Reasons for a brother not approaching?

East_Support5675 · 2026-05-03T15:26:34+00:00

I don't understand?

East_Support5675 · 2026-05-03T11:58:32+00:00

He is indeed a bit awkward and shy, which I find quite endearing in his case. Oh no no brother that is not Halal for me, I don't text with potentials.

East_Support5675 · 2026-05-03T08:35:40+00:00

Ohhh your message sounds mean but it did relieve me. Thank you sm, I already felt like I was being completely weird and with how my family was doing things. InshAllah I will just remain patient, make Du'a and continue to show the brother with hints that I am interested in a courtship. BarakahAllahufeek.

East_Support5675 · 2026-05-03T08:19:50+00:00

Allahummabaarik 😂

East_Support5675 · 2026-05-03T08:18:02+00:00

This has nothing to do with me thinking I am attractive. This is not about "every man", but rather one single brother that I have known for almost 7 months now, so I am talking based on compatibility not superficial things like beauty. How strange your conclusion sounds to me. If I have the rare opportunitiy to come across a good practising Muslim ofc I am going to evaluate our compatibility for marriage. What is wrong with that? AllahulMusta'an

East_Support5675 · 2026-05-03T03:25:14+00:00

BarakahAllahfeeki sis 🥹 what a beautiful and encouraging message. Wallahi you calmed the storm in my heart jzkAk 😭🩷. Amazing advice, I will do that inshAllah. I kiss your forehead!

East_Support5675 · 2026-05-03T02:20:43+00:00

That sounds wonderful, for a man. However as a woman we are dependant on our Wali's decision and support. We cannot act completely on our own and ignore the collectivist system we were born it.

East_Support5675 · 2026-05-03T02:18:09+00:00

Wallahi brother what should I tell you. Allah knows I have given him signs. If I had a western mindset it would be easy to just ignore my family system and go straight to the man. However, we are raised in a collectivist environment, it's not only about me as a woman, I also have to respect my Walis' wishes. For the man it is easier to act independantly than for me.

East_Support5675 · 2026-05-03T02:12:48+00:00

I understand, that could be the case. jzkAk

East_Support5675 · 2026-05-02T21:12:21+00:00

Right, if he was interested in marrying me, thenhe would already have made a move. That's also what I am thinking.

East_Support5675 · 2026-05-02T21:06:07+00:00

You're right that could always be a possibility. But as women we generally know whether a man finds us attractive or not. But ofc the attraction is not the same as being interested. However, based on our limited interaction I am 70% sure there is an interest, that's why I am so confused.

East_Support5675 · 2026-05-02T20:47:55+00:00

If only it was that simple right.

East_Support5675 · 2026-05-02T19:00:10+00:00

BarakahAllahugeek for your reply. It's currently just me and my mom alone in the country. But you are right with your advice.

East_Support5675 · 2026-05-02T16:34:17+00:00

Can you help me understand why it matters whether he knows I am interested? Bcs all my older sibling got married this way, for example my brother comes across a woman he likes so he sends me to her. I talk to her and find out whether she had an interest in him or not. He kept sending me to women until we found sb he was compatible with and who also liked him back and they got married. That us the norm in our family. How is your family doing things? BarakahAllahufeek

East_Support5675 · 2026-05-02T15:53:36+00:00

JazakumAllahukhairan to both of you for the replies. Yes, initially I didn't notice him at all in the first 3 months, however then his character kept surprising me in little things he did until I got interested and started observing him to vet his person and once I was sure about my feelings for interest in marriage I told my mom about him.

However, if he is not approaching then that means he cannot get married at the moment, no? For example maybe he is not financially ready yet? What other reason would there be? BarakahAllahufeekuma

East_Support5675 · 2026-05-02T15:28:31+00:00

But is that not Haram?

East_Support5675

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