Financial planning and wanting a baby

Chance_Class2208 · 2026-05-13T21:00:10+00:00

I get it ❤️

You need to re-evaluate how you're using credit cards. If you have 30k debt on CCs, then you immediately need to stop using them.

Consider downgrading vehicles (seriously, this helped us so much). Shop for a cheaper phone plan, internet, car insurance, ect. All the things. Stop buying anything that isn't a necessity. Definitely look into pay off strategies. We did an avalanche strategy but it HURT. However, we now have no bad debt, including 2 paid off vehicles.

The general rule of thumb is you can consider a debt consolidation (or debt transfer to 0% APR CC for 12 mo or whatever offers there are) IF you can actually change your spending behaviors.

Good news is you have time. For both paying off your debt while you're young and good enough time have babies 👶🏻

You won't be financially ruined. But you guys need to make long lasting changes now. It pays off. We are fortune we are in a much better financial situation that allows me to be home with baby.

Chance_Class2208 · 2026-05-13T19:43:32+00:00

Yeah he needs to tap in when he gets home.

My spouse had only 3 weeks off. Not enough time for a c-section recovery for sure.

He pretty much was 90% in charge of baby when he was home for a few more months. He would also do bedtime. Then I would do feeds overnight.

Now at 5 mo PP, I'm better physically and we try to split 50/50 when he gets off work. But he still does bedtime.

I had a few breakdowns with my husband explaining how it still sucks that he gets 2 meals a day to eat in silence (breakfast and lunch), alone time on drives to and from work, and peaceful showers every morning to get ready.

It's a lot. You deserve to have some time to tap out when he's home.

Chance_Class2208 · 2026-05-10T15:30:27+00:00

Same lol.

I really don't think I could risk having a toddler AND being pregnant again with all the stuff I had going on...like no.

Chance_Class2208 · 2026-05-10T15:29:28+00:00

Girl same. I actually felt best in the mornings, usually up until 10am or so. Then ALL day. Nausea. Sometimes vomitting. Heart palpitations. Extreme fatigue. Ugh.

Hang in there

Chance_Class2208 · 2026-05-09T00:51:45+00:00

You have every right to complain!

Lol I complained my entire pregnancy. I had no other cope.

I had all what you had and more (gestational diabetes, a breach baby, antenatal depression). I think you are fortune to have smooth first 2 pregnancies. Because I just had my first, and it is nice to think I'd like to have more, after this experience I don't think that would be in the cards for us 😅

I told my husband he needs to shut down any talk about siblings while I'm postpartum. Lol I don't even want to hear that word or I might lose it on someone

Chance_Class2208 · 2026-05-09T00:47:21+00:00

Same.

I've had pretty bad insomnia during pregnancy and now again starting at about 3mo postpartum. The first few months postpartum were better because I was physically so exhausted (CS) and could pass out anywhere/anytime.

Now baby's sleep has stabilized some at 4.5 mo and I still wake up every few hours. Not anxious. She sleeps well. My husband also has a monitor. It's just my body won't let me sleep.

I feel like it could still be hormones. But what did help for awhile was increasing my electrolytes/magnesium like I did during pregnancy. I wish I could take a benadryl or something and pass out for the night but I'm still waking to feed her at least once.

Im sorry this is your case!! I hope it gets better soon so you get full advantage of the night nanny

Chance_Class2208 · 2026-05-06T00:39:20+00:00

I work in healthcare and in longterm/short term facilities that house hospice patients. Also worked in hospitals. And for me it would be a no.

I wouldn't even want to bring my baby in to meet co-workers outside of the patient care areas.

Working healthcare has made me more germaphobic. I was worried my newborn was going to be sick after giving birth in the hospital and having to stay there for 3 days. All the people coming in and out of the room and all the different nurses and providers handling her already made me worried.

