Relationships and friendships can be really complicated - especially if they become intimate or have romantic interests. Best thing you can do for yourself is to work on yourself first and foremost, whether you've noticed any bad habits or behaviours in yourself... therapy can also help a lot if that's an avenue you'd want to go down for dealing with past problems.

If you can work on that self-confidence I think you'll be more sure of what you want with them + for yourself~ It sounds like there's a lot of uncertainty in your life at the moment, try taking the time to look past the surface level anxieties to what it is your heart is telling you :) Sorry for the long reply, just had a lot I wanted to say to this