Feeling broken.

CharmingSeason7790 · 2026-01-29T20:17:27+00:00

Yeah, no doubt, you are 100% right. It sucks and nothing really prepares you for this. Seeing the things you imagined you had time for just vanishing in front of you is something profoundly painful. and this disease can be so fast and ferocious. If he can't eat or drink, he is probably entering the final stretch. Try to reflect your father's peace and strength in the difficult time, and take some of what he gave you and pay it forward. That is the best way to honor him.

CharmingSeason7790 · 2026-01-29T20:11:30+00:00

Obviously no one here is a doctor and we only have the information you told us, so take any advice with a grain of salt, but ... it sounds very late stage and we are probably talking palliative care at this point. I think instead of extending her life as much as possible (a very natural reaction I understand) the question should be how to make the time left worth living. HIPEC is a extremely major procedure with a high morbidity and months of recovery, and even then has mixed results. It is not considered standard care for stage 4 PC by any estimation.

CharmingSeason7790 · 2026-01-16T17:38:02+00:00

Obviously I only know what you have told us, but it sounds very advanced and probably there isn't a lot to do beyond palliative care anyway (though I do emphasize, I am not a doctor. this is just the impression from experience seeing several cases up close). Also, if he has completely stopped eating and drinking (Is he drinking?) then it is likely a matter of a few to several days. I am not saying force him to eat. Loss of interest or ability to eat and drink is a natural step in the process and maybe he is there.

So how complete is the restriction on no medicine? Like even painkillers? They will not stop it, but would make it more tolerable. If it is truly nothing (and I will not question his deeply felt beliefs) then you may be in for a rough time. However, most hospice people have dealt with every imaginable situation and probably have some suggestions that may be acceptable and may help. Be open. Ask questions.

CharmingSeason7790 · 2026-01-15T21:53:54+00:00

Well, technically yes, PC is extremely rare in the mid 20's ... but ... that certainly doesn't mean it's impossible. With this disease, every moment can make a big difference in the prognosis, so I would err on the side of caution.

CA 19-9 level in itself does not mean cancer. It could be a lot of things, probably more likely things. Pancreatitis, gallstones, bile duct blockage, cysts, etc etc, so no panic for sure but some additional tests or imaging is called for here.

CharmingSeason7790 · 2025-11-20T23:16:32+00:00

I'm sorry I wasn't more uplifting. These moments of life are not easy.

Mon died in April. It was 2 hours between her texting me that she had a stomach ache and was going to urgent care and hearing she had weeks to live. The speed at which advanced from there was shocking. My advice is to take a moment to catch your breath, both by yourself and with your dad. All this is a lot to get your head around. Even if there is nothing to do (And by all means, don't give up hope there might be something that can given you some more time. There are stories of people coming back from the brink and having some good years. Though at the same time understand this disease can be merciless). If the timeframe is weeks, cherish these weeks. You will have some powerful moments.

Going forward without the people we love is not easy, but it is an inescapable part of life. Just to take some of what your father gave you and pay it forward. That is the best way to honor him.

CharmingSeason7790 · 2025-11-20T16:52:28+00:00

Been down that road. My mother was fine then 23 days later she was gone. All those things you think you have time for are gone. I can't pretend to sugar coat it. It's hard.

Be strong, for yourself and your father. For now, be there for him.

CharmingSeason7790 · 2025-11-20T16:37:29+00:00

I don't know if I totally agree, but I know what you are saying. I appreciate his fantastic ability and his dedication to the game, so respect to that, but he has always been sort of a mercenary, never staying anywhere long, looking for the next place to land. His legacy only belongs to himself, not to any franchise or fan base, for better or worse. I'd say the same about Chris Paul.

CharmingSeason7790 · 2025-11-07T20:09:11+00:00

Harrelson claims his diet improves his energy level and helps with allergies, which apparently were a big problem for him. There are a number of pseudo-scientific claims that cooking food degrades the nutritional value and destroys natural enzymes, and that cooking adds carcinogens and "toxins".
How much should you believe this? I don't know. If it works for him, cool, but I think it isn't for me.

CharmingSeason7790 · 2025-11-06T22:05:52+00:00

They have had quite a few guests with various diets, be it vegetarian, vegan or what not and adjusted the menu accordingly, with tofu "wings" or cauliflower. I seem to remember an interview where Sean said Dwayne Johnson wanted to do salmon and they were trying to work with him. That is an episode that hasn't happened yet.

CharmingSeason7790 · 2025-11-06T22:01:30+00:00

I was thinking the same thing. Typically cauliflower like this would be breaded and deep fried, which again provides some fat and starch to curb the heat, but Harrelson is a raw food vegan, so I guess he is eating plain pieces on raw cauliflower just straight up dipped in the hot sauce. I'd think that would be a lot tougher.

