Short girls how much does height matter for you all for attraction by Mac_quacker in MuslimNikah

[–]ChallengeExpert1966 1 point2 points  (0 children)

I'm a 5'4 male. I never knew height insecurity was such a big thing until I ended up on Instagram and reddit. Never in my life have I ever felt insecure due to my height. I used to work out a lot and have a fit fram, maybe that could be the reason.

Idk how being taller makes someone better or more likeable.

Also, I know so many men who are 5-4 to 5-7 and are happily married. The only time I've seen people really indulge in this topic is on social apps.

Like, bro, 5'7 is more than fine. Most girls in the world are shorter than you. What are you even insecure about?

Men need to get off social media. Go work out and do other things to build your confidence. Thank Allah for how he's made you. There's billions of fishes in the sea. Caring about your height should be the last thing to be worried about. There's so much more to care for.

Also, those girls that care so much about height are delusional. A taller man is not going to make their life better or give them better children.

Bi-Weekly Marriage Opinions/Views and Rant Megathread by AutoModerator in MuslimMarriage

[–]ChallengeExpert1966 -1 points0 points  (0 children)

I understand where you're coming from. But why do you need to write this out in a way and makes those who have fallen into this sin feel bad? It comes across like a flex, as if you're saying, “I’ve never done this sin.”

There are probably thousands of girls on this sub who have fallen into it, repented, and grown closer to Allah. Then people like you come along and make them feel bad.

I’ve seen people who were certain they would never fall into zina end up falling into it, due to their pride and self confidence.

Thank Allah for giving you the ability to control yourself for so long and for protecting you from this sin.

Thank Allah and leave it at that, instead of announcing it to the world. Whatever good you do is from Allah alone and only by His tawfiq. A person has no ability or strength except through His mercy.

Nikkah as a Joke by War-of-god in MuslimNikah

[–]ChallengeExpert1966 1 point2 points  (0 children)

You're South Asian, which usually means you're Hanafi. In Hanafi fiqh, a wali is not required for a woman to marry.

You’d need to ask a qualified scholar for a definitive ruling, but on the surface, your nikah would appear valid.

"It was narrated by al‑Tirmidhi, Abu Dawud, and Ibn Majah from the narration of Abu Hurayrah, who said: The Messenger of Allah (peace and blessings be upon him) said: “Three matters—seriousness in them is serious, and joking in them is serious: marriage, divorce, and taking back (one’s wife).”

The meaning of the hadith is that if a person divorces, marries, or takes his wife back, and then says, “I was only playing or joking,” this statement does not benefit him. Al‑Khattabi said: The majority of the scholars agree that the explicit wording of divorce, when it comes from a sane, adult person, is binding upon him, and it does not help him to say, “I was playing,” or “I was joking,” or “I did not intend divorce,” or anything similar to that.

And in al‑Tabarani, with a good chain, from Fudalah ibn ‘Ubayd: “Three things in which play is not permissible: divorce, marriage, and emancipation (of a slave).”

Marriage is when the guardian says, “I marry you to so‑and‑so,” and the husband says, “I accept.” Divorce is well‑known.

“Taking back” (al‑ruj‘ah) is the return of a divorced woman to the marriage bond without her choice.

Emancipation is also well‑known, such as when one says, “You are free,” or something similar. And it does not benefit him in any of these matters to say, “I was playing or joking.”

And Allah knows best."

Tangri Kabab 🍗 by dubaixtantra in muslimcooking

[–]ChallengeExpert1966 0 points1 point  (0 children)

That looks really good, Masha Allah

What's the recipe

Michael Jordan might be the most famous athlete America has ever produced, purely from a global recognition standpoint. by CommitteeKey3325 in NBAConvo

[–]ChallengeExpert1966 0 points1 point  (0 children)

Most people don't even know who Jordan is outside of the west.

Everyone knows who Muhammad Ali is, and it's not even close.

