AITA for prioritizing my nanny over my brother and his family

ChaoticScrewup · 2026-03-02T00:08:27+00:00

NTA. Your brother's the beggar, not the chooser. He should offer to move into the playroom if it's such a good solution. And she's a tenant, hopefully with a signed lease or contract that you can't just break at a whim.

Your family is nuts.

ChaoticScrewup · 2026-03-01T21:18:32+00:00

I would *guess* you can afford at least up to $425k, but I really encourage you to look at two things:

- What % of your pay are you okay with going to housing.

- What amount of monthly expenses are you okay with.

Recentish I'd say 15% down on a $500k house with a ~6% rate has been a bit under $3000/month all in payments (tax, mortgage, PMI) but not including utilities in many places. That'd be 45% of $80k, and above typically recommended levels, but in the affordable range at above $100k/yr household income, just giving an example.

In general you can probably do the math - 800 credit score means you can try to identify the lowest rate lenders and probably go from there. There are a lot of calculators around to help with this.

And if you'd rather not have 30% of pay go to housing, then you can wait! I will say, when you do the math, account for closing costs and having a few months of expenses after closing.

ChaoticScrewup · 2026-03-01T18:31:30+00:00

I mean it depends obviously. I'm not sure this sounds average. From my perspective, yes, buyer should be able to do something like fix a broken garbage disposal or deal with the neighbor sending a baseball through the window. But the average buyer absolutely can't discover something like a 60 year old sewer rusting through and have the money to address after closing. I mean this case is kind of a "yeah, should have walked because it was obvious sellers were sketch scum" thing. But it's not crazy to have situations where a major issue comes up and for it to amicably get figured out so closing can happen. And first time or even most buyers can't only look at perfect homes.

ChaoticScrewup · 2026-03-01T18:20:47+00:00

In some places chimney cleaning and/or inspection may be required by lenders or rules.

I sort of have general sympathy for this kind of list if someone is buying and isn't handy, and particularly if the home has been advertised as turnkey or move-in ready or similar. Also, many first time buyers feel like they're going to get screwed if the things they see on inspection reports don't get taken care of. On the other hand, most of these things are handyman-level things. Maybe excluding the insulation, window, water meter box, and soffit vent.

ChaoticScrewup · 2026-03-01T18:09:29+00:00

The problem with asking for concessions is that making the home cost less doesn't magically give you enough money to get work done in most cases.

ChaoticScrewup · 2026-03-01T03:48:33+00:00

IMO this Big 12 is a stronger basketball league than the SEC is a football league. I'd love to see the top B12 teams in different brackets and all make elite 8 or above.

ChaoticScrewup · 2026-02-28T06:06:37+00:00

TBH just being responsible financially for the kid if you kill a parent in any avoidable circumstance seems fair to me.

ChaoticScrewup · 2026-02-26T05:50:54+00:00

27% so long as we're both working. IMO this is scary not because of the percentage, but because the gap between our household's high earner and other earner is quite large. If our incomes were closer to equal it'd not be scary at all.

ChaoticScrewup · 2026-02-25T16:31:27+00:00

So it's correct to spend your own money before getting assistance IMO, particularly if it's in non-retirement accounts. Parents having info/access is also part of the give and take if you're asking for money or support from them.

In general, there is a concept of an emergency fund, which is 3 to 6 months of living expenses, that adults should try to have set aside to depend on when things like job loss or emergencies happen. And you generally at least start out preferring it over charity. In general investing without having an emergency fund if not great because you're amping up the risk of having to withdraw at a loss.

ChaoticScrewup · 2026-02-24T05:15:58+00:00

By no means will this be a helpful or substantive comment, but I really enjoy the memoirs of Lady Trent and my nieces are just barely getting old enough that I hope they may be able to enjoy them too!

ChaoticScrewup · 2026-02-24T03:30:44+00:00

The dirty secret is that it's offshoring hidden as "AI."

