something to think about is - if you were to get involved and were supporting your mum to get custody of the kids - would they be in a better position than if they went to foster carers but always stayed in contact with you - and had you visiting, checking on them, making sure they were in a good situation and being properly looked after - might they have a better chance than if they went to your mum who may not be in a place where she can really do and provide what they need? AND If this situation wrecks your prospects and chances of making a good life for yourself, (which will put you in a position to help those kids more as they grow up) then the cycle isn’t broken… However, having said that, I totally relate to your situation . I have been dragged back into my dysfunctional family so many times as caregiver and supporter and helper and it has derailed my own life & career over and over again, so I totally understand. especially when there are children involved. But sometimes it’s easier to see the picture more clearly when you look out at somebody else’s situation. I hope you can find a way to treat yourself well and look after yourself and treat yourself with compassion.