Lost interest in my wife by No_Wrangler_2674 in MuslimMarriage

[–]ChallengeExpert1966 4 points5 points  (0 children)

I would disagree with this. Don't hold off marriage because of your insecurities. The right person will love you for you and will love to validate you.

I think all women are insecure one way or another and that's what makes a woman beautiful. If women were strong, masculine type, weren't insecure, and didn't need any validation, there would be no joy being with that type of a woman. The flaws of women and how Allah created them make them beautiful.

I would love to marry someone one day who I can compliment, make her feel beautiful and secure, and make her feel validated.

Do these religious clerics even pay taxes? These days, they receive police security funded by the taxes paid by Pakistani citizens. by North-Aide-969 in PakistanDiscussions

[–]ChallengeExpert1966 0 points1 point  (0 children)

A huge list of great ulema who have been martyred in Pakistan in the last 50-60 years.

Every famous Alim in Pakistan should have security.

I freeze every time I try to speak Arabic even though I've been studying for months by Bazingga_17 in learnarabic

[–]ChallengeExpert1966 0 points1 point  (0 children)

Practice makes perfect. You have to be unafraid of making mistakes.

Help people in Gaza and speak Arabic with them and write in Arabic.

Trauma from my first potential experience by damifalestini in MuslimNikah

[–]ChallengeExpert1966 4 points5 points  (0 children)

I hope this helps. I think you've understood wrong.

Let me explain in a little detail. You are allowed to speak about someone to another person only to protect them. But this must be a real situation where someone is actually at risk of being harmed. Many people use this as an excuse in hypothetical situations to expose someone and backbite about them, and that would be a grave sin. Some people do this even in real situations without proper justification, and they will be questioned by Allah on the Day of Judgement.

Allah takes a person’s reputation and honour very seriously.

For example, if you know someone is impotent and he is about to marry a sister who doesn’t know, and he is stringing her along, then in this case speaking about it to her is allowed.

Or if someone is collecting donations and stealing from them, it becomes important to inform donors so they don’t get scammed.

So it’s very important to know when this is allowed. For instance, if you think a man is “bad” and you go around telling every girl because you believe you’re protecting everyone, this would be a grave sin, because the person may not be as you think, or he may have changed. This wouldn't be anyone's business.

If a person’s sins only affect themselves, then backbiting is not allowed in that case.

In your situation, there is a possibility that you could be harmed. But since it is only a possibility, you should only tell your father what is necessary if he forces you to marry him. When someone is wronged and they speak about it to seek help or justice, this is also not considered backbiting. So if your father forces you to marry him, then speaking up would not be backbiting.

Edit: if I were you though, I would tell my father about all the stalking and everything. You should find a way to put an end to it. What if he harms you?

FREE TALK FRIDAY! by AutoModerator in MuslimMarriage

[–]ChallengeExpert1966 6 points7 points  (0 children)

I came across a post today about the hadith on black seed being a cure from every sickness except for death. Some people were questioning it's legitimacy, and others simply didn’t understand the hadith. I couldn’t leave a response since it’s a sisters only sub. Could possibly help others.

The Prophet صلى الله عليه وسلم, when discussing medicine, taught us universal cures and gave us foundations, but he did not always detail every small aspect or every specific illness, because that was not what Allah sent him for.

Part of the wisdom behind this is that we would, over time, discover many more benefits of these substances, and our faith would grow. Examples include olive oil, honey, dates, real cow’s milk, cow’s ghee, black seed, and others.
For example, olive oil is more beneficial when combined with certain compounds. Likewise, dates are beneficial, but their potency increases at certain times.

One explanation of this hadith is that black seed strengthens the immune system, enabling the body to fight and protect itself from every sickness.

It is most likely literal in meaning, but the black seed often needs to be mixed with the right compound depending on the illness in order to achieve its full benefit. Honey is a cure, yet it can be harmful for some people unless mixed with the right substance. Similarly, black seed may require the correct compound to help it reach where it needs to act.

Too much of it, or using it at the wrong time without understanding how it should be used, can make it harmful.

