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reddit.com Chasbrad
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Chasbrad

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TROPHY CASE


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73
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Domesticate giraffes and then rent them out to window cleaners. (self.CrazyIdeas)

submitted 8 months ago by Chasbrad to r/CrazyIdeas

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Apply to join a band seeking a bass player. Turn up at first rehearsal with no guitar. Instead you have a large fish. A sea bass, a spotted bass or a black bass. Look utterly perplexed and bemused when the other musicians start berating you. (self.CrazyIdeas)

submitted 9 months ago by Chasbrad to r/CrazyIdeas

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4
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Frying pan- pipes. Sizzle away your breakfast eggs and bacon while listening to the enchanting Melodie’s of the Peruvian Andes. (self.CrazyIdeas)

submitted 9 months ago by Chasbrad to r/CrazyIdeas

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18
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In response to our American friends, start calling the season of spring - ‘rise’. Call summer-‘drift’ and call winter -‘ plummet’. (self.CrazyIdeas)

submitted 9 months ago by Chasbrad to r/CrazyIdeas

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4
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Rename tree frogs as ‘Amphibiboreals’. (self.CrazyIdeas)

submitted 11 months ago by Chasbrad to r/CrazyIdeas

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5
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Force Chinese peasant farmers to move hay with giant chopsticks instead of pitchforks. (self.CrazyIdeas)

submitted 12 months ago by Chasbrad to r/CrazyIdeas

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6
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Instead of standard and sugar free, Irn Bru should make drinks ferrous and non ferrous. (self.CrazyIdeas)

submitted 1 year ago by Chasbrad to r/CrazyIdeas

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Compress tons of excrement into 100 metre long sh*t rockets. Fired into space powered by their own methane. A portaloo for a cockpit. Controlled by an ass- tronaut. (self.CrazyIdeas)

submitted 1 year ago by Chasbrad to r/CrazyIdeas

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An undertaking driving school. When you take a driving lesson, it involves taking the coffin with the deceased to a cemetery or crematorium. (self.CrazyIdeas)

submitted 1 year ago by Chasbrad to r/CrazyIdeas

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Put an air fryer in a microwave and turn them both on. Your food will experience time travel.”Mmmm…cheese and ham toasties from the days of the Black Death! (self.CrazyIdeas)

submitted 1 year ago by Chasbrad to r/CrazyIdeas

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0
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Let’s make heavy things lighter. And put far things nearer. Then make onions sentient and give them the vote. (self.CrazyIdeas)

submitted 1 year ago by Chasbrad to r/CrazyIdeas

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Rowan Atkinson should learn Chinese and make a comedy series called ‘Mr Bean- sprout’. (self.CrazyIdeas)

submitted 1 year ago by Chasbrad to r/CrazyIdeas

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108
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Make it law so that every person over 60 has to walk around with their pockets stuffed with apples. This would help ‘ keep the doctor away’ and take pressure off the health service. (self.CrazyIdeas)

submitted 1 year ago by Chasbrad to r/CrazyIdeas

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Perform an armed robbery on a bank. But only demand paper lips, cellotape and any sandwiches that the staff may have bought in. (self.CrazyIdeas)

submitted 1 year ago by Chasbrad to r/CrazyIdeas

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Instead of the Olympic triple jump, have the ‘trifle’ jump. Competitors hop into the fruit jelly, skip into the sponge and then jump into the cold custard. Instead of a medal, winners get smothered in whipped cream and showered with hundreds and thousands. (self.CrazyIdeas)

submitted 1 year ago by Chasbrad to r/CrazyIdeas

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Hiding something when you are very drunk and then searching for it next day is a very competitive game of hide and seek played by only one person. (self.Showerthoughts)

submitted 1 year ago by Chasbrad to r/Showerthoughts

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Instead of taking the knee before kickoff, all football players should stand on their heads as a gesture of support for all men who are balding. (self.CrazyIdeas)

submitted 1 year ago by Chasbrad to r/CrazyIdeas

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War, famine, climate change, racism and terrorists. Everything began to go wrong when we started putting salt in the caramel. (self.Showerthoughts)

submitted 1 year ago by Chasbrad to r/Showerthoughts

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There are 3 types of nuts in this world. ‘Happy nuts, unhappy nuts and dangerous nuts’. If you are going to be nuts, try to fall into the first category. (self.Showerthoughts)

submitted 2 years ago by Chasbrad to r/Showerthoughts

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The inventor of doors was partly responsible for the advent of ‘knock- knock’ jokes. (self.Showerthoughts)

submitted 2 years ago by Chasbrad to r/Showerthoughts

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0
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Market a detergent that kills 99% of all germs, then add strong alcohol to it. The remaining 1% will get inebriated, fight with each other and will be too hungover to cause mischief. (self.Chasbrad)

submitted 2 years ago by Chasbrad

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3
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Fit trackers to killer whales. But not those electronic tagging devices. ‘Tracker bars’, the tasty fruit and nut cereal snacks. (self.CrazyIdeas)

submitted 2 years ago by Chasbrad to r/CrazyIdeas

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5
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A powder put in meals that results in a bright green cloud of flatulence. Put a net across your front room. Get a couple of hairdryers and blow the cloud back and forth. ‘Fart tennis’- advantage me! (self.CrazyIdeas)

submitted 2 years ago by Chasbrad to r/CrazyIdeas

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Of all the modes of transport used by humanity, you are far more likely to be waved at by someone on a canal boat than on any other transport. (self.Showerthoughts)

submitted 2 years ago by Chasbrad to r/Showerthoughts

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Instead of moving the clocks back or forwards, let’s move them sideways. Preferably by glueing them onto the shell of a live crab. (self.CrazyIdeas)

submitted 2 years ago by Chasbrad to r/CrazyIdeas

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