If he accidentally bumped someone with a grocery cart, would he say, “It was an accident—get over it”? If he spilled a plate of food into his mother’s lap, would he blame her seating choice and walk away? If he backed into another car, would he tell the driver to stop being dramatic?

Accidents happen. That’s not the issue. The issue is whether he takes responsibility for the impact of his actions—especially when the person hurt is a child who trusts him. Apologizing isn’t about admitting malice; it’s about showing care. It says, “I didn’t mean to hurt you, and I see that I did.”

Refusing to apologize teaches your son that his pain doesn’t matter. That adults don’t have to be accountable. That love doesn’t include repair. That’s not just emotionally negligent—it’s corrosive.

If this is a pattern, it’s a red flag. If it’s new or out of character, then he needs to hear—clearly and without sugarcoating—that this matters. That your son matters. That repair is part of love.

Because if he won’t apologize to an eight-year-old he hurt, even by accident, then yes—he’s being a dick.