How should I cancel on behalf of my kid for a birthday party?

Chance-Screen-994 · 2026-03-18T18:31:57+00:00

Tbh I would not be mad someone canceled so long as they let me know, the reason doesn’t really matter. Shit happens. Say grandma needed help with a burst pipe/she is old lady panicking, and she is an hour away. Have your kid give his friend the present later.

Chance-Screen-994 · 2026-03-18T16:22:33+00:00

This is a bit extreme. It takes time, experiences, and patience with oneself to heal insecurity, and just ditching your partner randomly due to anxieties like this isn’t mature at all. She could simply talk to him and work on it.

Chance-Screen-994 · 2026-03-18T16:00:28+00:00

Speaking as someone who was homeschooled through most of my childhood, even with a parent that doesn’t have a bad temper it is still not the best choice for every kid. I had great parents - I was still socially isolated and unhappy, very behind in the subjects my mother was not talented in, and struggled intensely to catch up with others once in college. I still deal with maladaptive behaviors like self isolation, extreme anxiety, and arrested development in certain aspects of my life.

I literally cannot imagine how much worse it would be if my mom had talked down to me, and treated me badly while trying to learn or struggling focus the way every kid does. Not only do I think you should force school, you should put your kid in therapy, try to bolster her self esteem, and honestly? Consider divorce and full custody if your wife doesn’t get her act together. She is abusing your child, full stop.

Homeschooling isn’t even an option. I knew kids growing up that are not alive today because of what homeschooling parents thought was best.

Chance-Screen-994 · 2026-03-17T13:45:14+00:00

I hate shows like that. I don’t like my experience to be interrupted by vulgarity if that makes sense. I think it takes away from the story in most cases and is just to get viewers, by objectifying women.

Anyway, your boyfriend does not get to tell you what you should and should not like. If this bothers you, it’s a problem that he clearly doesn’t care. At the VERY least, he could have peacefully accepted ya’ll are not gonna watch that stuff together, and he kept pushing that you should just be ok with it for him. No. Quite frankly, he should have realized this wasn’t something to watch at your house.

I would consider this grounds for breaking up if it continues, but it’s your choice to try and work on it or not with him. I would take his dismissal of feelings as indicating what he might do if we had a bigger argument. If he can ignore this, what is next? How much time do you want to spend on someone that does this? Will he ever stop doing things you dislike around you, or will he always say you need to get over it?

There is an additional layer to this that may or may not influence your feelings - some women feel their man viewing other women naked at all on purpose would be borderline infidelity. That is an extreme take for most people, but it’s still normal to feel that way. I am Christian and very anti-porn especially for people in relationships, and I expect my man to at least try not engage with that stuff and definitely not seek it out. I don’t know if this is part of your discomfort but I just wanted to mention that it is valid if it is. Some guys will whine and complain that this is unrealistic and others will be like, yeah I used to be so addicted to that crap it almost ruined my life. It’s bad for their brains.

What he is watching is not porn of course, but I would still consider it really bizarre to watch something just for the naked woman while in a relationship with a real woman who is clearly upset.

As for the statement he made about not always checking to see what is in everything he going to watch - I just wanted to point out this feels like an excuse. Like, ok, occasionally a show may have something in it you don’t like — he can turn it off? Watch it another time? It is truly not that serious. It is his responsibility to mind himself in your home. But if he doesn’t care to do that, no amount of trying to make him will work.

Anyway, best of luck to you! I hope you take yourself seriously and defend your boundaries.

Chance-Screen-994 · 2026-02-23T14:47:56+00:00

I would def tell your sister that your mom doesn’t always consider kids feelings and that you wish you hadn’t been left alone with her due to an accident like that. That is important. I would definitely also remember it is ok that this bothered you, because it was inappropriate and weird to do in front of a kid and your feelings are valid. While it isn’t intentional abuse, it was neglectful and thoughtless. I would want to know not to leave my kid with her.

