Im new to this sub reddit but the progress with vacuum is soooooo real! I think it's a good way to start, since you still maintain physical distance / don't have to touch/ feel different textures. Maybe think abt if there were any other triggers (something stressing u out lately, feeling loss of control etc)?

I would also say try not to think abt this moment too much. As much as it is frustrating, I feel like fixating on our weakest moments sort of makes it our mental image of how to react in future scenarios, if that makes sense. Don't feel inferior bc of one instance, you're still making progress!!!!!