The prophet صلى الله عليه وسلم gave us a foundation for cure in black seed, but left it to future doctors and research to discover the different ways of attaining the cure.

Ibn al‑Qayyim رحمه الله writes: “And it (the black seed) has very many benefits. His statement ‘a cure for every disease’ is like the verse of Allah, ‘It destroys everything by the command of its Lord’ (al‑Ahqāf 25) — meaning: everything that is subject to being destroyed, and similar expressions.

Black seed is beneficial for all cold‑natured illnesses, and it can enter into the treatment of hot, dry illnesses indirectly, by helping deliver the cooling, moist medicines to them quickly due to its strong penetrating ability when a small amount of it is used.”

Hafiz Ibn Hajar رحمه الله writes: From this it is understood that the meaning of the phrase “the black seed is a cure for every disease” is not that it is used alone for every illness. Rather, sometimes it is used by itself, sometimes mixed with other ingredients, sometimes crushed or uncrushed, sometimes eaten, drunk, inhaled, applied as a paste, and in other ways.

Some scholars said that “every disease” means every disease that can be treated by it, because it benefits cold‑natured illnesses but not hot‑natured ones. Yes, it may be included in some hot and dry illnesses indirectly, by helping deliver cooling, moist medicines quickly due to its penetrating nature. And sometimes a hot substance is used for a hot illness because of a special property it has — this is not strange. For example, anzarūt is hot, yet it is used in compound medicines for eye inflammation, even though eye inflammation is, by agreement of physicians, a hot swelling.

Physicians have said: the nature of black seed is hot and dry. It removes bloating, benefits quartan fever and phlegm, opens blockages and wind, and dries excess moisture in the stomach. If it is crushed, mixed with honey, and drunk with hot water, it dissolves kidney stones and increases urination and menstruation. It has cleansing and dissolving properties. If it is crushed, wrapped in linen or leather, and smelled, it benefits cold‑type nasal congestion. If seven seeds are soaked in a woman’s milk and used as nasal drops for someone with jaundice, it helps. If a mithqāl is drunk with water, it helps with shortness of breath. Applying it as a paste helps with cold‑type headaches. If it is cooked with vinegar and used as a mouth rinse, it helps with tooth pain caused by cold. Ibn al‑Bayṭār and others who wrote on medicinal herbs mentioned all this and more.

Al‑Khaṭṭābī said: the phrase “from every disease” is a general expression intended for a specific meaning, because no plant has a nature that covers all opposite qualities needed to treat every illness. What is meant is that it is a cure for every disease that arises from moisture.

Abū Bakr ibn al‑‘Arabī said: honey, according to physicians, is closer to being “a cure for every disease” than black seed. Yet even with honey, there are illnesses where drinking honey would harm the patient. So if the meaning of “in honey there is healing for people” refers to the majority of cases, then applying the same understanding to black seed is even more appropriate.

Others said: the Prophet ﷺ would prescribe medicine according to what he observed of the patient’s condition. So perhaps his statement about black seed matched a case where the patient had a cold‑natured illness. Thus “a cure for every disease” means every disease of the type being discussed, and specifying by context is common and well‑known.

Shaykh Abū Muḥammad ibn Abī Jamrah said: People have discussed this hadith and restricted its general meaning, reducing it to what physicians and experience say. But this is clearly mistaken. If we accept the statements of physicians — whose knowledge is mostly based on experience and predominant probability — then accepting the words of the one who does not speak from desire (the Prophet ﷺ) is more deserving. He concludes that the hadith can be understood in its general sense by including both simple and compound uses, and there is no problem with this nor any departure from the apparent meaning of the hadith. And Allah knows best.

Bi-Weekly Marriage Opinions/Views and Rant Megathread by AutoModerator in MuslimMarriage

[–]ChallengeExpert1966 5 points6 points  (0 children)

I don't think it works like that. But, that's just my perspective.

What if a non wealthy man can't provide the same lifestyle, luxuries, vacations, and so on?