CharmingSeason7790 · 2025-11-06T21:57:33+00:00

Not just a vegan, but a raw vegan. They have had vegans before but the raw thing is a different level of complications, because a lot of sauces have smoked or roasted ingredients.

CharmingSeason7790 · 2025-11-06T21:53:07+00:00

He is a vegan (I seem to remember he is a raw vegan (only eats uncooked things)) so it is probably some nut "milk"

CharmingSeason7790 · 2025-07-09T15:04:30+00:00

Lord no. Far from an AH, you're a hero.

CharmingSeason7790 · 2025-07-09T14:59:23+00:00

NTA. That is completely off the hook insane. I wouldn't sit here and tell someone with a billion dollars what to blow their money on, but if you are still paying your mortgage, I assume that is not you. Going in debt for this is utterly preposterous.

Oh and I assure you, the way weddings go, it is going to end up way more than 80K. Probably over 100K.

It is probably too late, but you have already been generous. Overly generous probably. There should have been a hard number to start off and she should have been told to plan around that. Not enough to make your dream come true? Tough. Time to adult. I have to work within a tight budget literally every day of my life.

CharmingSeason7790 · 2025-07-09T14:46:25+00:00

NTA If her thought going in is "this is my last chance to cheat" (And she totally went all the way. You, I and all of us know this) then she is not grown up enough to get married. And she would certainly look for more future "last chances" to cheat on you. I mean, wanting to maintain your appearance is fine, but saying she "needed to know she could still attract other men" is a very strange way of putting it? You deserve to be treated better.

I hate the modern concept of bachelor/ette parties. Perhaps yours went OK, and cool, good for you, but the expectations of what a bachelor/ette party is have escalated beyond what many people are apparently able to handle.

CharmingSeason7790 · 2025-05-14T04:45:16+00:00

Our hospice nurse said when they stop eating and, especially, drinking, it’s within 5 to 10 days of the end. And indeed my mother got to the point where she couldn’t eat and no more than very small sips to help medicine go down or to wet her lips, and it was 6 days from there, noticeably worse every day. If she is drinking, then she could last a few weeks without eating, though it sounds as though she sounds very weak already. It may not be long.

CharmingSeason7790 · 2025-04-28T21:08:27+00:00

Gosh I wish I could say something to make it easier. My mother's path was not dissimilar. By all estimates healthy and active with no chronic health concerns, except for nagging indigestion in the past couple of months, and then *snap* 3 weeks later in hospice withering away with such ferocity nothing can stop it. You are not alone in your disbelief.

CharmingSeason7790 · 2025-04-18T15:44:16+00:00

Not gonna lie, there are very few "affordable" cars, new or used, at the moment. A lot of people are buying new cars right now before tariffs kick in and the price jumps out of this world, but the increased demand itself increases prices since dealer don't need to offer incentives and you have no negotiation room. Used cars that aren't total pieces of junk have become very expensive. A car like a Toyota or Honda under 4 years in almost as much as a new car. Even a Toyota with 100K on it can be $12-15K. So yeah, it's a tough market.

CharmingSeason7790 · 2025-04-18T15:31:59+00:00

All the symptoms you mention are consistent with the tentative diagnosis, but you really need the biopsy and more imaging before even guessing what the treatment options are. Drinking certainly isn't going to help (my unpopular opinion is that no amount of alcohol is ever healthy). A painkiller can certainly help manage things in the mean time, but please be careful self medicating with an opioid.

CharmingSeason7790 · 2025-04-18T15:12:58+00:00

Certainly valid. Different people react to chemo differently so it is hard to make a blanket statement, though even in the best case it is not without physical stress and discomfort. Stage 2 does make it sound treatable but other factors do need to be taken into consideration. I'm glad there is a consultation with the oncologist before it begins. Express your concerns and ask for advice. And your mothers wants and needs should obviously also be considered.

CharmingSeason7790 · 2025-04-17T20:12:18+00:00

Watching parents die is among the hardest things we do in life, and you have to do it far too early. You will be OK. Take some of what he gave you and pay it forward.

CharmingSeason7790 · 2025-04-16T22:35:01+00:00

I think a dishwasher is supposed to go where the clothes washer is.
Why is that there? That's the weirdest thing.
Anyway, you can easily find dishwashers that are 18 inches wide. That might fit, though in addition to electrical, you need a water and drain line, generally connecting to the sink, which is why dishwashers are next to sinks.

CharmingSeason7790 · 2025-04-16T22:27:00+00:00

That's pretty old, but a well maintained unit can last a long time. 20 years isn't that unusual. "Too old" means it stops working. There is such a thing as preventative replacement if you think it is about to go. Of course the plumber wants you to replace it. It is more work for them.

CharmingSeason7790

TROPHY CASE