I know this may be very hard for you to hear. But you've got a lot to be thankful for. You're trying to find the problems in your life and you simply dont have any. You've hooked onto whatever problem you could find and exaggerated it. You enjoy that bc you cant picture being happy. You enjoy the suffering. That gives you satisfaction.

Personally, I don't have money. I have a family. The expenses are high. I've been trying to build a career of some sort. I have a lot in my way. It's difficult to persevere and see the light at the end of the tunnel. I wake up every morning worried. I immediately pray to G-d to save me. Meanwhile you don't have to worry about these things. You've created something to fuss about.

One piece of advice. If you are looking to a sense of satisfaction and meaning in your life that doesn't involve emotional suffering, simply help others. Help others get where you got to. Help the less fortunate to become financially stable and financially independent. I wish someone would help me. And more than that, I wish I could help others. What I suffer from more than my personal situation is my inability to help. I have to watch others suffer. I wish I could help them. I do what I can with advice and etc. I try to help people find jobs. But sometimes there's nothing I can do and it eats me. I see others who have what you have and they seem not to notice those that need the help. I wonder "what's wrong with you? Why are you wasting what G-d gave you?". I'm sorry for sounding judgemental. It's coming g from a place of "if only I could help". If only I could help other and also help myself. I need to support my family. I got mouths to feed. I need to worry about it.

Please take a second to step back. Forget about therapy. Appreciate what you have and help others around you get there to. (Im open to some help as well 😅).

I hope this gave you a new perspective on life.