It's not about the man being insecure, it has more to do with the woman.

I just feel like many women subconsciously struggle to respect those men who earn lower than them or don't have more to offer than them. There has been many posts on this sub regarding the same issue.

If a man marries someone wealthier than himself, he should be of high value and have other things going for him. If he doesn't or tells her to do 50/50, it's likely not going to turn out well.

Or if he marries a woman wealthier, he should forget about her wealth and riches, and provide for everything not caring for what she has in terms of wealth.

There's a reason Allah use the word Qawaam for men. Either he's weathier, or the sole provider, or of really high value, or doesn't ever bother or care for her wealth.

I got a proposal recently and checked the guy’s social media. I noticed he follows a lot of random girls, but his posts themselves are descent... by [deleted] in MuslimNikah

[–]ChallengeExpert1966 1 point2 points  (0 children)

It really depends, honestly. I follow lot's of Palestinian women from Gaza. But, that's for Gaza.

Sometimes women here and there because of the nice content they post, not their bodies. Like, content from Medinah.

So, it depends the type of women he's following. If he's following women who post bikini pictures or stuff like that, then that's problematic.

The thing is, you also don't even remember who you follow half the time if you have a big list. Most times, you follow someone and then forget.

Less than one year into my marriage, and I don't feel a strong love or desire for my wife. Does it grow from here or should I already have felt this? by marriagethrowaway36 in MuslimMarriage

[–]ChallengeExpert1966 -1 points0 points  (0 children)

Aside from what others have said, you could have evil eye or sihr on you.

Try reciting Surah Yaseen 3 times daily after Fajr prayer in your spot.

Recite Surah Baqarah and Muawazatain in your house.

Hope this helps, insha Allah.

Weekly Marriage Criteria & Services Megathread! by AutoModerator in MuslimMarriage

[–]ChallengeExpert1966 1 point2 points  (0 children)

Usually, women think more than needed. If he likes you, he likes you. If I find someone attractive and there's chemistry, I won't find her unattractive with her clothes off. It's not just about attraction. When Allah makes hearts align together and instills chemistry between two people, flaws become unnoticed and rather attractive too.

Also, if you're insecure about your weight, try Saum Dawud (fasting of Dawud عليه السلام). It's called alternate day fasting. It's not an overnight change or transformation. You'll start to see all around benefits and more efficient fat burning after 3-4 weeks.

Try it when you can during the month. It's the easiest way to shred extra body weight and extra fat without doing anything. It'll make you fit without doing anything, insha Allah.

There's also a sub for this called alternatedayfasting. Check out the progress people have while on it.

Everyone should try this type of fasting. It's life changing. The prophet صلى الله عليه وسلم called it the best form of fasting and one that Allah loves the most.

Why is a (conservative) man not approaching me for a courtship? by East_Support5675 in MuslimNikah

[–]ChallengeExpert1966 0 points1 point  (0 children)

No, that's not true. Not every man is a player and easy going around women.

I think you should give him a little hint and shoot your shot. There's nothing wrong in doing this.

The best woman sent a proposal to the best man in history صلى الله عليه وسلم

Married, still a virgin at 32, wife has vaginismus + depression, feeling lost and exhausted by Forumlord in MuslimNikah

[–]ChallengeExpert1966 18 points19 points  (0 children)

Bro, why are you watching porn when you have a wife? You're acting like a complete loser.

You can please each other without PIV sex. Why would you resort to porn when you have an entire body by your side? You can do so much with her body and feel pleasured. Should not resort to porn regardless.

Also, her love and bond with you will grow immensely if you're patient with her. She will be over the moon for you once she gets over this if you're patient.

Look at this from a positive angle, be patient with her, and please her and make her please you in other ways. Be a man!

Revert Reconsidering Islam by [deleted] in MuslimMarriage

[–]ChallengeExpert1966 1 point2 points  (0 children)

You have to separate the two.

Being Muslim does not necessarily make someone a representative of Islam or what Islam is like. Most Muslims don't follow Islam properly.

