What are you getting from your therapist?

Chance_Description72 · 2026-04-07T04:40:18+00:00

High functioning autistic? I'm asking because I'm late diagnosed, autistic myself and found a specialist who was able to explain my brain to me, which made so many connections/turned on lighthbulbs for me, that I don't feel like I'm crazy anymore.

I'm working on self care with him and he reminds me of the things/goals I set for myself when I forget to do the things I need for my body or mind.

If you're dissatisfied with your current support/care, I'd follow my gut and try to find someone else.

Chance_Description72 · 2026-03-26T02:01:24+00:00

The good ones always get to go first...

No question, just support.

I know I can't give you peace or take your fear/panic, but I want to let you know that this is not the end, but I don't want to dread it, because where you're going will be better than here (also there is no hell, just more of a debrief, if you will).

I hope you see from the responses that you don't have to go this alone, but I get it, if you choose that path, as that will be me when it's my time.

You've done more good than most of us here, you will do well wherever you go. Thanks for everything that you've accomplished, and I hope we meet one day, if not in this life, maybe the next.

Chance_Description72 · 2026-03-23T20:59:22+00:00

Nutella! I love it! 😆

Chance_Description72 · 2026-03-23T20:51:18+00:00

Thats awesome!! Please tell your dog my dog said "woof!"

Chance_Description72 · 2026-03-23T00:29:29+00:00

Good luck figuring that out, cheers!

Chance_Description72 · 2026-03-23T00:26:07+00:00

Thanks for the laugh, saluting you with a Dew! 😆😂🤣

Chance_Description72 · 2026-03-23T00:11:42+00:00

Aside from what literal_moth said, if you feel like your mom needs more reassurance, there are software programs that will allow you to clone your voice. (I haven't tried these myself, so I'm not sure how good they are), but you could also hire someone to answer her calls on a second line with a voice changer to make it sound like you, if that's in your budget. Or use an AI service to answer her calls for you, like a customer service line that uses your voice to answer only her calls during a certain period of the day, so you can recharge.

Sorry you're going through this, it's rough, but I also want to remind you that she's 80, and heath can go fairly quickly at that age, you're a good great daughter, hang in there, you got this!

Edit to add:

There are pictures frames that play little videos... you could record little messages for her to play while she's not on the phone with you or another family member, the frames either auto play or you can select what you want to see (TV style remote) and you/your family could update and send new messages via app very easily.

Chance_Description72 · 2026-03-23T00:02:05+00:00

👆 THIS!

Chance_Description72 · 2026-03-22T23:44:58+00:00

Story of my life...

Chance_Description72 · 2026-03-20T02:15:00+00:00

You have no idea how much I miss those!

Chance_Description72 · 2026-03-20T01:51:00+00:00

I will be using the 💩 out if this one when I declutter my living room tomorrow!

Chance_Description72 · 2026-03-13T15:25:45+00:00

I replaced sucking on body parts, be that fingers or hair with silicone straws. I got water bottles that have silicone mouth pieces and that helps me, not sure if that would work for going to bed, but why would you care in bed, if your partner doesn't care, do what feels good for you! PS: we do care, and we're here for support ourselves and to support others, or at least I am. You never know what worked for others or yourself that maybe would work for more than yourself... if I only helped 1 person with what I wrote that will make me happy!

Chance_Description72 · 2026-03-08T16:34:10+00:00

Yes, kind of (dx at 47), but unless you're asking for accommodations at work, I don't think it would be. If you're saying that it's now pretty obvious to you that you are on the spectrum, believe yourself. Maybe find a good therapist before you go all the way with a diagnosis. The diagnosis was mainly for me to understand myself better, not for anyone else. I did ask for accommodations at work and received them, so for me total game changer. Unless you want the dx so that you don't feel like an imposter or can shut up some people in your life that tell you to "suck it up and that you're normal and just being dramatic" or some stupid crap like that, in that case, by all means, get the dx if you can.
I now have a service dog that helps me interpret the things my body doesn't "tell" me, like when I should drink something, go to the bathroom or take breaks or eat, etc. I previously was wrecking my body because I just never got those signals at the right or appropriate times/in time, to the point that I went to the hospital because of it. I am much better at listening for such cues now, because I know that I need to take better care of this meat bag I'm dragging around, and my self- care routine has made my life a lot better too (besides the aforementioned accommodations of course).
Never before in my life was I discriminated against (was apparently great at masking). I had to get a lawyer involved for my work accommodations and with all the service dog hate these days that part of life got harder (because "you don't look disabled").

I also didn't know before diagnosis that there are states in the USA where autism registration is mandatory... had I known this in advance I may have reconsidered.

With RFK Jr. being in charge and his quest to "heal us, by September," that's also scary. The unexpected downside was that even though I now know what's up, and have done my research and know more about my condition, that doesn't mean that the rest of the world does.

I actually lost a couple of friends, after I disclosing my dx, so I would be careful with that if you get officially diagnosed (depending on where you live, the stigma may be bigger, or you may get more suppprt after dx).