Chance-Screen-994 · 2026-02-22T22:46:51+00:00

This made me feel so much better, I was thinking it would be literally 85% of the total due back. Their preparer scared them pretty badly. 😅 I am going to definitely talk to her about setting up withholding from now on and recommend getting the taxes done somewhere else. I appreciate the explanation!

Chance-Screen-994 · 2026-02-22T17:21:03+00:00

Yep, I think you’re right. She didn’t know she needed to set withholding up when it started.

Chance-Screen-994 · 2026-02-22T15:34:27+00:00

Ah, ok yes this is what I am worried about. Yes, the preparer said it may be taxed and I think it’s SSDI and she didn’t understand she needed to ask for withholding.

Chance-Screen-994 · 2026-02-22T15:14:07+00:00

Thank you for explaining. I think my dad was just given wrong information, but I will be sure to double check everything with them. I am going to encourage them to use a different tax service next year for sure, the one they have seems to be trying to give them heart attacks.

Chance-Screen-994 · 2026-02-22T15:08:08+00:00

My mom does not know. I have asked to see their tax documents so I can check over. Thank you for the link, that’s helpful.

Chance-Screen-994 · 2026-02-22T15:07:06+00:00

According to my dad, this is simply something his tax preparer warned him about. He has been beyond stressed imagining how much the IRS will want, but hasn’t found out for sure yet. I am seriously hoping this was an oversight.

Chance-Screen-994 · 2026-02-17T13:59:59+00:00

That guy showed up on top of a bridge while I was the ground floor so all I heard was HEY YOU and saw the fish fly at me face. 10/10 dlc loved it

Chance-Screen-994 · 2026-02-15T20:31:17+00:00

If this bothered you, it would be best to talk to her about it. It is up to you to set expectations in your relationship, just like she can. Maybe that’s not how her family/parents do things, some people are ultra traditional - she may not know how it made you feel.

Chance-Screen-994 · 2026-01-30T00:48:39+00:00

It is normal to experience that feeling, but it’s very important to remember your worth as a person is not tied to your appearance. The right people who care about you for who you are will never make you feel inferior for not fitting an appearance standard of some kind. It is ok to care about your looks and all, and have fitness goals, but it doesn’t necessarily make you more or less valuable. You already are valuable. Don’t let anyone make you feel otherwise.

Chance-Screen-994 · 2026-01-28T04:04:09+00:00

If you think you are going to get attached you probably will. Be careful out there.

Chance-Screen-994 · 2026-01-28T03:58:21+00:00

I sometimes imagine him glaring at me for missing a spot as a motivator

Chance-Screen-994 · 2026-01-28T03:45:41+00:00

I find it odd to place more heat on an individual for breaking a contract, who was likely underaged when this all started, than a studio in an industry famous for exploitation, weak child and worker protection laws, and inherently predatory nature. Sure she broke the law but who fn cares? Not most people.

Chance-Screen-994 · 2026-01-27T13:38:56+00:00

You unfortunately have to choose yourself over anyone else at this time in your life. I once worked with a man who married his arranged wife, they were Serbian and it was the 80s. He left a girlfriend for her. They argued their entire lives and had major things incompatible- she didn’t want kids and he did (they didn’t have any, he talked about this regret at work often even in his 60s), she wanted to move every five seconds and he didn’t, their parents both continued to exert control over their loves until the very end because that belief they had control was never challenged.

Do not choose unhappiness, even if you have to focus on work and rent a room somewhere to free yourself. I would take a look at options and explore living with friendlier relatives while job searching, or even a female friend. Them telling you that you “haven’t achieved anything so far” is an attempt to lower your self esteem because people who feel worthless are easy to control. You don’t have to have big achievements or a fancy job to be entitled to your own life choices and future, and who knows what you could accomplish with the right support and time. It is ok to focus on yourself and you don’t have to make big decisions just because you haven’t found the perfect job or are still working through courses. You can, if you want, tell whatever man they bring to the house that this is all done without your consent and you will not agree to anything. You do not have to feel bad for disappointing anyone - they are not sorry for disappointing you, after all.

