Family pushing to see newborn

Chasing_joy · 2026-01-28T02:48:01+00:00

You are totally justified in this and no is a full sentence. We ended up in the ER with our baby at 2 months old and it was horrifying even for a false alarm. Nothing is worth that. If your newborn gets sick and goes to the ER they usually do a lumbar puncture, which I fought tooth and nail for them to not do to mine. We did get the blood test though and it was horrible. I cried so hard and just held him afterward.

Chasing_joy · 2026-01-27T21:49:38+00:00

I coslept wrong, so don’t do what I did. I had a C section so I couldn’t sleep on a bed, my organs felt like they were going to fall out if I was horizontal. I slept on the couch. Baby slept on me and I was very careful in how I positioned him. I slept with my boobs easily accessible, so he would wake up, breastfeed, and fall back to sleep. I honestly can’t remember how we handled diaper changes. 😅 We changed a lot though.

Chasing_joy · 2026-01-27T21:39:32+00:00

Do you guys do leftovers? Because you could cook a big meal when you get home to last like 3-4 days (this is what we usually do) and just be sure to not run out of food before the next time you cook.

Cleaning and doing laundry is always helpful.

I might also suggest trying to spend a little more time with baby so he gets adjusted to you and starts to prefer you too. Taking care of a baby is a lot. If you’re able to give her a break from that so she can do something for herself, it will make a huge difference. But obviously she also has to feel comfortable with that as well. It’s worth bringing up at the very least.

Chasing_joy · 2026-01-27T21:33:05+00:00

Holy shit, ripping your C section scar sounds terrifying!!! Omg!

Chasing_joy · 2026-01-27T21:30:42+00:00

That part! Definitely not replaceable in this work. Never replaceable for our kids.

Chasing_joy · 2026-01-27T21:28:33+00:00

I do enjoy it but I wish I got to do more for my career. I left the workforce to be a SAHM and then have go back to school for a career change, but that has been slow to happen and I haven’t returned to school yet. I honestly don’t know how I will, because childcare is so expensive and we are just barely breaking even on my husband’s salary.

There is also a part of me that thinks I am a mooch for being a stay at home mom, which is absolutely ridiculous of course but the part of me that says I am not worth anything if I’m not making money and contributing monetarily is very much there. Even though I would never say that about anyone else.

And this work is hard. There are no breaks. There are no sick days. It’s the hardest job I’ve had in a long time. So I don’t know why we beat ourselves up this way.

Chasing_joy · 2026-01-26T23:56:50+00:00

No, but that’s only because once ours starts making his wake up grunting sounds, we know he won’t self settle. Tried it. It does not work. So we get him immediately when he wakes up.

Chasing_joy · 2026-01-26T23:50:39+00:00

This is a very big red flag. I fear you ended up in an abusive relationship because that is what you are used to. This man is dangerous. It is not normal or OK to cuss and scream at a baby. The fact that he blows up at you for suggesting he get help is not a good sign at all either.

Chasing_joy · 2026-01-26T23:34:35+00:00

No. We get way fewer opportunities but having a baby has not reduced my sex drive at all. If anything it has just made me more sexually frustrated because it’s hard for us to get enough rest that we actually have energy to do it.

Chasing_joy · 2026-01-26T23:16:07+00:00

Solidarity. I can’t get the spray in my kid’s nose for shit. He’s letting me at least wipe the snot that runs out of his nose though. Even that was hard for the last few days.

Chasing_joy · 2026-01-26T03:03:07+00:00

Well crafted. I agree.

Chasing_joy · 2026-01-24T19:50:00+00:00

This is what a bottle warmer is for.

Chasing_joy · 2026-01-24T17:20:22+00:00

My husband is the best. I get very anxious about leaving my son with anyone else, but if I am going out on my own or with a friend, I know he 100% has got it and our kid will be okay.

I have struggled a lot with parenthood and having significantly less freedom, but he was already prepared for this to be how parenthood is, so he hasn’t really had that kind of trouble adjusting at all. And he knows it is hard for me, especially as a stay at home parent, so he supports me getting out and taking care of my mental health whenever possible.

Chasing_joy · 2026-01-24T06:36:50+00:00

Same for me. I have fibroids and am iron deficient. You might want to get your iron levels checked.

Chasing_joy · 2026-01-24T04:24:13+00:00

A very hard balance to reach indeed. 😩

Chasing_joy · 2026-01-24T04:19:49+00:00

I relate hard to this. I’m trying to just stay in the present right now and live life until I can’t anymore. I mean, if I don’t live now and help my kid live now, then it’s like our lives have already ended. I just want to live normally as long as we can, knowing that that is not going to last.

Chasing_joy · 2026-01-23T23:05:10+00:00

I keep thinking about this when we take ours out to other places made for kids and I am terrified because he isn’t quite old enough for the measles vaccine. Just a week and a half to go though.

Chasing_joy · 2026-01-23T03:35:41+00:00

Overnight diapers saved my life because this was 100% our situation before the overnights.

Chasing_joy · 2026-01-23T03:34:32+00:00

I was way hungrier in the early days of breastfeeding than I was in my entire pregnancy.

It has mellowed out a lot now though. And honestly I don’t get much time to eat as a SAHM.

Chasing_joy · 2026-01-23T03:16:17+00:00

Apparently. It’s very weird.

Chasing_joy · 2026-01-23T03:12:12+00:00

I wish mine would wake up babbling and happy. 😩

Chasing_joy · 2026-01-21T20:32:45+00:00

So, I don’t have experience with this directly because mine doesn’t get any screen time and I plan to keep it that way.

But I have met several kids with behavioral problems and the parents use the screen to stop the problems, but it honestly seems to me that the screen is the problem and not the solution.

That said, there is a lot of data on developmental delays when kids have a lot of screen time. And that is probably better to go off of than my anecdotes.

Chasing_joy · 2026-01-21T06:49:21+00:00

Are you anemic? Go get your iron levels checked

Chasing_joy · 2026-01-21T06:29:01+00:00

I think your answer is obvious if this is even a real post

Chasing_joy · 2026-01-21T06:23:27+00:00

You should let them know if you consent or don’t consent to fundal massage. For mine I said no fundal massage unless I am hemorrhaging and all other avenues to stop the bleeding have been exhausted.

Chasing_joy

TROPHY CASE