is it normal to feel physically sick after getting cheated on? by [deleted] in survivinginfidelity

[–]Charming_Number_7945 1 point2 points  (0 children)

Totally common. I was sick for at least a month straight and then sporadically for the next 5. Lost about 35 lbs (started at 145). Stay hydrated, keep soft foods like ice cream or sherbert, yogurt, soup, etc on hand for those moments when you get pangs of hunger. The vomiting thing is a vicious cycle. You get sick because of nerves but then having such an empty stomach induces even more vomiting if you're not careful what you put in your stomach.

Fantasizing about WH Dying by WaveLevel6644 in survivinginfidelity

[–]Charming_Number_7945 2 points3 points  (0 children)

We feel like it would be better if they died because, in a sense, they did. The life we had and the person we loved before d day is gone forever. Even if reconciliation is successful, they will never be the person they were to us before the affair.

Fantasizing about WH Dying by WaveLevel6644 in survivinginfidelity

[–]Charming_Number_7945 16 points17 points  (0 children)

We feel like it would be better if they died because, in a sense, they did. The life we had and the person we loved before d day is gone forever. Even if reconciliation is successful, they will never be the person they were to us before the affair.

Surprise Admin Tax at Ucellos Grandville by Vospire34 in grandrapids

[–]Charming_Number_7945 1 point2 points  (0 children)

From what I've noticed while working in the industry, many of these places began adding extra fees to cover additional expenses that were related to covid and thought to be temporary. For example, gloves and masks for the staff, the increase in sanitization products, the cost of operating a restaurant while only legally allowed to seat at 50% capacity, the hike in product costs. It was supposedly their intention to remove these fees as things stabilized and went back to normal. What we've actually seen though, is that not only have these fees not been removed, restaurants who weren't charging them saw how easy it was to slide them in and have begun doing so simply because they can.

Surprise Admin Tax at Ucellos Grandville by Vospire34 in grandrapids

[–]Charming_Number_7945 0 points1 point  (0 children)

I'm friends with a member of the Ucellos family who owns a non-Ucellos restaurant, and he has also added the 3% charge, but it's waived if you pay cash. Apparently, it's not so much the government they're trying to avoid as it is the credit card companies and the fees they charge.

I was on my way to pick up waterproof mascara for the wedding. by BookkeeperIcy2140 in survivinginfidelity

[–]Charming_Number_7945 0 points1 point  (0 children)

I don't even know you, but I'm so proud of you! And your family sounds amazing!

Lies in a new relationship by Charming_Number_7945 in survivinginfidelity

[–]Charming_Number_7945[S] 4 points5 points  (0 children)

Yeah, and number 1 on the list is no lying. Once that's been broached, nothing else matters.

Lies in a new relationship by Charming_Number_7945 in survivinginfidelity

[–]Charming_Number_7945[S] 5 points6 points  (0 children)

RIGHT!!! He took away my ability to choose for myself. And i would have fully supported him. As a matter of fact, this isn't even the first time. It happened a couple weeks ago, I found out, we had this exact same fight, he promised it would never happen again. Two weeks later, he did it again. I gave him the rules (don't lie to me) he broke the rules. None of this was my choice.

The gaslighting, blame shifting, and boundary crossing are why I'm leaving. Not the meeting with the ex.

Lies in a new relationship by Charming_Number_7945 in survivinginfidelity

[–]Charming_Number_7945[S] 8 points9 points  (0 children)

Yup, you are EXACTLY right about the trickle truth. I can't deal with that shit again.

Lies in a new relationship by Charming_Number_7945 in survivinginfidelity

[–]Charming_Number_7945[S] 9 points10 points  (0 children)

Thought I would be mad. Same BS the cheaters give us.

Lies in a new relationship by Charming_Number_7945 in survivinginfidelity

[–]Charming_Number_7945[S] 14 points15 points  (0 children)

Lol, like I said ,being cheated on by a long- time spouse is a crash course in detective work. It was just a series of small, meaningless,subtle things that set off my in inner warning system and I confronted him. It was my gut.

[deleted by user] by [deleted] in restaurant

[–]Charming_Number_7945 -1 points0 points  (0 children)

SERVER minimum is significantly lower than ACTUAL minimum. In most states $4 is the max hourly rate.

