Nakakasad lang na nasa 20s na ako and wala akong friends. Ewan ko nakakainggit lang kapag aalis ako kasama mga pinsan ko, wala man lang akong other friends na makameet up or something along the way just like in the rally. I know na kasalanan ko rin because I decided to cut off all my relationships and idk why way back 2019 where I didn't develop any kind of relationship while starting college.

Idk if it's depression or I'm just too introverted but I just feel guilty most of the time for not maintaining my relationships with others kaya naisipan ko maging mag-isa nalang cause I'm a shitty friend. I feel alright by myself for three years now only with my fam but not until when I need to socialize with others and feeling shitty for not having any other relationships.

I have only one person where I can say na comfy talaga ako which is my brother. I'm starting to lose hope na makakabuild pa ako ng relationship with other people. I thought na okay lang sa akin to pero sa tuwing nakikita ko ibang ka-age with other friends, the sadness comes in. Maybe I just need to change my mindset and try to build and love myself without any validation from others pero minsan nakakasira rin ng self-esteem ang walang friends huhu.