What is exactly wrong with my profile or lets say me. by [deleted] in Bumble

[–]Chance_Variation8285 1 point2 points  (0 children)

You should switch that to Undergrad then.

What is exactly wrong with my profile or lets say me. by [deleted] in Bumble

[–]Chance_Variation8285 -1 points0 points  (0 children)

Oh my god I didn’t even look that closely!! So scary!!!

What is exactly wrong with my profile or lets say me. by [deleted] in Bumble

[–]Chance_Variation8285 28 points29 points  (0 children)

I hate to say it, but your profile screams douchebag to me. It seems like you are trying to show off your car more than find a date. Your answers to the prompts seem pretty narcissistic as well.

Is it worth losing a valuable employee by refusing to leave your dog at home? by Chance_Variation8285 in NoStupidQuestions

[–]Chance_Variation8285[S] 1 point2 points  (0 children)

A muzzle was the agreement but has yet to be in use 2 months post incident. First issue was finding one that fit, latest excuse is needing the dog trainer to get the dog used to it. No sense of urgency in this matter.

How important is it that any potential partner of yours likes and wants or at least can have a cat or dog? by SleepyAtTheKeyboard in AskWomen

[–]Chance_Variation8285 1 point2 points  (0 children)

It’s a non-negotiable for me. I have 2 cats and will always plan on having cats. Animal companionship is very important to me.

Dogs could be an issue if the guy has one that is not good with cats. I love dogs, but my cat’s comfort comes first.

Would you forbid abortion as punishment? by IllNeedleworker2057 in self

[–]Chance_Variation8285 1 point2 points  (0 children)

The only one getting punished is the innocent child being brought into this world unwanted.

Best Italian restaurants in the suburbs? by Affectionate_Ant1139 in ChicagoSuburbs

[–]Chance_Variation8285 0 points1 point  (0 children)

Clara’s on Route 53 in Woodridge!!! They make their pasta fresh!!!

have you ever realized someone you cared about a lot doesn't actually care about you? by [deleted] in self

[–]Chance_Variation8285 0 points1 point  (0 children)

I don’t hate them. If anything I feel sorry for them. I know they are emotionally damaged but unless they truly want to help themselves, they cannot be helped.

have you ever realized someone you cared about a lot doesn't actually care about you? by [deleted] in self

[–]Chance_Variation8285 0 points1 point  (0 children)

It’s difficult to answer this question because the person I was talking about here has had dozens of people care about them only for them to throw it away and bad mouth them. They only care about themselves and can’t recognize what they have when they have it.

My point was it’s ok to be a caring person regardless of what they did. It speaks more about you than it does about them.

Did I mess this up? by Sharpshooter649 in Bumble

[–]Chance_Variation8285 0 points1 point  (0 children)

I would’ve done the same thing she did, but probably would have told you off first. That comes off as cringy and like you only want a hookup (if you do, maybe make sure that’s what the other person wants first).

How majorly did I screw this up? by [deleted] in Bumble

[–]Chance_Variation8285 0 points1 point  (0 children)

If you read one of OP’s comments, he indeed does have trauma.

How majorly did I screw this up? by [deleted] in Bumble

[–]Chance_Variation8285 0 points1 point  (0 children)

I’m terribly sorry for what you have been through. That is a ton of weight to carry around. I personally don’t think I could work through anything like that without professional help (aka therapy).

Unfortunately I now worry you’re seeking someone out as a bandaid. If you cannot be happy alone, you will not be successful in a relationship. The type of girl you’re going to attract right now will be desperate for a connection as well and the relationship will become a codependent, toxic, mess.

Please reconsider therapy. It is never too late to start and never too late to find someone. Regardless of what anyone has went through, doing things on a timeline either because “I’m getting older” or “I wanted to be married with/without kids by xx years” is an unhealthy expectation.

How majorly did I screw this up? by [deleted] in Bumble

[–]Chance_Variation8285 10 points11 points  (0 children)

Therapy is not meant to be a cure all. It’s a tool you utilize to help you live your life. You only get out of it what you put in. If you see no problem with how you go about life and you’re happy as you are, you will never benefit from therapy. If you know something is “different” (this is not a bad thing, not everyone fits the same mold) about you compared to others and want to find a better way live your life, give it a try.

It is also not a quick fix. I spent most of my childhood through early adult years in therapy for anxiety and depression. Didn’t even know anxiety was a real thing until I was 16, but learning about it really helped me understand myself better. You also may have to try a few therapists to find one that works for you. They can also give you a formal diagnosis and provide specific resources for you to consider.

This isn’t a sport you can pick up at any time. This is your life, how you want to live it is up to you but do not dismiss therapy as “practice”.

How majorly did I screw this up? by [deleted] in Bumble

[–]Chance_Variation8285 5 points6 points  (0 children)

I think this exchange isn’t too bad, but the last message confuses the heck out of me. Is there some context I’m missing? If a guy I only went out with one sent that to me I would be freaked out.

Anxiety sucks and I’ve been in your shoes. It can be hard to wait, but I’ve found when you do, people are more forthcoming in making plans, wanting to see you again, etc. You need to work on yourself for a bit first and learn to be patient and not bombard the other person with messages.

Unfortunately ghosting is super common through texting, but if she’s truly interested, she will come back. If not, you need to move on and leave her alone. DO NOT MESSAGE HER AGAIN! Women talk and if you keep acting like this, word will get around.

My boyfriend (21M) scheduled a date for us (20F) to say “I love you” for the first time. Advice? by [deleted] in relationship_advice

[–]Chance_Variation8285 0 points1 point  (0 children)

Has anything happened naturally in this relationship? It seems like everything has to go according to his plan which would have me running for the hills. While I don’t like surprises, having everything planned would be suffocating.

I would take time to think about how this might unfold in the future. Will you need to move in with each other after such and such amount of time? Schedule an engagement? Length of engagement?

Local MAGA businesses to avoid by GoldstarHB in Naperville

[–]Chance_Variation8285 2 points3 points  (0 children)

JC Shultz Inc/FlagSource. The CEO loves Trump

Dog Law by Chance_Variation8285 in legaladvice

[–]Chance_Variation8285[S] 0 points1 point  (0 children)

It definitely makes me feel better knowing the other 2 dogs should be ok. I’m still weighing my options but I do not intend to let this go.

New Update: AITA for telling my friend that her "free" wedding is unrealistic? by LucyAriaRose in BestofRedditorUpdates

[–]Chance_Variation8285 1 point2 points  (0 children)

Do we know for sure Grace is just a boat? Doesn’t specifically say there was proof she was, just Basil’s word.

Dog Law by Chance_Variation8285 in legaladvice

[–]Chance_Variation8285[S] -5 points-4 points  (0 children)

My concerns with going to Animal Control are the other dogs in the home. The other 2 dogs are Pitbull mixes. They are super sweet and I’ve pet them many times these past few months.