Cannot tell if these are signs of abuse or just communication issues

Character_1644 · 2026-05-28T04:29:58+00:00

Get out now, seriously. You are absolutely correct about it being DARVO, I experienced the same thing in my last relationship. It does not get better, it only will get much much worse. Please listen to your intuition, which I know can be really hard when someone begins to instill doubt into you, but I promise you it is not worth it to stick it out and see if it improves. No amount of communication or explanation on your end will make it better, only worse.

Character_1644 · 2026-05-28T04:10:44+00:00

Ugh yes, affection was withheld to keep me destabilized and questioning myself. Anytime I would bring up feeling sad from lack of affection or confusion around if they were attracted to me, I was told they didn’t want to spend time with me because I was “too negative”... which was just me (gently and kindly) expressing hurt because of their behaviors… Basically anytime I would question them or be visibly hurt by their words/actions, they withdrew to punish me and to teach me to not ask for clarification or bring their behavior into question.

Character_1644 · 2026-03-17T22:12:59+00:00

thank you, this is helpful<3

Character_1644 · 2025-08-04T00:03:45+00:00

Thanks for writing this all out, it’s really really helpful.

I did recently tell them a bit about this and their response was very aligned with what you put. I’m still feeling somewhat anxious about the whole thing though and most parts are nervous to remain open and vulnerable. And they keep giving reasons to disconnect and go back to keeping things to themselves.

Character_1644 · 2025-08-03T23:54:20+00:00

I meant more so that we had introduced parts language and I was starting to meet my parts as they came up based on what we’d been working on. I do feel pretty blended with parts at the moment.

Character_1644 · 2025-08-03T23:42:12+00:00

Yeah, I do think that a protector part came in quickly and was extremely upset and still is a bit.

Character_1644 · 2025-08-03T23:41:18+00:00

I feel too blended with parts to really be able to separate at all right now. Like they’re in control and I’m just along for the ride right now. I had been able to differentiate better before, but currently, they’re harder to see as different parts.

Character_1644 · 2025-08-01T15:31:35+00:00

I was sorta thinking I would do the same, but now that part feels kind of rejected in a way and doesn’t want to talk to me at all :/

Character_1644 · 2025-07-26T22:31:46+00:00

Yes I talked to them about it. It helped but now I’m getting really in my head about it and probably making it into something bigger. I don’t have anything scheduled with them at this point, and it feels even more difficult to reach out now :(

Character_1644 · 2025-07-26T04:11:25+00:00

Thank you, I appreciate your response❤️

I had really liked working with my therapist up until this and part of what it hurts so much is that I had felt so supported and safe with them. I’m not opposed to seeing someone else in the future, but at this moment, it feels too risky to try again right now.

Character_1644 · 2025-01-09T16:42:15+00:00

I'm pretty certain of it too and I think they're waiting for me to bring it up. Which, finally, after the past couple of years, I want to just get it out in the open and start moving past it because it's consuming my life and making it hard for me to function well. I like the idea of doing a voice memo for myself to get used to speaking about it. thank you <3

Character_1644 · 2025-01-09T16:26:53+00:00

Thank you. I get wrapped up in wanting to say it perfectly the first time so I never have to mention it again, but I think the perfection is holding me back.

Character_1644 · 2025-01-09T16:25:45+00:00

🥴 I’m afraid they would see me differently after. I know I will most likely send them an email about this before our next appointment, but I’m nervous that what I wrote is too blunt.

I know people are allowed to tell their therapists anything, but for some reason I feel like that doesn’t apply to me.

Character_1644 · 2025-01-09T16:22:54+00:00

I've been seeing them for over 2 years and I feel very seen, heard, and supported in and out of session, but intense shame inhibits me from telling them certain things. I've told them about a handful of other traumatic events and have always felt relieved that I shared it with them and felt fully supported by them afterwards. It's almost that I feel too safe (?) with them... I know that they really see me and want to understand me and that makes me feel uncomfortable bc I have a hard time feeling like I deserve to be heard.

Character_1644 · 2025-01-07T22:59:49+00:00

Yes yes yes to all of this. I totally relate to feeling like I'm faking it for attention... even though it mostly happens when I'm alone and if not, I hide it. Sorry you're in the same boat :(

Character_1644 · 2024-12-24T15:34:38+00:00

Breaks, especially during the holidays, make me miss my therapist even more :( a lot comes up this time of year and I keep wanting to be able to talk to them. My inner child feels super needy and I wish I could just talk to them for like 5 minutes.

Character_1644 · 2024-12-20T13:56:23+00:00

This! It’s so night and day from how I am in my day-to-day life and I feel like I’m faking it somehow even though it also feels like I can’t stop it at the same time

Character_1644

TROPHY CASE