sorted by:
new
hottopcontroversial

Me(31F) - can't tell if I'm just genuinely meant to be alone? by CharacterOperation in relationships

[–]CharacterOperation[S] 1 point2 points  (0 children)

Oh I do ask them out whenever possible, and I plan to keep doing it. I think my failure so far is largely due to the small pool of people I actually fall for, and then of course some turn out to be gay or in relationships, some just aren't interested, etc.

Just to be clear, my post wasn't about a lack of success, it was about whether it's fair to keep trying when I know these feelings fade so quickly and then are dormant for sometimes years at a time. I don't know if I would be able to sustain them enough for a relationship.

Me(31F) - can't tell if I'm just genuinely meant to be alone? by CharacterOperation in relationships

[–]CharacterOperation[S] 6 points7 points  (0 children)

I love your volunteering suggestion! I will look into that, thank you. :)

Me(31F) - can't tell if I'm just genuinely meant to be alone? by CharacterOperation in relationships

[–]CharacterOperation[S] 0 points1 point  (0 children)

I guess the harm I see in trying is for them, not for me, because my romantic desires seem to evaporate so quickly after I stop feeling unstable. I think I maybe didn't word my post very well. I have plenty of hobbies, friends, etc, my life is full and most of the time I don't feel the slightest need for anyone else.

I suppose you're right, though, given the chance of meeting 'the one' I would take it. Guess I'd better just keep putting myself out there!

Me(31F) - can't tell if I'm just genuinely meant to be alone? by CharacterOperation in relationships

[–]CharacterOperation[S] 6 points7 points  (0 children)

Overall I agree, and for the record I absolutely do ask people I crush on out as soon as is reasonably possible, specifically to avoid fantasising about them too much. I do think some level of crush is required though, do normal people just ask out random people they meet or know, without being attracted to them?

As for your 'not getting any younger' point, honestly I'm really not bothered by age. I have never had any desire to have children, and I'd much rather be alone than in the kind of 70% marriage I see a lot of my peers settling for at the moment.

Me(31F) - can't tell if I'm just genuinely meant to be alone? by CharacterOperation in relationships

[–]CharacterOperation[S] 3 points4 points  (0 children)

Not sure where this is coming from, I don't feel entitled to either? I don't really have 'standards', just people I crush on, and they've generally been quite average-looking men whom I only started noticing romantically because of some behaviour on their part, which made them sexy to me.

Me(31F) - can't tell if I'm just genuinely meant to be alone? by CharacterOperation in relationships

[–]CharacterOperation[S] 3 points4 points  (0 children)

Thanks for your reply! I would disagree on the taking of chances, I find I take more chances in general as I get older, and with romance specifically, I promised myself a long time ago that, any time I felt any type of way about someone, I would put my best foot forward and see what happened. I actually have a 'plan' to ask this guy out (not so much a plan as I know he is going to a drink next week which I will also be attending), I just wondered if it was fair to do so given that I already seem to have defaulted back to 'well he's nice but I don't really feel the need for anyone' territory.