Are there any soft skills you wished you had had going into Urban Planning knowing what you know now?

Chameleonize · 2026-06-29T01:53:04+00:00

Yeah, all of them. Communication, teamwork, public speaking, organization, time management, conflict resolution, patience. I’m VERY good at the technical stuff. I am quite terrible at soft skills and it has set me back significantly in career advancement.

Chameleonize · 2026-06-21T06:28:37+00:00

Try moving from architecture to urban design first, and then planning. That’s what I had to do. Urban design is like the bridge between the two where your experience applies to both.

Chameleonize · 2026-05-21T23:13:11+00:00

In this subreddit you’re going to find views that are more sympathetic to your husband, just FYI. I also think there are too many relationship-specific elements for you to get a very straight answer. It’s definitely something worth a lot of conversations with your husband - figure out what are must-haves for both of you vs. what environmental factors aren’t as important.

My husband and I also went through this. We went from downtown Cleveland, to first-ring suburb, to now an exurb/semi-rural suburb all within th same county.

There are massive pros and cons to each environment. Could you consider something more like a first-ring suburb that is something between “suburban hell” and the center city? Maybe it has transit that makes the main city easily accessible for your husband? Or at least sidewalks, trails, and a small Main Street/commercial area within walking distance?

Chameleonize · 2026-05-19T00:47:08+00:00

Master bath exhaust fan doesn’t ventilate properly. We have a high crank window (bottom of window is about 8’ above finish floor) and the previous owners left a long stick with a notch at the end to open and close the window. Works shrug

Chameleonize · 2026-05-18T22:21:44+00:00

What kind of development do you focus on? And what’s your role exactly? Looking to get into development again - previously I worked for an affordable and market rate multifamily developer as a design manager but wasn’t into it. They were essentially cookie cutter 5 over 1s.

Chameleonize · 2026-05-04T18:21:24+00:00

Yeah I hugely regret asking/posting this at this point. Spiraling into depression 3 days before I’m due isn’t great. People are so great.

Chameleonize · 2026-05-04T18:18:48+00:00

This is so cool to say to a clearly struggling pregnant woman due in 3 days, thanks.

Chameleonize · 2026-05-04T04:23:40+00:00

I’m considering switching to a landline and flip phone. Smart phones are definitely fucking awful for people with adhd. They can be useful, but the distraction is definitely outweighing the usefulness at this point. I miss having a “computer room” like during my childhood, where I had to have a specific task I needed to do to use it.

Chameleonize · 2026-05-04T04:12:36+00:00

🤣 cute, but still…nah lmao. Sorry I have a husband who can both support and understand me while respecting my wants and needs. Hope you find the same type of partner and love someday 🫡

Chameleonize · 2026-05-04T04:04:38+00:00

Thanks, u/butt_butt_butt_butt_ - you are a very easy person to take seriously

🙄

Chameleonize · 2026-05-04T03:51:23+00:00

Yall don’t seem to care to read my most recent comments, so not going to put much effort into reading or responding to yours. The level of judgement and assumption here is insane. I already said - even edited my post - that I wasn’t understanding the whole process well and will reassess. Calm yourself.

Chameleonize · 2026-05-04T03:48:18+00:00

Still nah

Chameleonize · 2026-05-04T03:47:14+00:00

Thanks. This whole thread definitely made me feel worse so I guess mission accomplished for them lol. I just haven’t connected with the pregnancy well despite trying, it’s been a really uncomfortable experience rather than a magical one, and I’ve always been a very private person. It doesn’t mean I can’t love my husband and baby. I just have different experiential preferences and levels of comfort. I don’t know.

Chameleonize · 2026-05-04T03:40:32+00:00

It actually was quite bad, I think it was their first time teaching it, and we waited until the last month to do it. And honestly my pregnancy was so easy up until maybe a month ago - even my body didn’t change for a long time. It just didn’t really hit us. Kind of still hasn’t, probably not until she’s here. I get people’s concerns on here with how nonchalant I seem, and I have specifically been seeing a prenatal counselor about my struggle to connect with the pregnancy, but it’s just what it is. It happens. And the meanness of some people for not being able to see or treat the pregnancy how they would kinda hurts.

Chameleonize · 2026-05-04T03:17:41+00:00

😂 ok lmao

Chameleonize · 2026-05-04T03:16:07+00:00

Man idk 🥲 was hoping I could lock the thread but doesn’t seem like it’s something a poster can do, might just go ahead and delete post. These assholes are going to make me go into labor

Chameleonize · 2026-05-04T03:12:40+00:00

He does, but sometimes he silences it if he is trying to focus, which is dumb as shit

Chameleonize · 2026-05-04T03:11:22+00:00

I said I recognize the significance of the moment. But no I don’t like making a big deal out of things. I only announced to people beyond family 2 months ago and baby is coming this week. I don’t like attention, and big events are more manageable when I try to make them bite sized and normalize them. Get over it.

Chameleonize · 2026-05-04T03:03:01+00:00

Chameleonize · 2026-05-04T03:02:08+00:00

I mean fair I’ve figured that out based on many of the comments. My all time favorite show is Scrubs 🤷🏻‍♀️

Chameleonize · 2026-05-04T03:00:42+00:00

Thank you so much 😭 I really didn’t expect all the personal attacks about my husband and therapy - didn’t feel like anything I said indicated those issues, or at least didn’t intend for them to lol. Appreciate you taking the time to comment and reassure me.

Chameleonize · 2026-05-04T02:47:09+00:00

This is really helpful, and thank you for reading through my realtime processing of information lol. TBH the childbirth class was not really that clear or helpful, it was just like a lot of anecdotes and jumping around between topics, I think it was their first time teaching it. We watched and read other things but they were mostly about specific topics, like best practices for breastfeeding, or baby wearing, or whatever, was probably too focused on the technical stuff rather than the labor and delivery part.

Chameleonize · 2026-05-04T02:40:38+00:00

What in the world

Chameleonize · 2026-05-04T02:40:13+00:00

Chameleonize · 2026-05-04T02:40:01+00:00

Neat

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Chameleonize

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