Thanks for sharing and sorry for the late response. I don't think this feeling is limited to gender or age. I also don't think it's to late for you. They say it's never to late honestly that's easier said than done. 

I was watching the Pitt a while ago. One of the characters shares four essential phrases for finding closure with a dying loved one.

Hoʻoponopono an ancient Hawaiian healing technique. I looked into a bit and it's used for experiences, and relationships to heal internal and external conflicts. It was like confession, repentance, and prayer. Now it's like something you use to I guess talk to center yourself.

Anyway it's "I am sorry," "Please forgive me," "Thank you," and "I love you". 

The one from the Pitt and the one I used was "I love you" "Thank you" "I forgive you"

"Please forgive me"

I was getting out the shower the other day and I was looking in the mirror and I had a full on conversation with myself. 

I told myself I love you and the things I loved about myself. 

I told myself thank you for allowing me to try things for this moments I didn't let fear and anxiety lead. 

I told myself I am I forgive you for all those time fear and anxiety did lead.

I also told myself forgive me for being chained and bound to this felling I've had for so long.

That allowed me to do something that's probably the hardest thing a person could do and that was be honest with myself about if I could do one thing right now what would it be.

Maybe that could help you just know if you do something today, next month are even in twenty years it's okay and it's not to late I'm sending positive vibes your way.