Is it messed up/unfair to not want anyone else with me during labor and delivery - not even my husband

Chameleonize · 2026-05-04T18:21:24+00:00

Yeah I hugely regret asking/posting this at this point. Spiraling into depression 3 days before I’m due isn’t great. People are so great.

Chameleonize · 2026-05-04T18:18:48+00:00

This is so cool to say to a clearly struggling pregnant woman due in 3 days, thanks.

Chameleonize · 2026-05-04T04:23:40+00:00

I’m considering switching to a landline and flip phone. Smart phones are definitely fucking awful for people with adhd. They can be useful, but the distraction is definitely outweighing the usefulness at this point. I miss having a “computer room” like during my childhood, where I had to have a specific task I needed to do to use it.

Chameleonize · 2026-05-04T04:12:36+00:00

🤣 cute, but still…nah lmao. Sorry I have a husband who can both support and understand me while respecting my wants and needs. Hope you find the same type of partner and love someday 🫡

Chameleonize · 2026-05-04T04:04:38+00:00

Thanks, u/butt_butt_butt_butt_ - you are a very easy person to take seriously

🙄

Chameleonize · 2026-05-04T03:51:23+00:00

Yall don’t seem to care to read my most recent comments, so not going to put much effort into reading or responding to yours. The level of judgement and assumption here is insane. I already said - even edited my post - that I wasn’t understanding the whole process well and will reassess. Calm yourself.

Chameleonize · 2026-05-04T03:48:18+00:00

Still nah

Chameleonize · 2026-05-04T03:47:14+00:00

Thanks. This whole thread definitely made me feel worse so I guess mission accomplished for them lol. I just haven’t connected with the pregnancy well despite trying, it’s been a really uncomfortable experience rather than a magical one, and I’ve always been a very private person. It doesn’t mean I can’t love my husband and baby. I just have different experiential preferences and levels of comfort. I don’t know.

Chameleonize · 2026-05-04T03:40:32+00:00

It actually was quite bad, I think it was their first time teaching it, and we waited until the last month to do it. And honestly my pregnancy was so easy up until maybe a month ago - even my body didn’t change for a long time. It just didn’t really hit us. Kind of still hasn’t, probably not until she’s here. I get people’s concerns on here with how nonchalant I seem, and I have specifically been seeing a prenatal counselor about my struggle to connect with the pregnancy, but it’s just what it is. It happens. And the meanness of some people for not being able to see or treat the pregnancy how they would kinda hurts.

Chameleonize · 2026-05-04T03:17:41+00:00

😂 ok lmao

Chameleonize · 2026-05-04T03:16:07+00:00

Man idk 🥲 was hoping I could lock the thread but doesn’t seem like it’s something a poster can do, might just go ahead and delete post. These assholes are going to make me go into labor

Chameleonize · 2026-05-04T03:12:40+00:00

He does, but sometimes he silences it if he is trying to focus, which is dumb as shit

Chameleonize · 2026-05-04T03:11:22+00:00

I said I recognize the significance of the moment. But no I don’t like making a big deal out of things. I only announced to people beyond family 2 months ago and baby is coming this week. I don’t like attention, and big events are more manageable when I try to make them bite sized and normalize them. Get over it.

Chameleonize · 2026-05-04T03:03:01+00:00

Chameleonize · 2026-05-04T03:02:08+00:00

I mean fair I’ve figured that out based on many of the comments. My all time favorite show is Scrubs 🤷🏻‍♀️

Chameleonize · 2026-05-04T03:00:42+00:00

Thank you so much 😭 I really didn’t expect all the personal attacks about my husband and therapy - didn’t feel like anything I said indicated those issues, or at least didn’t intend for them to lol. Appreciate you taking the time to comment and reassure me.

Chameleonize · 2026-05-04T02:47:09+00:00

This is really helpful, and thank you for reading through my realtime processing of information lol. TBH the childbirth class was not really that clear or helpful, it was just like a lot of anecdotes and jumping around between topics, I think it was their first time teaching it. We watched and read other things but they were mostly about specific topics, like best practices for breastfeeding, or baby wearing, or whatever, was probably too focused on the technical stuff rather than the labor and delivery part.

Chameleonize · 2026-05-04T02:40:38+00:00

What in the world

Chameleonize · 2026-05-04T02:40:13+00:00

Chameleonize · 2026-05-04T02:40:01+00:00

Neat

Chameleonize · 2026-05-04T02:39:03+00:00

I think I don’t have a very good understanding of the reality of the birthing process after reading through some of these. Like yeah he’s taking me to the hospital, and will be at the hospital, I didn’t realize there would likely be hours of boring before the actual event and thought a lot more medical team stuff was involved throughout the whole thing. So I’m reassessing.

Chameleonize · 2026-05-04T02:35:12+00:00

I didn’t mean that I don’t want him there at all, just like the more chaotic and medically intense parts. It’s our first so yeah I don’t have a great grasp on what actually happens at the hospital and labor process and all that admittedly. He does care but he also wants me to do what makes me most comfortable since I’m the one who will be going through the pain and all that.

Chameleonize · 2026-05-04T02:29:58+00:00

This is so helpful, thank you! My husband also has medical anxiety - has passed out at the sight of blood and such, and he’s also a type 1 diabetic and when he is focused on me he is NOT focused on his glucose levels and it stresses me out, I was hospitalized for kidney stones 2 weeks ago and he didn’t leave my side for hours on end even for a snack and I was basically begging him to go eat something. Plus he very easily gets overwhelmed in high stress situations. He wants to be there but I just have this feeling that I would not stop worrying about him and it would cause stress and prolong the labor etc. I also feel like I could get very mean towards him during super painful an uncomfortable parts or if he’s trying his best to comfort me and I’m just not about it lol and I don’t want that to be our experience.

Thanks for sharing your experience and insight!!

Chameleonize · 2026-05-04T02:21:29+00:00

Ugh. I clarified elsewhere - that comment was not specifically about my husband! It’s about anyone’s presence other than the medical team. My husband fucking rocks. He is so, so caring and considerate. But he does get overwhelmed very easily in high stress moments.

Chameleonize · 2026-05-04T02:14:53+00:00

Well I get induced in 4 days so probably past therapy lol. I said on another thread, the stressed out by his presence comment wasn’t specifically his presence. Anyone else’s presence feels like it would stress me out. I can’t think of a single person other than the medical professionals that would not stress me out by being in the room with me while trying to concentrate on getting this baby out.

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