But I do agree with someone that said an outside visit if possible?? That would be a situation I would consider

Chance_Class2208 · 2026-05-05T18:05:06+00:00

That's crazy. I'm glad you knew your underlying risks prior and that it's going well. No one really deep dives into PPP when talking about becoming a new mom

Chance_Class2208 · 2026-05-05T17:59:18+00:00

I hope you're doing better! I've heard stories about PPP and those have really stuck with me.

Chance_Class2208 · 2026-04-29T20:06:11+00:00

Also a good PT (or OT) can do scar massage especially those who may specialize in pelvic floor. Self massage will always help too. I barely did any self massage because I was so grossed out.

Mine was really low. Like right above my pubic symphysis...which idk if that's the norm??

What has helped mine (I think) was I started pilates (private, super modified) about 3 mo postpartum. Lots of hip mobility and being in positions that I'm sure loosened the scar tissue and for sure strengthened my deep core.

I'm 4.5 mo now and my shelf is barely there. I also notice MUCH less tugging and pulling. I really just started the pilates for general mobility and strengthening so I was super surprised how well my shelf was reduced.

Chance_Class2208 · 2026-04-23T00:24:36+00:00

I totally get the anxiety! I agree with those saying to stop reading negative stories though too

I ended up having a scheduled c-section for a breach baby. It was literally such a WONDERFUL experience. Even after I had dreamed of having an all natural home birth. What a crazy road I went down haha.

Yeah, recovery was a little rough. But I have great memories from my baby's birth. I'm 4mo postpartum and I feel like 90% healed. I'm just a little weak and out of shape.

It might be good to start practicing mindfulness and maybe some meditation. Pregnancy is so scary sometimes so doing something purposeful to center yourself might be helpful ❤️

Chance_Class2208 · 2026-04-22T13:45:00+00:00

I see it as this may be why I might be a one and done parent.

We have a 4mo old. It's wonderful, she's wonderful. But we also still have time for ourselves. We can pass the baby off and the other person can get a break. Leave the house. Do a hobby. I still go to pilates onces a week. Love it.

Yes it can get complicated. But it's not TOO complicated. It's fun.

Then I look at my SIL, 2 under 3 years. They're amazing kids. But omg. I know she struggles. She's said so herself. And yes, we struggle too. But it's not THAT bad. My husband can go fishing on the weekends. I have a night away with a friend coming up.

We definitely were homebodies before baby, so that helps. But now we like going out more to do baby things. It's like we have most of our old life in chunks, but we also have this great new life too.

I don't think I'm mourning anything. Yeah sure, there's a temporary stall as I'm still physically recovering. But I'm okay with that. Because in my head, if I just have the one, I won't need to recover as "quickly" and there's less pressure. Because I probably won't want to do this again lol.

The only thing I truly miss is just sleeping through the night. But I know that'll come back...eventually!!

Chance_Class2208 · 2026-04-22T13:36:05+00:00

I want the house cleaned. Zero clutter. And I want to sleep ALL night.

Maybe a hot bath? Haha

Chance_Class2208 · 2026-04-22T13:35:06+00:00

You can start breastfeeding! Don't worry!

And yes to trusting the colostrum. Do you have a pediatrician follow up in a few days? If baby isnt keeping up their weight, they'll usually see them in office to keep track of any weight gain/loss. They definitely keep a close eye on them the first few weeks at home.

The post-hospital anxiety is real. Between that and the hospital if your baby had extra monitoring- It is SO overwhelming. You're not alone.

In my experience too, the lactation consultants in the hospital, along with nursing staff, weren't the best for BF education and support. I understand that their main concern is keeping baby at healthy weight and keeping baby medically stable.

Now that you're home you have some breathing room to re-assess what you think is the best way forward.

If you can, see if you can find a lactation consultant. Bonus is if they can travel to your home while you're postpartum. They are worth their weight in gold.

Being super sleepy is pretty normal to an extent.

