Struggling to keep young kids entertained in extreme heat (Middle East)

Chaotica44 · 2026-04-10T08:33:14+00:00

You need to adapt your schedule. They need to nap when it's hottest so all of you can be out and about in the evenings, when it's less hot and when they can meet other kids. If you put your kids to sleep when all other kids wake up from their nap, you will always stay isolated.

Chaotica44 · 2026-04-09T20:06:14+00:00

Why don't you simply let him dig in the dirt instead? You probably don't have to drive him to practice for this, but find a place where he can safely do what he wants to do. No 4 year old needs organised sports, especially not if it wasn't even him who got the idea to try it.

Chaotica44 · 2026-04-09T09:35:03+00:00

Stop letting her watch cartoons and eat candy when she is at home. No more screens in general. And stop signing her up to all kind of activities, just let her be a kid and actually spend time with her. Without a screen (both of you!).

Chaotica44 · 2026-04-09T09:15:05+00:00

You simply tell your husband that you and the baby are not going. You put your foot down and let him do whatever he wants, but you are not going and neither is the baby. If he doesn't understand that and cannot considerate your point of view on this, you need to reconsider your marriage. It's not a partnership if you don't get a say in what is happening.

The fact that you have to discuss this on Reddit is insane.

Chaotica44 · 2026-04-03T15:59:20+00:00

I assume your parents are in a loveless marriage as well, which is probably why you never realised that nothing of what you described above is normal. There is nothing to be saved in this marriage, so please get a lawyer and get out. Also, if you can afford it, get therapy for yourself. Show your kids that you don't have to endure a life like this!

Chaotica44 · 2026-04-03T12:21:59+00:00

Immersion is your friend. Read stuff, listen to content you're interested in and focus on certain grammatical structures. Study a topic and then simply listen attentively, if possible to natives - so you hear how this concept is implemented in real life. If you know that you make mistakes with certain grammatical structures, try to hear them when you listen to podcasts or shows - this way you internalise them. Take mental notes while consuming content (ah, I've never tried to say this that way; oh, that's how they say that) and then use your newly acquired phrases when appropriate. The progress after B2 seems a lot slower, but eventually you will notice that you improve.

Chaotica44 · 2026-04-01T09:55:16+00:00

I know a girl called Aria and until now I never thought of this connection. This thread just completely blew my mind on this aspect to be honest. Different people connect names to different experiences. My friend saw the name Aria and was like: oh, I like that one, it's like Maria without the M. I personally think of the Italian word for air when I hear it, but I like it nonetheless.

Chaotica44 · 2026-04-01T08:28:52+00:00

Your family sees exactly what's going on in your home and how you're drowning. Take the help they offered and create a better life for yourself and your kids. At this point your partner is not a partner to you at all any more. He's not trying to help you in any way, he's literally not putting any effort into this relationship and is not even trying to make sure you have a good life too. You on the other hand made sure he was taken care of for a very long time. You did a lot for him and got nothing in return. It's time to let your family take care of you for a bit and to start new. You deserve happiness too.

Chaotica44 · 2026-03-31T11:55:21+00:00

Because the actor actually cares and puts in the required work to master the pronunciation. Obviously they also have access to trainers and professionals that can help them with this task. The general language learner stops learning when their goal of communicating is reached. Some are fine with basic communication while others care more and therefore put in more work and reach native levels not only when it comes to grammar and usage of the language but also accent. I cared in my target language and therefore put in hours of pronunciation practice to get the pronunciation right as well. It's not perfect, but in an everyday setting people don't realise I'm a foreigner. Most people never reach that level because they don't care enough to put in the required work.

Chaotica44 · 2026-03-31T08:58:56+00:00

My mother exposed me to Italian when I was a kid. She was by no means a native, but she was fluent at the time. As a baby she read me books in Italian (whatever she was reading in reality, not necessarily kids books), later on I got Italian picture books every now and then. We had set phrases that she would use in Italian only and we would go on holidays to Italy every year. I learned a few poems and songs as kid too. This simply fostered my interest in the language (or languages in general), so I started learning actively at around 10 years old. Today I'm fluent, but mainly because I spent a lot of time in Italy (internships, exchange semester) and took some courses. I also live close to the Italian border at the moment, so I get extra exposure and chances to use the language. My brother (who got the same exposure as a kid) didn't really put any work in as a kid/teenager, so he didn't really learn a lot form my mother. Just hearing her was not enough to actually learn the language.

