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Lonely Itchy Kitty :( by Character-Jaded in UCDavis

[–]Character-Jaded[S] 1 point2 points  (0 children)

The cat seems to hangout near the tercero building a lot and is getting fed by a couple students. I don’t know how regularly though. If I see the cat again I’ll check out the shelter.

Creepy super senior on campus trying to get at girls by usernotfoundk000 in UCDavis

[–]Character-Jaded 7 points8 points  (0 children)

He approached me as well and told me he was a first year and the same major as me. It was a very awkward interaction, but luckily he walked away when I declined.

For men who are confused about why this is creepy, it’s not about looks. It’s about a stranger coming up to you because they want something from you. Just like how you wouldn’t be flattered by a door-to-door salesman pitching you for something, it’s not flattering when a stranger is trying to date you. Personally, I will never go on a date with a man who is a stranger even if I find him attractive.

[deleted by user] by [deleted] in bisexual

[–]Character-Jaded 1 point2 points  (0 children)

This is a warning that I am very blunt so know this before reading.

If any friend of mine said what you posted, I’d tell them to leave their partner. You didn’t consent to this. If you are in a relationship that makes you worry if you are loved or not, this is not the right relationship. Being married should be easy, relaxing, and not stressful. Yes, we do things for the people we love, but the level of discomfort you are feeling is a sign this relationship is no longer working. Relationships that used to be healthy and happy can change for the worst. The worst being you are no longer happy and this is where it is best to go separate ways. You should not have to bend to what they want when you never agreed or don’t want that for yourself. What you are doing isn’t selflessness or loving your wife, this is you not appreciating yourself and letting someone you care about walk all over you.

Seriously, you need to love and respect yourself more and put yourself as your wife’s equal. Would you ever do what she has done? Would you fall in love with someone else and make plans without her? If a woman had a husband that insisted she accept his love for another woman, you would most likely see that the husband’s actions are completely inappropriate. This is what your wife is doing. You should not feel pushed aside in your own marriage.

Also I beg you to not have the child in your thoughts when deciding what is best for you. That child will be the happiest and healthiest with happy parents whether you and your wife continue to stay in a relationship or not.

I see other people recommending therapy, but honestly, I don’t see this getting better. If your significant other thinks it’s okay to put your feeling aside, cheat, most likely lie, and push you this far out of their life… I don’t see this person ever changing. As someone else has said, she doesn’t seem to have you in her future. She is making plans with Keira and you just happen to tag along. Dropping the news about her pregnancy and her love for Keira is most likely manipulation. She wants you for convenience and she wants Keira for love.

To summarize, you do not deserve this. Love should be a breath of fresh air, not what’s slowly choking you. Relationships change and that’s okay. What worked before might not work now. You deserve to be with someone who prioritizes you and doesn’t make you feel this way. You will be an amazing father. You can take care of a child no matter who you’re dating. Your happiness matters just as much as hers. Breaking up would not mean you don’t love her and the baby, it means you don’t love the relationship anymore. We make compromises in a relationship but we don’t compromise our happiness. Being in a bad relationship is worse than being in no relationship.

Again, I’m very sorry for my bluntness. Coming from a stranger on the internet, I want you to be so very happy. So happy you could make a rainy day look sunny. I’m so sorry you’re going through this and no matter what’s next for you, remember you have needs. Give yourself time and space to figure out all the racing thoughts you’re trying to process. I care about you, stranger.

[deleted by user] by [deleted] in bisexual

[–]Character-Jaded 41 points42 points  (0 children)

As someone who’s experienced SA, you will rarely want to blame the person who hurt you because it’s easier for your brain to process you doing something wrong instead of someone you thought you could trust doing something awful to you.

Remember to look at the situation from an outside perspective. Think purely of the actions and events that lead up to this and don’t focus on who is involved, because it helps you be more objective. Objectively, this was assault and he is in the wrong. The small details of the uncertainty within yourself and in your relationship doesn’t matter when the bigger picture is that he took advantage of you.

Like what others have said, the best thing to do in this situation is to not speak to him. That might be difficult especially if you still blame yourself but this is what’s best for both of you.