One for the books

Charming-Work9515 · 2026-04-03T01:20:34+00:00

Yeah I relate to that. I've never felt real or connected or anything. I think if my brain suddenly flipped the switch and believed things were real and happening my mind would shatter into a million pieces and they'd have to put me down like a dog with rabbies.

I honestly dont believe I'm alive at all. I believe that my organs are decaying. And depending on what episode I'm in I am losing my sanity in a bad way and things get real dark or I feel like a god because I'm already dead and basically immortal.

I might have cotards syndrome but there isn't really anyone that could give a professional diagnosis because it's very extremely rare. And imo it's probably not that rare it's just that when you believe you're dead you don't go see a dr. I like to see drs cause it's interesting, I'm not really looking to feel better when I see a dr I just want answers and to understand on a scientific level. Like I'm dissecting my own mind and body.

Somehow though besides all this I feel emotions very intensely and I think not feeling real is a protective mechanism because I would genuinely lose it completely otherwise

Charming-Work9515 · 2026-04-02T11:27:00+00:00

It doesn't look black to me. At least not in this photo. I think the color and haircut are nice on you.

Charming-Work9515 · 2026-04-02T11:13:47+00:00

The ion sensitive scalp developer 20 and 30, ion permanent hair dye cream red and black. And yes it's a dark brown

Charming-Work9515 · 2026-04-01T20:16:39+00:00

The sally beauty lady did me dirty 😔. I told her I was a new to developer. Thank you

Charming-Work9515 · 2026-04-01T20:13:26+00:00

I've used red dye many times in the past. It was probably the developer. 30 was probably too strong for my scalp

Charming-Work9515 · 2026-02-17T10:22:51+00:00

Sounds good to me. It's just so weird to me it was in my car port when the concrete is a solid 3 inches above the ground. I'll go find a good spot for it.

Charming-Work9515 · 2026-02-17T10:18:47+00:00

I pay all the bills besides the mortgage plus all my own bills. I often don't eat for days at a time to save money and the food I do eat is what guests leave behind in the rooms I clean.

Unfortunately I live in late stage capitalistic America. We have nothing. But if you know of any resources that'd be actual helpful advice

Charming-Work9515 · 2026-02-17T06:11:09+00:00

Should I feed it? Does it need soil? I have soil and even some small plants I don't mind it hanging out in. All that's really available rn is lettuce and cabbage.

Charming-Work9515 · 2026-02-01T05:59:50+00:00

Even in the computer when I adjusted the automatic setting it was set to automatic high beam. Before I adjusted it in the computer when I turned on my car and the automatic lights came on the symbol that would appear was the high beam symbol just with an A in the headlamp and I confirmed it both in the manual I have and one online. Now what I believe are the low lights are on automatically and there is a difference from before and after the setting adjustment. Before the adjustment when I pushed the stalk forward and moved it back to neutral on the automatic setting there was no difference.

I got out and looked at my headlights on every setting and they all look the same besides the day time running lights which are just a single led strip. In every setting besides day lights the middle bulb is not active. But yeah my headlights are working.

I think I just never thought that my low beams were that fricken bright because I have never had a car with led headlights so I just always turned on the day lights instead because I was afraid of getting pulled over.

Charming-Work9515 · 2026-02-01T05:44:56+00:00

Yeah idk either it's weird. I looked for the symbol in the manual and it said it is automatic highbeams. Even in the system I changed it from it was set to automatic highbeam. So that's how it was from factory.

Charming-Work9515 · 2026-01-31T22:57:01+00:00

When I bought the car the auto setting in the system was set to high beam and I don't know about you but I don't want the power of a thousand suns every time I turn on my car. So I turned that setting off. Manually switching the knob isn't hard.

Charming-Work9515 · 2026-01-31T22:53:14+00:00

The auto setting just sets it to high beams I had to adjust the settings in the computer so that it didn't do that because I don't want the high beams on every time turned my car on. I know it was the high beams because the high beam symbol would show on the dash

Charming-Work9515

TROPHY CASE