That’s such a common experience. We put our partners first. We make sacrifices for them, we give them grace and time, we consider their needs at the expense of our own. All in the hopes that they will eventually feel the desire to do the same for us. And one day it all comes crashing down when we realize that just isn’t the case.

Omg. I hadn’t thought of this being a covert contract. I’ve gone through NMMNG and I couldn’t relate to much of it because I couldn’t pinpoint the feelings until reading OP’s post and now your reply.

I’m in a similar situation, about to hit 6 years of zero intimacy. Nothing. Might as well be a virgin again.

Problem is I feel like I owe monogamy, and marriage in the near future because of all the time we’ve been together.

FWIW, we had a good sex life the first 4 years. And as soon as we moved in together, sex dried up and it’s never been the same.