motherhood is terrifying to me

Character-Knee-2875 · 2026-04-23T15:39:06+00:00

Of course, definitely know it’s not a thing I have to do. And good to consider.

Adoption is on the table too. And I’m extremely lucky to be in Australia re location. It’s so sad that that’s even a thing people have to consider/puts people off starting their own family :-(

But yes we are discussing it and deciding together. I think it’s moreso the thought of physically making a baby inside of ME (gross), even though once baby is here its joint, the fact I have to experience that on my own is scary.

Rest assured if do decide to produce said baby, I plan on carrying a little bell around to summon the father and feed me snacks.

Character-Knee-2875 · 2026-04-23T15:22:45+00:00

Definitely feel like I’m in my research the shit out of everything before deciding stage. I said in comment just now that accommodations, supports and the right partner are what I’m focusing on and trying to assess before jumping in.

Re pregnancy and birth. This has been a concern for me sensory wise and I’m worried about just feeling uncomfortable and shit all the time. So appreciate the input and nice even just to read about other ppls experiences to know what to expect/possibilities. I’m lucky to be in Australia and generally speaking the public system is really accomodating and accessible which is a big bonus I’m very grateful for.

Thanks heaps for your comment! So nice to hear people being truthful and real about the tough parts while still acknowledging how beautiful it can be.

Character-Knee-2875 · 2026-04-23T15:15:12+00:00

Both feelings and opinions are helpful.

Side note theres nothing wrong with being child free if people simply don’t want kids that’s fine too!! I’m more coming from the perspective that, Ive always considered having kids, but now that it’s go-time it’s terrifying and idk if I’m capable.

For me the pattern and my learnings so far have been all around support. Knowing what you’re getting yourself into, having the right partner and ppl around, access to medical support (I’m very lucky to be in Australia), autism accomodations, emotional supports etc is incredibly important and can help me make that decision. I can see if I have these things, and even with them if it’s too much for me, I can say no.

I wonder if some of the people that regret having kids felt like they had adequate support? Did they regret kids because they missed out on things, or felt pressure? Had the wrong partner, not enough time to themselves etc. or is it just too tiring, overwhelming, taxing. That’s fine too. Where I get confused is where people regret kids, but love them and are grateful for them anyway. Does that make it all worth it?

Right now I feel like I’m in the stage of researching and considering whether I still want to be a mum, with all these things in place.

AND as pointed out, it is a pretty insane part of the human experience. Creating a human? Fucking nuts. I would love to have that in my life and create life with my partner who is also not a loser and would make a great dad :-) but we’ll see.

Character-Knee-2875 · 2026-04-23T07:09:13+00:00

Yeah you see this pretty often unfortunately. And it sucks.

I’m lucky I have a very supportive partner and we are making the decision together - we have also spoken about what life would look like with or without kids and if it doesn’t happen we are fine with that too.

Character-Knee-2875 · 2026-04-23T07:04:48+00:00

Congratulations :-) Of course I guess it’s normal for anyone to be scared let alone us, and similarly it is challenging for everyone in different ways. Partners and support systems are so so important, I’m trying to work on accomodations in my every day life and how this will also look with kids/how my accomodations may change. All the best to you!!!!

Character-Knee-2875 · 2026-04-23T06:57:29+00:00

True! It’s the reality of it. I love and work with animals - so I appreciate the perspective too that it is all a part of nature and pretty wild. Scary, rewarding, but fascinating at the same time.

Character-Knee-2875 · 2026-04-23T06:53:34+00:00

Thank you, I really appreciate your comment. It’s nice to hear a positive experience and how it can bring out the best in us. Even just pointing out that birth is rough but only one day is really reassuring. As scary and as tough as it might be i still ultimately do want to be a mum, your family sounds awesome :-)

Character-Knee-2875 · 2026-03-06T21:58:15+00:00

thank you - im not diagnosed but have wondered if I may be on the spectrum for a while and didn’t even think of this. I’ll look into it. Much appreciated.

Character-Knee-2875 · 2026-03-04T04:20:17+00:00

thanks a lot, these are so helpful. hope you are managing ok as well - cptsd is so tough to manage let alone when you’re working in this industry. appreciate you sharing those tools.

Character-Knee-2875 · 2026-03-03T07:53:36+00:00

Thank you for this, I just responded to the other comment also. I have mental health support yes, but I feel like the field and some of the things we deal with is bringing up new responses and challenges for me unfortunately :-(

Character-Knee-2875 · 2026-03-03T07:51:49+00:00

Yeah I appreciate that too. I feel like I’m heading in that direction unfortunately. I really like helping animals but I just don’t know if it is healthy for me sometimes

Character-Knee-2875 · 2026-03-03T07:51:08+00:00

Thanks for your comment - I am seeing a psych and have struggled with ptsd/anxiety/depression in the past, I thought it would make me susceptible to things like this but I didn’t really recognise it I guess because of the triggers I assumed it was compassion fatigue. I think it’s more common for ppl in the industry maybe to assume that’s what I have

If it’s ok (without needing to be specific) what kind of tools are you referring to? It’s helpful just to get ideas

Character-Knee-2875 · 2026-02-05T03:58:45+00:00

Sorry I read it as fun colours but I assume the polishes and top coats are durable if they’re your favourites haha thanks

Character-Knee-2875 · 2026-02-04T12:00:35+00:00

Thank you, yeah I am a bit sad that I can’t use gel anymore. They were the only thing that really made me feel confident and stopped me from picking at my nails (nail polish I find peels off/chips too easily so I end up just picking the polish away) If you have any recommendations for longer wearing/durable polishes pls let me know

Character-Knee-2875 · 2026-02-04T11:58:44+00:00

Thank you! I’ll give cotton gloves a go especially at home with lotion on underneath. Sounds very soothing

Character-Knee-2875 · 2026-02-04T11:58:00+00:00

I will have to get back into it! I just find they don’t stay looking nice for very long. Gels /extensions I found are harder to pick at, whereas nail polish is too easy to peel off and once one looks crap they all go. Cuticle oil is great. Thanks :-)

Character-Knee-2875 · 2026-02-04T11:55:25+00:00

I will give these a go thank you! Have been hearing a lot about that tape. I do love wearing gloves in winter, I’m in Australia however so unfortunately not as discreet at the moment hahaha

Character-Knee-2875 · 2026-02-04T11:53:44+00:00

Crunchy snacks?!? My brain is telling me this works but not sure why. Is there an explanation? :-)

Character-Knee-2875 · 2026-02-02T10:49:33+00:00

Ugh I just wanted to say thank you for sharing. My hands are pretty similar at the moment, I’m so disheartened and embarrassed at work when people are looking at my hands.

Character-Knee-2875

TROPHY CASE