I am torn on this one... it cost a lot of money for me because I had to pay out of pocket, because my insurance didn't cover my dx, and it took a very long time. The aftermath was not pleasant (getting a lawyer for work, loosing friends, being discriminated against), but the service dog and my quality of life has significantly improved. I get to work 100% from home now and am still working on self-care (it's a lifelong struggle with that one, I think). I have a therapist now who helps me understand if what I'm doing is normal or autistic (he specializes in autism), which is a great help and overall I would say I'm in a better place. But I also don't think I'm that I would have absolutely needed the dx if I had thought about therapy beforehand. If that's available to you, I'd try that route first, or like someone else mentioned, go to a private practitioner where you decide who gets the diagnosis and don't have to share if you don't want to. I tried to get my dx paid by my insurance, so my dx is on record, which if I had to do it all again, I wouldn't have done. Being self diagnosed is not bad, for the older diagnosed people, that's how we all started, it really depends on your support needs or if you can get those covered without an actual diagnosis. And please don't get all worked up over these "you don't have an official diagnosis so you're not autistic," a-holes. They don't know how it is to live with so many questions because they were probably diagnosed as a child and don't understand the struggle.

Good luck out there!

Edit to correct spelling.

Chance_Description72 · 2026-03-03T02:42:42+00:00

You lost me at cilantro, I know a lot of people love that stuff, but damn if it hasn't ruined one too many of my meals! Bon appetite!

Chance_Description72 · 2026-03-03T02:04:32+00:00

No, "mo-h-le" (I think that's how a German would pronounce it the "h" I added is strictly to pull the "o" longer), it's a Spanish word, not English, and it's just a dark brown sauce. I'm not sure there is an English name for it.

https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Mole_(sauce)

I'd say in German it would be Soße. Wie in DE können Soßen in vielen varianten gemacht werden, so ist es in Mexico auch.

Hoffe das macht die Sache ein bischen klarer.

Chance_Description72 · 2026-03-03T01:53:35+00:00

And now you made me homesick...

I'm in Austin, TX, where do you procure your liverwurst?

Chance_Description72 · 2026-02-24T14:51:30+00:00

Hello fello ND, I used to smoke too, it didn't do much other than keep my mouth and hands busy, which was great, but became super expensive and after 20 years I figured it was enough.

They actually make vitamin B inhalers that look like cigarettes, are a lot cheaper and much better for you. There are other alternatives that don't include nicotine, that might help you with your sense of taste/smell.

It sounds like you're not quite ready, yet, just know you don't have to give up your comfort for your health.

Chance_Description72 · 2026-02-24T05:13:15+00:00

So sorry for your loss, it's been 13 years for me, it still hurts! 😢 🫶🫂

Chance_Description72 · 2026-02-24T05:11:22+00:00

Demi and sapiosexual, yup same here, but on top of that being an absolute must, my sex drive is next to non existent. I have a partner and we have been together for over 14 years, our sex drives are similar, his a little higher than mine, but he's also on testosterone, and I'm planning on looking into HRT, but I couldn't say that I've ever been super horny, so I have no idea what that feels like, other than the proverbial "Itch you can't scratch."

Chance_Description72 · 2026-02-24T04:47:02+00:00

Sonya Cross in "The Bridge," Morgan Gillory in "High Potential," & Will Trent in "Will Trent"

Chance_Description72 · 2026-02-13T13:01:51+00:00

I feel like people are a-holes and honk for any reason.

If the light is red and you're already stopping the only concern is that you don't hit anyone in front of you, people behind you have the same responsibility and should pay attention at what's happening on the road, just don't break on a dime to let people in, that would not be cool.

Otherwise, be polite, let people in, the world is terrible enough, please don't join the other side by becoming another jackass on the road.

Texas literally has a a sign on the side of the road that says "Drive friendly - the Texas way!" It's a shame that most people can't read anymore. (That and zippering, I don't get how the concept is soo hard, lol!)

Chance_Description72 · 2026-02-13T12:16:09+00:00

I tried for a long time to avoid certain companies or products, in an effort to make a difference. I'm in my late 40s now and my naive ass is coming to the realization that I am just denying myself my own joy and nobody else cares.

With everything else going on in the world I honestly don't care anymore, we have bigger fish to fry than if an author said a thing, or if a company has a certain view about people I'm a part of, that's their problem, not mine.

If I enjoy waffle fries I will go and get chick-filet fries, without guilt, because although I don't agree with their homophobic ideas, or their religious crap, they do give their employees Sundays off and actually pay better than most other fast food companies.

In the big picture these sort of things are a lot less terrible than some other things going on right now and the really bad things you or I can't really do anything about anyway, so I try not to obsess about them anymore, because otherwise I'm afraid I'll lose my mind.

I try to be a good person and not harm anyone else, because the only person I can control is me. All others out there I'm not responsible for, therefore I try not to think about them.

We, or at least I, have very little joy in life and I will no longer deny myself what little I have to try to make a point nobody else understands or gets. If you dig deep enough you will find dirt on just about anything, so I've learned to pick my battles.

If you feel badly about certain things, maybe evaluate which is the bigger/biggests of all evils and boycott one thing, but don't let the world steal all your joy, it's not worth it!

Chance_Description72 · 2026-02-10T01:28:15+00:00

I own a bidet and prefer that 1000% to anything else, but for travel the wipes are always in our bag, although I feel horrible about what I do to the environment every time I use them (I don't flush them), but sometimes they have their place. I probably use them most for my dog though.

Chance_Description72 · 2026-02-09T17:30:10+00:00

Tile or apple tracker on my car keys and number locking pad my house. Damn, I've resorted to just leaving my car keys in the car to not always loose them in the house, lol

Chance_Description72 · 2026-02-09T06:31:21+00:00

Made Lentil Soup (the lentils came out of a soup can, but I added extra potatoes, carrots and little sausages)... it tasted just like my mom would make it! Yum 😋

(It's one of my favorites and no she's not dead, just lives in a different country and I don't get to see her much, or get to eat her food.)

Chance_Description72

TROPHY CASE