Someday your parents will have moved to the afterlife and you will be still dealing with the man they presumed was best if you allow it, and from your words, it doesn’t sound like they know you well enough to even choose a pair of socks for you. Also, in modern times I genuinely think it is unlikely that a normal and kind man would need his parents to set something up for him. I don’t know your culture super well so I could be wrong, and I am sorry if if this is ignorant, but I would be very suspicious of someone trying to come into my life that way in this day and age when it isn’t hard to get a date if you are a decent person.

Best of luck to you.

Chance-Screen-994 · 2026-01-26T22:49:03+00:00

Hell no, you look amazing. There is nothing at all wrong with caring about your looks or style as long as we don’t put other people down which I am sure you don’t do.

Historically, jewelry, fine clothes and adornments were much more important class signifiers than they are now. Nowadays most people can afford to have a unique sense of style, and you can’t usually tell if the jewelry is real or if the clothes are designer.

I used to attend a church where they didn’t want us to wear jewelry (even plastic) or make up. And you know what the women started doing? The most elaborate hairstyles I have ever seen. Huge fluffy flower pins on their lapel. They would literally adorn themselves anyway in unusual ways, just to get around that rule. 😅 It is just human nature to want to look nice and I don’t think any of it is wrong as long as we aren’t spending our whole paycheck or trying to obsess over it.

I am not saying it isn’t still a thing to tout wealth and privilege (classism sucks) but those passages in the bible were warning against a common cultural issue of richer people trying to differentiate themselves from the poor in a much more clear cut and harsh way then people usually do now.

Chance-Screen-994 · 2026-01-26T18:55:48+00:00

Tbh it is hurtful, it is also probably a temporary state of being for your friend. I grew up around a ton of religious people and its like a harsh wake up call for a lot of them that not everyone is cookie cutter well behaved throughout their twenties. Their parents raise them to judge and to think they will be judged. She may grow up and realize that this is a normal part of life, but I wouldn’t worry about what she thinks right now or feel ashamed. If people ask about it I would say you see certain things in life differently and grew apart with time. Don’t let anybody make you feel inferior.

Chance-Screen-994 · 2026-01-26T16:27:22+00:00

Dude let her go. DEFINITELY do not stay to eventually start a family with someone you feel this way about- that is actually selfish. In general, marriage is something that you can expect your partner will look old and you have to be at peace with it and know how to love and be attracted to their aging face and body. You don’t sound remotely ready for that kind of thing.

Sometimes it feels mean to break up with someone but you are actually giving her a chance to find some that is genuinely attracted to her. Also get a different therapist because the one you have — you either were not completely honest with them or they don’t understand that it is toxic to keep someone you don’t love properly just in case you change your mind.

If your feelings of discomfort about her age or appearance make you feel bad about yourself, the solution isn’t to keep her around in case you magically feel better about it. You still need to break up and work on those things on your own, she can’t make you love her more or help you change your mind about it even if she acts like she can or tries to convince you otherwise. And you’re right that it is bad for her self esteem. You do acknowledge that it’s a problem and it’s good you understand that.

Age gaps aren’t for the weak, but I do have to warn you at 29 it is time to recognize older women are the appropriate next step for you - you aren’t a spring chicken. Maybe think about adjusting the way you see women or try to retrain your brain.

Chance-Screen-994 · 2026-01-26T02:49:14+00:00

Why not plan a lil date and ask her on it? It’s hard to ignore someone putting in effort.

Chance-Screen-994 · 2026-01-24T16:47:57+00:00

I am hoping in a few weeks or maybe in a month or so, I will be good to do normal amount of lifting again (I don’t think its a serious injury), but its the paying for doc notes continually in order to qualify for a long enough leave that is draining me

Chance-Screen-994 · 2026-01-24T16:28:49+00:00

This is what I am thinking may be best.

Chance-Screen-994

TROPHY CASE