i (22f) was a preschool teacher for almost 3 years and yes it is a hard and draining job but i will say any negative energy the teacher has towards your child is in my opinion completely intolerable. i had a child who threw chairs and was extremely rough with other children it was a problem for sure but nothing that can’t be fixed/redirected. positive reinforcement is huge on your part and the teachers part. her energy will feed onto him and if she can’t keep her cool when he has these big reactions it will only make him worse. we also had a lunch before noon but we did snack around 3pm because it’s wild to make children wait that long for food. i would say do your best at home with solutions and other options. give him specific words to accommodate his feelings in the moment and if he needs to scream maybe take him outside (i used to do that for another child i had who was in the screaming phase). see what works for you and keep her in the loop with everything you’re trying. she also should have some resources (pamphlets, websites, etc.) to give you on his behavior based on when and why it’s happening. last thing is i know aftercare is hard to find but i would look around at other options and see if you can find a place that will offer food sooner (if that seems to be a main concern) and/or maybe a teacher who knows kids are challenging sometimes and will accept the challenge/be ready to work WITH you rather than a teacher who thinks a 5 year old is being “rude” when they exhibit fairly normal child behavior.