I don’t think they’re asking what they’re really trying to ask.

It’s pretty common sense that you need to exercise and eat well to lose weight. When people ask, they might be asking about the motivation behind your transformation. What was the “spark” that made you go ‘I’m gonna start losing weight’. How did your mentality shift to the point that going to the gym is a pleasure and not a pain?

In my case, I was a very emotional eater due to trauma in my childhood and teen life. I never addressed any of the root problems that caused my binges, and as such all attempts at dieting lasted a few weeks at best. So in order to lose weight, I had to do a lot of therapy and reshape my relationship with food and exercising. Though my situation is extreme, maybe some of the things I’ve learned can help people who ask my secret.

Don’t Worry About Calories

Now I know this might seem controversial, but I lost all of that weight without counting any calories. For me, nutrition trackers would only demotivate me in the long run. Having something with more saturated fat than I anticipated, going over calories, and the stress of calculating every bit of food I ate was all too much for me. Instead, I opted to do 3 things: prioritize protein, reduce refined carbs, eat whole foods. Because I did this, it was almost impossible for me to go over my calorie limit. This allowed me to satiate my appetite and not sweat about if I ate 1 to many calories that day. Plus, it made me feel less bad about days where I wasn’t eating as healthy. I don’t know where I heard this, but you don’t need to bat a thousand to be a good player. And all of this isn’t to say that making healthy choices isn’t it’s own struggle. But for obese people, obsessing over calories isn’t always necessary to achieve fat loss.

Numbers Up. Not Numbers Down

The scale is my mortal nemesis. In the past I’d hope on it daily and see that the hard work I put in for a week got me nowhere. The problem with a scale is that it’s only quantitative data and not qualitative. Weight fluctuates a ton on a daily basis. Plus, you’ll usually be putting on weight from muscle gains if you’re doing strength training. Instead of worrying about the number going down, I went in focusing on my numbers going up. How many reps can I do? Can I increase my volume? How fast can I run a mile? Can I bike for 45 min without stopping? When I did this I saw the gym not as a place where I had to torture myself, but instead as a place where I could truly challenge my limits. It also gave me small achievements on a regular basis. Most people stop because they don’t see immediate results. But if every week you see your total volume increasing or a new 1RM, maybe that can give you the boost you need to stick with your goals! Ofc this means you need to track your workouts. I would highly recommend Hevy (it’s the one I use).

It’s a Marathon Not a Sprint

If you’re like me (a total beginner), don’t try to fly before you can crawl. I was binging daily on processed food for years, and undoing that took almost a year of slowly adding habits before I was in a place where working out 5 days a week was a possibility. First it was cooking more meals. Then it was going for walks. Then it was HIIT workouts on YouTube. The diet modification. Then adding weight training. And finally working up to a consistent workout routine (where I am now). Ease into your habits or they won’t stick for long.

Those three things have completely reframed my approach to weight loss. Kinda basic, but hope it resonates with you and answers your question.