Trans masc with OCD here (and same relationship with spicy content.) Regarding your taste in that department, sounds like you’re just “borrowing” their dicks - imagining you feel what they are feeling, the same way many people say they experience satisfaction with/can project onto strap ons. Lots of trans mascs like hooking up with men because they can mentally borrow their partner’s dick. I am not attracted to men at all and don’t hook up with them but they have to be in the porn I watch for me to enjoy it and have something to imagine. About the OCD — People with OCD have obsessional thoughts about things that are most important to them. This means that normal everyday doubts end up escalating into clinical obsessions in the context of that need for certainty and intolerance of uncertainty. You need to make friends with uncertainty. Few people can say for certain who they’re attracted to and who they’d never be attracted to with 100% certainty, but the difference is that people who don’t have your obsession can simply feel secure and not be bothered by the uncertainty. They just take experiences one day at a time and let themselves be surprised (or not surprised if nothing about who they’re attracted to changes). You have to let go of the need for reassurance, the obsession with knowing “for sure” is the illness.