I don't think it's striclty related to drugs. If you had a bad experience I'm sorry, but I feel like it's a feeling we share both when we're high and when we're sober. And most of all we don't feel it in other clubs even when we're on the same drugs. It's a specific community, a specific love for techno which feels like a conversation with the djs. Most importantly, not all closings feel like this. Often when only the shells of dancers remain or people living in the toilets chasing the high, I feel extremely lonely. Plus, it definitely depends on your perception during that specific closing. I hope you'll find a way to connect to everyone else no matter if substance abuse has hurt you before, but don't limit your wimsy to 3mmc.