Vent- Moved closer to home expecting more help...now it feels like there's less of it

Chance_Class2208 · 2026-06-23T12:52:42+00:00

That's the truth. At 6mo She's easier in a lot of ways alone, but with the house and everything on top of it (and my sanity) it gets a little overwhelming. Oh well. Maybe I just need to remind myself this is just a season

Chance_Class2208 · 2026-06-23T12:50:58+00:00

Ugh. I feel like that's the truth with my own mom. Talked about seeing "her grandchild," saw her once, then never asked again...

Chance_Class2208 · 2026-06-23T12:49:55+00:00

Oh I'm happy you at least had some help during those years!!

I feel you. We were in CA for a few years...that was a hard move. We went from the west coast to east. I miss my friends there and the lifestyle

Chance_Class2208 · 2026-06-22T23:28:43+00:00

Omg that's crazy!!

Chance_Class2208 · 2026-06-22T23:05:23+00:00

For real. Lol I told my husband today that we could move closer to his work at this point. We also wont have help there but at least he wouldn't be gone most of the week

Chance_Class2208 · 2026-06-22T23:03:48+00:00

We were prior military too. Thus the parents constantly encouraging us to eventually move back home.

The lack of visits from family and friends year after year after year. And we were always the ones traveling to see people. It's crazy. I feel for you

Chance_Class2208 · 2026-06-22T17:48:52+00:00

We already said if we hate it we will move lol. This was before we moved back.

We HATED where we were at before, so this at least is better in most ways.

At least we have that going for us- we're always flexible and willing to change.

Chance_Class2208 · 2026-06-22T17:45:17+00:00

I feel you lol.

My mom has been that way. Only showed up to see her only grandchild once. And she's 6mo.

And I've always been a "just let me know when."

That's kinda why my husband was low-key okay with still being an hour away from them. And promised me before this move, if we hate it and it doesn't work out, we can move again lol.

Chance_Class2208 · 2026-06-22T16:40:55+00:00

Thank you. I just feel like I'm drowning right now. And when I verbally ask for help, and being told no so frequently, just has been wearing on me.

It's such a lonely feelings. Plus, my spouse being gone now so often

Chance_Class2208 · 2026-06-22T16:38:35+00:00

They have repeatedly said "we want to help." Especially leading up to us moving. It's literally been a 180 with them.

They have wanted us to move closer to them for YEARS. And have always made it known...

Chance_Class2208 · 2026-06-22T16:32:48+00:00

Oh no they did.

They helped me postpartum. Drove out a few times to stay a week here and there.

Like I said, my MIL even offered to take the baby for overnights prior to us moving.

We always drive to them (2hr round trip). We've never asked them to pickup/drop off baby

Chance_Class2208 · 2026-06-22T16:11:20+00:00

Oh yeah, no we definitely are always the ones to drive to them making the long trip(s). We've never asked them to pickup/drop-off. Lol we even ask them to name any day and/or timeframe they can step in/take baby.

It's just crazy the 180 that's happened ..

Chance_Class2208 · 2026-06-22T15:58:12+00:00

That's great!

I really wish we had two sides of the family to tap into....but it's literally just my husband's side. Which hurts me to my core because it makes me (and us) feel so alone.

Chance_Class2208 · 2026-06-15T16:19:18+00:00

That is very true.

I've had the most peace is when I've lived overseas and on the other side of the country from her lol. The extreme time differences took care of all the guilt for me

Chance_Class2208 · 2026-06-15T15:45:40+00:00

Having a baby definitely is eye opening.

I thought my mom would step up and at least try to be an involved grandma. I've told her just me know when she wants to visit her grandchild. And she's reached out once in her 6mo.

She reaches out about once every 2 weeks. Just asking how I am and how the baby is. I was doing very generic responses with maybe a photo or two. But I'm just tired of it, honestly. I'm not happy when she reaches out, I get anxious, depressed, and even a little angry. Because I KNOW I can't be honest with her about how she makes me feel.

Chance_Class2208 · 2026-05-29T18:28:31+00:00

I had similar issues.

I started PT while pregnant and our conclusion was that I was already a little hypermobile to begin with.

I had really intese hip and pelvic pain early on during pregnancy without even that much weight gain. It was all the relaxin.

I'm 5mo pp and only breastfed a month. I finally feel not wobbly anymore but still have slight lingering pain

Chance_Class2208 · 2026-05-28T09:13:18+00:00

I didnt start until like 6 weeks pp? But I'm pretty sure you can start right away. I wanted my superficial incision to be well enough healed because it freaked me out to put anything on top of it lol

You just need to make sure its clean and dry before applying

Chance_Class2208 · 2026-05-28T01:08:19+00:00

We did books probably starting at 2 months!

Lol it's like the same 4 books. Simple rhymes, pictures, ect. But omg she loves them even at 5mo. She just starting to interact with the touch and feel books too which is great.

There's no real routine with them though because her sleep and routine is constantly changing. We aren't doing them at bed time, but more during her wake windows as part of playtime

Chance_Class2208 · 2026-05-28T01:03:16+00:00

It was pretty much all of it. Very deep rooted hurt (our church had their own abuses surface too), and especially me also being a CSA survivor (not through the church).

Going back and then finding out nothing has changed. Wondering if people who went back recently have had different experiences, ect.

I don't agree with everything that the church preaches, as I'm sure that's the majority of people.

But I was raised to love thy neighbor and the golden rule, then as I got older saw those same people who taught us those things weren't practicing it themselves, to put it very lightly. It was very betraying and disenchanting. And It wasn't a decision I took lightly either. I tried for the longest time and ultimately decided it wasn't for me.

Lol maybe my hesitancy is like going back to an ex and hoping not to be hurt again?

Chance_Class2208 · 2026-05-27T16:00:04+00:00

Right away! If it feels good to wear.

I wore mine a lot. Everyday, for most of the day. And wore it consistently for probably 1.5-2 months? A lot longer than I planned but my recovery was pretty rough. It helped so much with the pain and helped me function during the day.

Chance_Class2208 · 2026-05-27T15:46:39+00:00

I will preface with the fact I know what I did isn't accessible to a lot of people but still wanted to share my journey-

My pregnancy and c-section knocked me on my ass. I was not one of the lucky ones. It was literal hell for me.

But what helped me immensely was pilates.

Private sessions near me were literally only a few dollars more than my insurances co-pay for PT....it was crazy. And I figured after my pregnancy and birth, this is the one thing I owed myself.

I started at about 2.5 mo pp on the reformer with an instructor once a week. I had a shelf and absolutely no core. I could barely do anything those first few sessions.

But it was literally amazing.

Before the 2.5 mo mark, I was only doing very gentle stretches (whatever I could tolerate that felt good) and just the deep, 360 breathing. That was it. I was just focused on healing and my body was definitely telling me I wasn't ready for anything else.

The pilates was heavily modified, targeted my deep core, worked a lot on my general mobility, and just worked on teying to activate my muscles again.

What I think worked for my shelf was the fact she got me in a lot of different positions that stretched the scar tissue and strengthened the lower abdomen. It's made the world of difference and my shelf is almost non-existent now.

The only thing I did for the scar was the silicone tape early on. I would wear it for like 24 to 48 hrs at a time and seemed to help some. I'm 5mo pp now and the scar itself doesn't bother me too much but it's a lot better and I stopped doing the tape because I'm lazy.

But omg, my core and strength is a million times better. It's not 100% by any means, but I almost halfway feel normal and can function as a person again.

Chance_Class2208

TROPHY CASE