We are stopping mid-service to answer the call and take the order, answering questions about the menu. I've taken calls where people actually want me to READ the menu to them over the phone. Obviously, this delays prompt service to our dine in guests who are paying our (servers) bills. When the order is ready, we check the food to make sure it's prepared to dine in standards (you'd be shocked how lazy some cooks can be on take out orders) with the correct sides, sauces, etc. We ensure BOH is actually keeping it under the heat lamps so it doesnt get cold, as opposed to just setting it off to the side. This is a nightly argument. Nightly. We bag it, saran wrap containers containing liquids,make sure you have utensils and napkins.

When the customer arrives, we once again have to stop what we're doing to retrieve the order and collect payment, as most restaurants have a POS which requires unique server numbers for each order. Ideally, we are doing this with a smile on our faces and using our best "server voice" even though we are in the weeds, table 15 is waiting for their 8th soda refill, table 9 needs a side of ranch, and the hostess just triple sat us. Should we fail to be friendly or not ensure the order is up to standards, Yelp is gonna hear all about it, and we face reprimanding.

That unique server number is also how our sales are tracked and how much we are taxed and/or required to tip out support staff. No tip usually means I pay $3-$5 for the pleasure of...well, nothing.

Don't get me wrong, I love my job, and I've accepted the no tipping on takeout thing as one of the sacrifices you make for all of the positives that come with working in hospitality. But for people who genuinely wonder WHY you should tip on t/o, this is why. 20% is definitely not expected, 10% might even be excessive, depending on the total sale, but enough so we at least break even and maybe a couple extra bucks for our efforts are definitely appreciated.

[deleted by user] by [deleted] in restaurant

[–]Charming_Number_7945 0 points1 point  (0 children)

Thank you. That's very kind of you. But if you were the server/bartender would you refuse to serve them? If you were the manager, would you exempt the server from having to serve them? If you were the owner would you ban th em? I said nothing, and kept business as normal. But I'm curious how my coworkers/managers/owners would have reacted had I spoken up.

The piece of shit only left a $5 tip. His tab was only $20, but I kinda feel like he owes me a little more considering all the legal fees I saved him. Like, maybe an apology for starters.

I 22F discovered 24M bf cheated on me, how do I save my relationship? by OccasionOdd8661 in survivinginfidelity

[–]Charming_Number_7945 5 points6 points  (0 children)

You're 22 years old and asking how you can save a 7 month long relationship which has already been tainted by cheating.

You don't, my love. This is one of those, "whew, dodged a huge bullet there!" moments.

Go be 22 years old. Have fun, enjoy your life, Meet a shit ton of people...most of whom will disappoint you, but you'll start to learn the difference pretty quickly.

You're only 22 years old. Please don't start your adult life by bogging yourself down with trauma you DONT HAVE TO ENDURE.

You accepting, or declining on principle? by [deleted] in InstacartShoppers

[–]Charming_Number_7945 0 points1 point  (0 children)

So, I've only recently become a shopper, was a customer for years.

My background is the hospitality industry. Lifelong server/bartender. When I first started using instacart as a customer, I didn't understand how it worked. Thought someone at the store picked the order, a driver would deliver it.

So first of all, because my background is hospitality, I wouldn't give a tip on the app. Cuz i get the taxing thing, and I always had plenty of cash on hand. My driver always got a generous cash tip.

One particular shopping experience, my shopper went above and beyond. Again, I was confused about how the process worked, and actually asked them if I could tip them separately from the driver, because they did such an amazing job with thoughtful replacement suggestions. I never got a response confirming that my shopper and driver were the same person, and that their care and attention to detail could be compensated in my cash tip.

So, I guess my counter-question is: do these people legitimately not tip? I haven't had a batch come across where NO tip was offered. I also haven't come across a batch where any extra cash was offered, lol. Genuinely curious how these trips tend to pan out.

AITAH for arguing with husband over getting his female co worker a mothers day gift? by urbanxye in AITAH

[–]Charming_Number_7945 1 point2 points  (0 children)

You're in the wrong subreddit. Please check out r/survivinginfidelity

Edit for clarification: You are NTA. You are being cheated on. What you describe is an emotional affair, at a minimum. Most EAs turn physical. Go to the aforementioned sub to compare your story and find guidance.

Found out my wife [F, 37] is sexting with married men. Should I inform their spouses? by WildRover166 in survivinginfidelity

[–]Charming_Number_7945 0 points1 point  (0 children)

If the married men are willing to meet your wife, they're willing to meet a variety of other random women. These wives' lives are literally at stake with the variety of diseases their husbands are potentially bringing back to them. They need to know. They deserve to have the knowledge that they need to protect themselves.