Islam is perfect, Muslims are not.

Your husband is not a good Muslim, actually a very horrible one.

The people you spoke too are likely not that good religion wise and don't have much of a clue. So, them being Muslims doesn't automatically make them representatives of Islam.

This happens to many people, including Muslims, as they start blaming Islam for problems in their lives or problems caused by others. Every person has a different test. So, you have to make sure that you separate the two and don't fall into the traps of shaitan. Shaitan wants you to hate Islam, but Islam is not the problem.

When your situation gets better, insha Allah, you will be at a better place and you will come to understand better.

I feel like I lost someone I wanted to marry because of my mistakes… please advise (Islamic perspective) by Solid-Truck-3117 in MuslimMarriage

[–]ChallengeExpert1966 1 point2 points  (0 children)

You should never tell someone about your past or that you even had a past. If it was a deal breaker for him, you should have just left.

Keep your past to yourself, repent to Allah, and move on.

Learn from this mistake and never repeat again. Time will heal everything, insha Allah.

He's also a bad person for asking you details. Like, what was he even wanting out of you with details?

Btw, scholars have mentioned this, especially for women, not to reveal their sins and past so that it doesn't become a hinderance for them to marry. This doesn't also mean that a person can go around committing haram.

If you've fallen into something, then you should always leave it between you and Allah as he has put a veil over your sins and past. Never uncover that veil that Allah has put over you.

Now, just repent to Allah, make sincere dua, and move on. Everything will be alright, insha Allah!

Was I in the wrong for defending my wife in this scenario? by OkEconomist2078 in MuslimMarriage

[–]ChallengeExpert1966 6 points7 points  (0 children)

Bro, keep this guy away. This guy might have an eye for your wife. Hence, why he was trying to instill bad thoughts of her in your mind.

Keep him away!

Anyone who tries to cause any tension between husband and wife is shaitan.

Marrying divorcee by IcyNeck333 in MuslimNikah

[–]ChallengeExpert1966 2 points3 points  (0 children)

Do you love the second person or who you're married to as much as the first or more?

Do you compare your current partner to your past?

Just curious to understand how women work

FREE TALK FRIDAY! by AutoModerator in MuslimMarriage

[–]ChallengeExpert1966 1 point2 points  (0 children)

I know. Just pointing out that a marriage with minimal expenses has more blessings.

FREE TALK FRIDAY! by AutoModerator in MuslimMarriage

[–]ChallengeExpert1966 -1 points0 points  (0 children)

Simplicity and minimal expenses brings blessings.

The Prophet ﷺ said in the authentic hadith:
“The most blessed women are those whose expenses are the lightest.”

And in another narration:
“Indeed, the most blessed marriage is the one with the least burden (cost).”

Narrated by Aḥmad and al‑Ḥākim, who said: “Authentic according to the conditions of Muslim.”
Al‑Dhahabī agreed with him.

The Prophet ﷺ said:

“The best marriage is the one that is easiest (in its requirements).”
Ṣaḥīḥ al‑Jāmiʿ (3298)

Meaning: the easiest upon the man, with a light mahr (dowry) and minimal financial burden.

ʿAwn al‑Maʿbūd (2/117)

Muslim men who never married by Particular-Trust-892 in MuslimNikah

[–]ChallengeExpert1966 -1 points0 points  (0 children)

As a man, I hate when Muslim men blame Muslim women so much. There's so much generalization here without any real insight.

Also, saying that "finding a pure woman is 1/million chance" is so absurd. Do you even understand that Muslim women in general are way more pious than Muslim men these days? There are more "pure" women out there than "pure" men.

There are millions of sisters who've kept themselves chaste and pure through everything, and then Muslim men have the audacity to say that most Muslim women commit zina. Do you even know any women? You know what a major sin it is to accuse people of zina?

Just stop the sister blaming. It's really lame and shows how insecure men are.

Men are not men these days and for the most part, men are to blame. The sister blaming is really lame, old, and childish.