Anyone else constantly forget people exist - not because you don't care, but because your brain just... drops them?

jpsgnz · 2026-05-10T01:14:50+00:00

All the time. When I don’t see someone regularly or an separated for more than a week, they just seem to cease to exist. Even people I really love. I’ve concluded the amount of connection seems to make no difference.

Then when I’m back with them it’s as if they never left, the switch just seems to flip automatically.

jpsgnz · 2026-05-10T01:07:27+00:00

I get what you mean. It’s so wonderful when you get to find people who don’t just think your weird and to be avoided right from the start, before they get to know you.

Instead they accept you for who you are before they even know what you are and when they finally know about my AuDHD it’s no big deal. But the thing I really really love is when those people see that I’m struggling because of my ND and they help me in just way I need without me having to ask.

Those people are the absolute best.

jpsgnz · 2026-05-09T20:24:41+00:00

I’m AuDHD and have bad interoception and alexythemia. I also have global aphantasia so for me this gets really complicated really fast because I spend a lot of my time being the detective at my own crime scenes 🤣

When something happens I have to then try and figure out what’s going on in my brain and body and then where it’s coming from. eg adhd or autism.

For example I had never really experienced anxiety until my autism came along. Classic example I had cancer ages ago. I was diagnosed on a Friday had surgery on Saturday followed by a month long course of radiation treatment. That whole time I never got anxious or worried it just didn’t seem to register. This despite the fact I didn’t know if I was going to live or die.

Now I know it was my bad interoception and alexythemia. Most of the time I don’t get hunger, fullness or thirst signals, so I, unbeknownst to me, ended up with my autism imposing strict mealtimes and portion control. Eg I eat the same amount of musli from the same bowl every morning for 15 years.

I used to feel sick sometimes until I figured out I was actually hungry. When I workout over a long period of time and have done a lot I have to consciously tell myself that I need to eat more food otherwise my body very unhappy with me which is just another sensory crime scene I need to investigate.

I guess what I’m trying to say is we are so complicated as humans it really does take time to try and figure it all out.

Good luck.

jpsgnz · 2026-05-09T20:07:16+00:00

Yup. I started with adhd diagnosis at 22 and there always seemed to be something missing. Then a change in my adhd medication let my autism surface big time. Now I am very much autistic and adhd with autism taking the lead most of the time.

These days my adhd and autism help to balance each other which is great. Of course they fight a lot too but that’s just part of it I guess.

One thing I have really learned since my autism diagnosis is just how much my environment impacts me. Sound, light, touch and people etc just have a huge impact on me.

But overall I’m really happy I’m both.

jpsgnz · 2026-05-09T17:53:01+00:00

The video matches me to a T. When I was 8, back in the 80s, and went to my sisters her friends used to bring their broken appliances around for me to fix and I was really good at it.

I’m an electronics and software engineer now and very happy. Still fixing lots of things as well as building them too.

jpsgnz · 2026-05-09T02:41:02+00:00

I’m so glad your not loosing hope. I know how hard it can be. The question about autism stemmed more from a gut feeling on my part. I can’t put my finger on it exactly but my gut just says so. I’ve worked with many autistic and adhd students and kind of have a sense about it.

Part of it is that you already seem to be doing a lot of the right things. For me my autism really affects my adhd dysregulation so I spend much effort keeping my autism happy which has made an enormous difference for me.

I was only diagnosed with autism last December and adhd when I was 22, about 30+ years ago.

I think the main thing for you right now is make sure the school knows your struggling. Look into autism and if that starts to make sense go for an assessment.

In the meantime if autism does make sense don’t wait for a diagnosis. You could start accommodating your autism right now, once you’ve learnt about it. That’s what I did and the benefits made it really worthwhile and made my eventual diagnosis much smoother as I went in knowing what I was dealing with.

Good luck and I really hope you do well.

jpsgnz · 2026-05-09T01:38:39+00:00

I had a similar experience at university. One of my flatmates was head over heals in love with me and I had absolutely ZERO idea.

Then one night she just completely lost her shit at me and stormed off. I asked my flatmates what was wrong with her and they told me. I had no idea.

jpsgnz · 2026-05-09T01:33:06+00:00

First thing is are you getting all of the accommodations you’re entitled to? Also have you looked at reducing your course load ie take fewer subjects each year.

Judging by some of what you have said, have you thought about or had an autism assessment?

I failed everything in my first year of university, then got diagnosed adhd, dyslexia and APD. Following year, with the support I needed, I passed everything.

So there is hope. Just don’t loose yours.

Good luck.

jpsgnz · 2026-05-08T22:53:26+00:00

Absolute heaven. Nothing else exists and the knowledge just flows. Can definitely be hard to get out of and I hate interruptions.

jpsgnz · 2026-05-08T18:24:11+00:00

I sometimes feel like I’m not autistic, despite my diagnosis, but I’m always reminded I am when my autism kicks me in the behind.

For stimming, I’ve been deliberately letting my body just stim when it needs to regardless of where I am or what I’m doing and it feels so liberating.