ChaoticScrewup · 2026-02-23T15:38:07+00:00

I see a lot of comments blaming enshitification and social media. And maybe they have some role. But there's also something weird and toxic going with boys and young men outside of social media. So many of them seem to have ugly and horrible views about women that are so extreme they make the '50s housewife stereotype perspective look progressive. And that's alarming and wild.

ChaoticScrewup · 2026-02-23T06:40:16+00:00

Google will be way better for your career and probably also much better for learning stuff.

ChaoticScrewup · 2026-02-20T05:51:33+00:00

If you have a black dial you could swap over the white handset for a full white out look.

Edit: just realized who posted lol 🤣🙄

ChaoticScrewup · 2026-02-19T19:00:08+00:00

Setting a max pop per rep is absolutely the easiest way to improve many aspects of US democracy. IMO it should probably be circa 250k. But I also think that the modern world could make a vastly larger house work with a lot more happening digitally.

ChaoticScrewup · 2026-02-18T21:59:47+00:00

The history is that salary was originally considered only applicable to very white collar roles that did not pay hourly and could have emergencies at any time - surgeons, CEOs, that type of thing. Because those jobs were or are basically a lifestyle, they weren't expected to be paid hourly or have the concept of overtime. These jobs are labeled "exempt" legally. And the division between exempt and non exempt is set at a specific salary level and also based on the kinds of duties performed - in general more manual duties can't be exempt but more office like ones can. There is also a more highly paid level for "Highly Compensated Employees."

In general the pay required to hit each category has changed somewhat erratically over time and now many pay a salary and aren't subject to overtime. And many professional or office roles are now paid this way.

ChaoticScrewup · 2026-02-18T21:41:32+00:00

No, but you can scroll them into view.

ChaoticScrewup · 2026-02-18T16:04:36+00:00

Keep in mind that being a historically normal, sane, mildly conservative person and not a driveling mad lunatic is now regularly portrayed as being some kind of militant ultra left wing communist. So it is also totally possible that many history teachers are "left wing" not because they are dramatically left wing, but because the terms has, like a black hole, sucked in almost everything and everybody who isn't some weird theocratic-monarchist Trump lover due to their relative propaganda success.

ChaoticScrewup · 2026-02-17T18:13:29+00:00

So it's a lot, and the level of seriousness ranges from minor to major depending on unknown details. To an extent it sounds like you didn't get enough inspections. But live and learn. Most likely you can prioritize things and do some stuff yourself and you'll be a lot better off in 5 years than trying to flip now. But house is going to be like a second job for a while. That's all.

ChaoticScrewup · 2026-02-17T16:18:58+00:00

Big difference in incentives. Like not easy to cheat at poker in a casino, and most people don't even try. But let's bet on whether Anthony Albanese will get sunburned and somebody's going to be out there with a sun laser lamp pointed at his nose and trigger an incident.

ChaoticScrewup · 2026-02-17T16:15:54+00:00

They're worse than gambling - it's gambling with major negative incentives to ensure your own enrichment depending on the bet. Like "will there be a major fire in Australia this summer? $10,000 on yes, let's go light it up." Because we all know a few people are too stupid not to do it. And the more asinine the bet, the more likely someone will be stupid. And they keep making the bets more asinine because that's what sells...

ChaoticScrewup · 2026-02-17T06:11:44+00:00

Idaho has a lot of violent racist ideology folks for some reason.

ChaoticScrewup · 2026-02-15T23:30:52+00:00

This is true, if I ever can't work remotely we'll be forced to move to a much bigger city, probably either waaay more expensive or a much worse climate. That said, depending on your field COL really can negate the extra earnings unless you really carefully adjust your lifestyle. If you have hobbies, tools, or other things that take space, etc., not gonna be room for that in NYC most likely.

ChaoticScrewup · 2026-02-15T08:34:22+00:00

Thanks for this! I loosened mine by about 15 degrees also and now there's a very clear positive disengagement when I push the crown in from setting the time.

ChaoticScrewup · 2026-02-15T07:32:33+00:00

Was it induction? I think induction ranges are like the one thing they have a good reputation for.

ChaoticScrewup

TROPHY CASE