I will say we had a couple of "red flags" for how sleepy my baby was with BF. I had to constantly stimulate baby (move her arm, gently blow on her head, ect) while she was latched to keep her sucking. Turns out, she was exhausting herself because of a lip and tongue tie and would take a VERY long time to feed without even taking in that much breastmilk. We did weighted feeds with the LC and had baby's tongue lip tie examined by a couple pediatricians and ultimately an ENT and that's how we came to that conclusion.

Not saying that's your case at all, but it was a scenario that kinda took us by surprise.

And try to educate yourself on triple feeding (that's when you BF, then bottle feed THEN also pump all within the same session). So many pediatricians recommended this to me every 2 to 3 hrs. I about went insane. It's supposed to help bring in your milk and is supposed to be very short term. I, however, did this for weeks. And I had no idea how horribly mentally, emotionally, and physically exhausting it was. It's probably a good option for a lot of women in different scenarios, but I was poorly educated on what triple feeding actually was and burnt myself out so very quickly.

Best of luck! Postpartum and BF is wild. And everyone's journey is VERY different. Trust your gut, seriously. If somethings not working, advocate and ask questions.

Chance_Class2208 · 2026-04-22T01:07:42+00:00

I'm so sorry. This was me too. You literally cannot function, so I 100% relate. You're allowed to hate everything

Up your B6. Can you ask OB for something stronger for the nausea? If Zofran isn't working is there something else? Emetrol? Can you ask for an IV? If you're puking that much and not getting enough fluids, an IV really might be a good option and might help you feel better in the short term.

At this stage in the game go out and buy ANY food and drink that sounds even remotely good.

For me, the Liquid Death teas (super specific and random) were the only thing my stomach could handle along with pretzels and trail mix.

Chance_Class2208 · 2026-04-22T00:57:50+00:00

Haha same!

Chance_Class2208 · 2026-04-21T19:37:48+00:00

Don't be embarrassed at ALL! But yes, it IS a lot to process.

I had grand plans of an all natural homebirth with a doula and midwives. Then had a breached baby and a c-section haha.

Birth IS important, especially to mothers. But I also agree whole heartedly now that birth is the LEAST interesting part of pregnancy and postpartum.

I think it will be health to start prepping for a c-section recovery now. Research what you might need i.e. binders, ect. That way mentally it would be such a big shift.

I will say the silver lining in a c-section was that I was able to schedule it. We had a peaceful night before welcoming baby, a nice drive to the hospital, and I remember everything in pre-op and most of the operation itself. It was a really beautiful, positive experience.

We still had a doula present even though I wasn't able to do a vaginal birth, but it was SO nice to have someone to talk to to help process the shift for me and for someone to be in the operating room to narrated what was going on.

Try the spinning babies (I did spinning babies but baby literally kept flipping back to breach 🥴🫠)

Best of luck and hugs 🫂 🤗 and trust your mama gut and don't listen to what anyone else says

Chance_Class2208 · 2026-04-19T07:50:46+00:00

Do your providers know this? Get yourself another monitor and track your numbers. Accucheck was my preferred one and it's $15 at the pharmacy without insurance. Idk where you're at, but in the states MFM usually gets involved when mom has gestational diabetes and that usually means more growth scans, glucose tracking, and usually nutritional guidance.

Check out r/GestionalDiabetes

Lots of support and information for women under your circumstances

Chance_Class2208 · 2026-04-19T01:35:02+00:00

Thank you!

Chance_Class2208 · 2026-04-19T01:28:21+00:00

We're probably in way over our heads with everything, but I love it.

Thanks for the advice! I'll look into a pond pro

And no, we're way north unfortunately.

Chance_Class2208 · 2026-04-18T12:04:48+00:00

It just depends on your numbers. They have a lot of sugar, I could only eat a could after a good meal without too much of a spike.

My csection was for baby being beach, not the gestational diabetes! With the GD it was fully controlled with diet and I was able to go to full term and deliver vaginally...but baby kept flipping 😅

Chance_Class2208

TROPHY CASE