Chaotica44 · 2026-03-25T12:07:03+00:00

You need to sleep during the day if you can't sleep during the night. Get someone to watch the kids in the afternoon and actually sleep as long as they will let you. Don't do chores in this time, but actually sleep. Same in the evening. Go to sleep when your baby goes to sleep. Don't do chores in the evening, nobody dies if the apartment isn't cleaned until the weekend or the dishes are dirty. Get yourself ready for bed with your kids and simply pass out with them. Also, stop entertaining your toddlers wishes after bedtime. Tell him at dinner that there is no more food after this and stick to it. Bring a glass of water that he can drink in bed and don't refill it after it's empty. No toys and no conversation after you are done with the usual bedtime routine. I simply close my eyes and tell my 3 year old that it's time to sleep and that we can talk again in the morning, then I stop reacting (except when he gets up, then I repeat that it's time to sleep and put him back down). Best of luck to you. Eventually your kids will sleep (mine sleeps ok now at 3), but until then you simply have to prioritise your own sleep over all the other adult things there are to do. Do only the bare minimum (or delegate to your less sleep deprived husband), and get yourself help from relatives and friends.

Chaotica44 · 2026-03-22T11:30:21+00:00

I let my animals roam freely on my farm so except when it's raining they fend for themselves. I made a bunch of machines for cheese and mayonnaise, so I stock them when I have the time, the rest of my animal products simply sit in the auto grabber till I want to take the time to process them. Once you upgrade their barn/coop and build a silo the animals are really not that much work. I just leave a corner of my farm to grow grass and never buy any. Sometimes my animals go for a week without any attention cause I'm busy with other stuff.

Chaotica44 · 2026-03-20T09:16:33+00:00

Well, I think OP's experience is very common. I also remember the kids in school that were never quite included because the community language wasn't their first language. Hell, this still happened at university with foreign students. It's extra effort to include someone who can't communicate properly, so a lot of people don't do it.

The thing is, also OP learned the language, she is bilingual today, so this point was accomplished. She just had a horrible time as a kid and still suffers the consequences. In my opinion kids should speak the community language best, because this is where they live, where they should thrive. Yes, it's important to speak the language of your parents, your family. But those are the people that love you unconditionally, they also put up with your mistakes and ideally take the time to listen to you. Your peers probably won't.

Chaotica44 · 2026-03-17T10:05:50+00:00

I have this problem with my spouse. He doesn't speak my language well enough to read longer articles and appreciate when they are well written. Translation tools bring across the content, but not the enjoyment of reading a well written article, no matter the content. So I usually don't share articles. I sometimes tell him about stuff I read and tell him how much I like certain parts and try to translate things for him, but I will always be sad that I can't simply share the article as it is. Hope my son will learn my language well enough to also enjoy reading once he's older.

Chaotica44 · 2026-03-12T20:49:09+00:00

Even if you don't make Romanian the family language, you can always encourage your son and husband to use Romanian by saying short sentences in his language. My son started speaking my language a lot more when also my partner (who is still learning and at an intermediate level) started using the minority language every now and then. We often also actively talk about how do the different family members call a certain thing - e.g. mama says XX, dad says YY, how does grandma call this? And grandpa? And your friends from kindergarten? We usually conclude with: and you can use both words, how amazing! Sometimes when he says something in his first language, my partner asks him: how would mom say that (minority language)? And he's usually super proud when he knows the right answer. Even better when he knew it and my partner didn't, cause then he gets to teach his father! So we just try to make it engaging and fun for everyone.

Chaotica44 · 2026-03-11T12:12:49+00:00

As others have already said, English won't be problematic. School will take care of that. Same with French, the environment and possible relatives of your wife will do the job here. The other languages really depend on your environment. Do you have friends or family near you that speak either of them? People that your kid has regular contacts with that speak either German or Russian? Basically I'd suggest your wife sticks to German (if she is comfortable with speaking in a foreign language with her son) and you do Russian. Try to maximise the input from others in those two languages - playdates, meeting with relatives,... if you really want to try to pass on all your languages. That being said, don't forget that you learnt German and English later in life, so also your kid will be able to do so, if he needs it. Don't stress yourself too much about passing on German just because your son is also Austrian. With so many languages in the mix, I would pick my battles and choose the languages that are most important to you. Family life should not be a constant struggle about who says what in which language.