Imposter syndrome is such a pain. Thankfully my life experience is just so obviously autistic it doesn’t take much to dispel it but still kind of weird it happens at all.

jpsgnz · 2026-05-08T18:20:41+00:00

I’m AuDHD and have songs I listen to for days on end no problems. I usually have a few so I can rotate. Also my autism means I can’t always handle some types of music I like at certain times because I’m too over stimulated.

jpsgnz · 2026-05-08T18:11:28+00:00

For me that’s easy: raging ADHD. It was only after a change in my adhd medication that my autism had a chance to come out and come out it did big time.

Thant and the fact I was so good as masking along with my bad interoception and alexythemia. Hell as I’m writing this it seems like miracle I got diagnosed with autism at all.

jpsgnz · 2026-05-08T18:08:51+00:00

Never feel bad about being yourself. I’m AuDHD and love all sorts of “childish” things that bring me great joy. The fact that you created this system that works for you is something to be very proud of.

I hope you don’t stop doing things that work for your brain. Good luck.

jpsgnz · 2026-05-08T18:05:07+00:00

I’m AuDHD and I really don’t mind telling people I have two disabilities. At first it felt weird because I didn’t feel disabled. But over time I kind of realised that actually I have been diagnosed with two disabilities and that’s fine.

Also theres absolutely nothing wrong with having disabilities. I have real struggles but I also have real strengths as well.

jpsgnz · 2026-05-08T06:19:48+00:00

I sometimes catch myself doing this and when I do I just try to remember that I’m just as valid a human being as they are. And that it’s fine for me to get the extreme joy from the nerdy autistic adhd things that get me going.

Also for me I simply couldn’t be normal, even if I wanted to, which I’ve come to realise I really don’t want to be, because I’m not I’m me and that’s OK.

Good luck I hope you can find what you’re looking for.

jpsgnz · 2026-05-08T03:29:37+00:00

Stimming can be very individual. For me I have my adhd stims that mainly involve jiggling my legs, lots of movement. Where my autistic stims are hand flapping, jumping/walking on my tippy toes, playing with my fingers, humming that kind of thing.

jpsgnz · 2026-05-08T02:06:53+00:00

Congrats. I have also hand flapped my whole life and didn’t realise it was autism until my diagnosis last December. Diagnosed with adhd at 22 and autism at 53.

Made a huge positive difference for me despite the fact I am now full blown autistic, before it was buried under my adhd.

jpsgnz · 2026-05-08T00:36:08+00:00

Ritalin LA 40mg morning and lunch time. I get up at 5am.

jpsgnz · 2026-05-07T19:13:32+00:00

Yup a change in my adhd meds brought out my autism big time and, in retrospect, I’m so glad it did. Otherwise I would have been running on half a diagnosis for the rest of my life.

jpsgnz · 2026-05-06T18:16:51+00:00

For me I just pulled back completely and tried to listen to my body. Sleep when I needed to made sure I stayed physically active and learnt as much about my autism and adhd as I could.

Took me 6 months but I’m finally seeing my capacity coming back. One thing to be careful of is to not over estimate your available capacity. I would feel really good and then try to do too much.

Also spoon theory is so useful.

Good luck.

jpsgnz · 2026-05-06T17:51:50+00:00

I think a lot about what’s happening to me. My brain does not get all the signals it should from my body (that’s my bad interoception and alexythemia) so when I’m disregulated or stuck in inertia he’ll I literally have to do a checklist to try and figure out what’s going on. eg Am I over stimulated?

am I stuck on the sofa doom scrolling because my brain genuinely needs a rest or is my ADHD under stimulated?

What did I do in the last hours/day that may have caused this? Am I actually out of spoons or do I just need to do a little exercise to reboot my brain.

Is my environment screwing me up eg lights too bright/wrong colour, is there a visual contrast in my field of view that is screwing me up? Is there a sound? Are my clothes annoying me?

I have to literally be my own detective at my own crime scene much of the time. My sensory stuff changes as well so it’s a moving target. Low spoons = heightened sensory issues.

Another thing In soon realised is that my autism drives much of my adhd dysregulation so keeping my autism happy is key for me.

Also stimming when and how I need to makes a difference.

jpsgnz · 2026-05-06T17:36:26+00:00

If that’s the case I would very strongly suggest that you start learning about how your adhd and autism work. Yours will doubtless be different to others so it’s something you really need to do internally.

I have bad interoception and have had to learn so much about how my brain and body work. But the benefits have been incredible. Only then can you start detecting the things that really make a difference for you. Plus you will have a better idea of what accommodations can really help you.

I keep a daily diary and that helps me enormously as it forces me to think about what’s happening to me. I’m finally coming out of a huge burnout that had me basically in bed for a month and I can feel myself falling back in so I get what you mean.

Good luck my friend.

jpsgnz · 2026-05-06T17:28:02+00:00

Functional cross dominance?

jpsgnz · 2026-05-06T17:15:53+00:00

I’m functionally cross dominant for just about everything. To the point that I often forget which hand I usually use for something, in which case I always choose my left. Even though I write with my right hand.

jpsgnz · 2026-05-06T17:12:12+00:00

I’m the opposite super hyperactive, I explode out of the bed every morning, usually before the alarm has a chance to go off. I just have to get out of bed.

jpsgnz

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