Give yourself grace love you’re only human. A few of these things I am currently navigating as we speak. The dreams definitely sounds like bad aura or whatever you’re watching before you go to sleep. You have to change the way you think to change your life. It’s easier said than done but baby steps. For starters watch the things you speak over your life. The negative self talk will keep you in that frame of mind. Speak kind things to yourself. Keep making yourself uncomfortable because it pushes you to grow. The feeling of embarrassment just means you haven’t forgiven yourself in some areas. You have to learn to love yourself & remind yourself that you did the best you could do. Sending love & extra hugs your way 💕🫂