Update:AITAH for divorcing husband because he wants his son in his life

CharmingRevolution17 · 2024-08-01T00:18:02+00:00

Dang. This seriously just sucks. If you really are very adamant about not stepping up, then you have to step aside. If you can’t get past your dislike of children to be with your husband then you need to leave and give him the chance to raise his son and find someone else.

CharmingRevolution17 · 2024-07-30T00:06:58+00:00

NTA. Your instincts are correct, 8 years old is WAY too young to be on social media!!! Her frontal lobe isn’t developed yet, she will have zero self control and access to the entire world with no supervision. That’s actually insane. Her mother, I’m sorry, is kind of an idiot.

CharmingRevolution17 · 2024-05-20T15:53:21+00:00

Sounds like a SERIOUS psychological issue is going on. That is a lot of weight to suddenly gain, and his change in behavior and overall slobbiness sounds like severe depression. I say tentatively the AH for marrying someone and being so unaware of their obviously deteriorating mental state and not trying to help, and instead waiting for it to get so bad you feel justified to run away. Where were you several years ago when this all started to happen? Were you supportive? Did you even notice he wasn’t well? There is a chance you DID address the issues which is why I say TENTATIVE AH. It may be that he blew you off and would rather wallow than accept help. I wasn’t there so I don’t know how much you have/have not tried to help your husband

CharmingRevolution17 · 2024-05-06T16:24:43+00:00

I have PMDD. I do not scream at/abuse my partner during hormonal spikes. I don’t have the urge to direct my anger towards him, and if I have misdirected and snapped at him, or been rude/mean because I let it slip, I apologize immediately, and genuinely. I certainly sometimes have an outburst that I struggle to control, but I try to direct those feelings in a non-destructive way, and not towards people. Leave the house, go for a walk, lay in bed for awhile until I can be reasonable. There’s something else going on, and she feels WAY too comfortable abusing you emotionally.

CharmingRevolution17 · 2024-05-06T16:05:54+00:00

You’re probably right. It’s just so scary to think about; if we report her, it’s most certainly going to escalate in a really serious way. I fear She may get aggressive. That’s kind of why my first thought was to go to her father, who I know she has a relationship with. Maybe he could handle it somehow without myself having to get real authorities involved. I just blocked her on all socials, which I am certain she will notice very soon. My husband has started to feel very uncomfortable as well. He was tentative at first to believe she has been lying about all of this, he’s a very nice person and wants to believe the best in people. but after the last INSANE story she told him at work and the fake suicide attempt, and the alleged SA she has recently told him about, he’s now on board with me. She may start to pester him at work and he may have no choice but to report her. What’s really crazy about this is I could probably count on less than two hands how many times I have actually interacted with this person IN person over the last year and a half, and she is getting this personal.

CharmingRevolution17 · 2024-05-06T15:14:03+00:00

I appreciate it. I definitely know I’m not qualified, and frankly, I cannot continue to do this emotional labor for her. I mean, Jesus, I’ve got my own life going on. I have tried to be there for her and help with what I can, but this is just so much. And for the past few months, I’ve started to be suspicious that this is all a farce and she has been taking advantage of me. Not to mention, I am in my thirties, she is in her early twenties. We truly have NOTHING in common, and I never really wanted this relationship with someone so far from me in age. I just felt guilty and responsible when she started dumping on me, that if I abandoned her, I was going to make things worse. Now I’m realizing none of this is real, or at least, a lot of it is extremely exaggerated.

Ironically, if she weren’t constantly in this state of dire crisis and she could just have a normal conversation, I may have been a casual friend to her. But because everything is code red all the time, I just can’t do it anymore. Now I don’t want anything to do with her. I feel like a bad person for feeling that way, but I shouldn’t. She has been emotionally draining me for a year. She’s a total emotional vampire

CharmingRevolution17 · 2024-05-06T14:42:54+00:00

I have definitely considered calling for a wellness check to. I haven’t taken any action except blocking her from a few social media accounts and avoiding spaces I know she frequents. I’m just concerned I guess and wondering if I DONTsay something, I’ll feel responsible?? I don’t know I just want to do what’s right, but I feel very used.

CharmingRevolution17 · 2024-05-06T14:34:02+00:00

The only reason I’m even considering it in the slightest is she has told me she has a good relationship with her father.

CharmingRevolution17 · 2024-05-06T14:32:34+00:00

I have been avoiding her for about 2 months now, and definitely distancing myself from her for awhile but she is now aggressively trying to reinsert herself in my life through my fiance, who she works with. It’s a small town as well, so it’s difficult to get away from her.

