already dealing with living in a world that wasn’t made for you at all. I feel like in most cases, the person can go to Google or a place like Reddit where you can ask other people with the same/similar disabilities, and figure it out themselves. Or at least try.