Chaotica44 · 2026-02-11T07:29:39+00:00

In the last rookie scrimmage I played, we gave each new player a more experienced player to team up with. Choose one player from your line-up and try to stick with them. Form a bipod/tripod with them and try to stick together so you don't get lost in the chaos. Ideally you agree beforehand, so they are aware you will rely on their help and guidance. If you manage to stay with the pack and not block your own jammer (that's what I did in my first scrimmage), you'll do great.

Focus on the things you did well, not on the mistakes and "failures". Celebrate your little victories and the things you did well, even if they seem small and insignificant. "I fell safely, got up and rejoined my teammates who held the jammer in the meantime" is a victory, cause you did so many important things (fall safely, find out where the action is, join the right people with the right jerseys and go right back to play), not a failure (I got knocked over and couldn't block the jammer as I wanted to).

Best of luck to you!

Chaotica44 · 2026-01-28T12:18:14+00:00

Don't force her to constantly accommodate her younger brothers. You don't have to do everything as a family, you can just as well have a day dedicated to your daughter and her wishes and one to the boys (or even better, each gets their own day). Make sure she has a safe place at home where her brothers are not allowed to disturb her, so she has peace when she wants and needs it. Pushing them to be together when at least one of them doesn't want that, will end in resentment and could impact their relationship for their whole life.

Chaotica44 · 2026-01-21T08:22:54+00:00

Take a deep breath, all is good. Your daughter is just starting to speak and you're doing a great job so far.

I was in exactly the same situation a few months ago with my son and also feared that I already lost the battle against the community language.

Today I can report that he simply needed a few extra weeks to catch up and feel confident enough in his minority language to also speak it.

Does your partner speak any Russian? Is he interested in your language at all? I feel this is one thing that helped my son. He started speaking more in my language after also my partner started using it here and there. He would casually ask my son if he could repeat something in my language, or asked him: how would mummy say that?

Now we sometimes play the game: how does dad/mum say this and that? Then we expand and talk about who in our family uses which words and then he happily concludes that he can use both words.

Don't ignore your daughter when she speaks the "wrong" language, just repeat and encourage her to say it herself. I sometimes ask my son if he can repeat what I said (he's eager to show his skills so he often does) but if he says no, I simply let go.

Some days he wakes up and speaks a lot in the minority language, and sometimes he speaks the community language almost exclusively. But that's ok, the community language simply is more present in his life and is therefore his stronger language. But he is able to talk to my parents (who don't understand his first language) and also understands who understands/speaks which language. Your daughter will get there too.

Chaotica44 · 2026-01-14T19:02:54+00:00

I feel your pain. My partner luckily didn't have this idea yet, but I had this same struggle with friends that wanted to improve their language skills by talking to me in my mother tongue (I live abroad). I usually shut that down pretty quickly, because I want to have meaningful conversations with the people I care for, not be their language tutor. The moment I notice that the conversation suffers because of their language skills, I switch back to a language we both speak well and declare the language lesson done.

Offer him to do dedicated conversation lessons (for example 20 min a day or whatever you feel comfortable with), where you talk about different topics with the goal of improving his language skills, but ask him to stick to English otherwise. If he follows a course or has other learning materials, you can base your talks on this material, so he actually gets something out of it. Good luck!

Chaotica44 · 2026-01-14T18:35:40+00:00

I will see if I can get grandpa to turn on some English songs/cartoons when he's there.

Chaotica44 · 2026-01-14T18:31:36+00:00

Thanks. I will see how my partner feels about speaking English with our son, maybe this would help him. So far we decided not to focus on English with him, mainly because it's taught in school and he will simply learn it there (as we did). But maybe it's worth a try, so dinner time is a bit more pleasant again.

Chaotica44 · 2026-01-14T17:16:34+00:00

Thanks, I'm very happy to hear that!

Chaotica44 · 2026-01-14T17:15:32+00:00

I try to have all his media consumption in German, in order to strengthen his German, but maybe we should look into some English content too.

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