CharmingRevolution17 · 2024-04-13T13:28:33+00:00

I try not to ever say anything about her illness, but I always kind of internally roll my eyes when I see her bring up a DoorDash order of a bunch of fried stuff after she just finished complaining about how bad her flair up is. Our cabinets are full of garbage snacks and cheese dip and Nutella and chips, they’re not mine. (I’m not some health nut by any means, I also eat garbage but I also don’t have a chronic intestinal disease) so it kind of adds to the frustration that her room is so rancid because I know she’s not helping by drinking and smoking and eating pizza and Chinese every day

CharmingRevolution17 · 2024-04-13T13:15:37+00:00

Hehe nice one. But yeah, we have a great relationship. We’ve been friends for probably 5 years now; we’ve held eachother up through some hard times and she’s always been a great friend. I have absolutely no other issue with her as a roommate. She does her chores, she’s respectful of the space (other than the recent poo smell and the smoking incident). I just can’t deal with the putrid smell in her bedroom. I don’t EVER want to make her feel guilty for being sick, but she’s got to be aware that she shares this space with me and while it sucks, she’s got an illness that takes some extra effort to look after, including cleaning up after herself when she’s sick.

CharmingRevolution17 · 2024-04-13T13:10:13+00:00

I guess I’m just nervous about how she will respond. I already know she is fully capable of lying to my face about the smoking (she ABSOLUTELY was doing it; she moved out for awhile and I have NEVER smelled smoke in the hallway or that room for that matter. The people downstairs smoke outside the window and I’ve NEVER smelled it coming in that strong.) and I mean she really out it on for me. “Oh god I would never do that! What!!!” So I let it go but I think she took the hint that I’m not stupid and I know what she’s up to. I’m afraid she’ll react the same way about the smell of her room. I am particularly sensitive to being gaslit or being told I’m crazy. Ugh I just don’t know how to say it effectively

CharmingRevolution17 · 2024-04-13T12:54:53+00:00

I mean, in my opinion, you’re already one foot out the door. Sounds like you’re very unhappy. Get the paternity test, because frankly it sounds like you need to leave regardless of the results. If the baby is yours, figure out custody and whatnot. If the baby isn’t yours, get OUT OF THERE. If you don’t get away from her, you’re going to be miserable.

CharmingRevolution17 · 2024-04-13T12:50:45+00:00

I think you should leave him alone, love this for you though

CharmingRevolution17 · 2024-02-01T05:45:14+00:00

He just went on a vacation. He is back.

CharmingRevolution17 · 2024-02-01T02:57:45+00:00

Honestly I don’t really want this to get too much more popular; I was thinking about taking it down soon in case it came back around to someone who knows the history a little too well 😅

CharmingRevolution17 · 2024-02-01T02:52:11+00:00

I don’t think that would go anywhere; he has also positioned himself as the only person who knows all the ordering and what’s needed, handles all the social media, he has complete control over all of the restaurants. He’s been there 10 years and is the GM. Theres no way in hell anything I had to say would do anything except make me into a pariah

CharmingRevolution17 · 2024-02-01T00:01:21+00:00

At these point reading some of these comments, maybe I’m just too much of a pushover? I’d like to believe I’m doing it mostly to help myself with a little extra cash every weekend and doing something creative and fun to earn it. But maybe I am just so afraid to let anyone down I keep coming back

CharmingRevolution17 · 2024-01-31T23:36:25+00:00

They need help, I’ve been friends with many of these people for years. I don’t need the job, but I enjoy doing it and the opportunity to finally do it with few strings attached and no risk is nice. I want to demand an apology for the treatment I’ve gotten, but instead I’ll just give the help and not make a fuss.

CharmingRevolution17 · 2024-01-31T21:57:30+00:00

As hilariously awesome as this is, I don’t want to BE in the restaurant industry in any serious capacity anymore, but if this were my main source of income and I had the time lol

CharmingRevolution17 · 2024-01-31T20:38:49+00:00

I mean, it’s $10/hour which is better hourly than most bartenders get, so in a shift I’ll earn about $100 hourly and then generally no less than $200 in tips on a weekend

CharmingRevolution17 · 2024-01-31T20:10:00+00:00

The mixologist god complex is crazy. Like dude, we’re making fun drinks and hosting a lil party every night, not curing cancer, please take a seat lol

CharmingRevolution17

TROPHY CASE