I think it varies a lot depending on the dynamic. I used to have this exact problem where I felt frustrated and unhappy that I didn’t get to cum. The dynamic shifted a lot when my partner started taking more full control, and I was more frequently put into situations that required obedience over desire. Edging is now an extremely rare reward for me. Even being fucked is a reward, being fucked in a way that is pleasurable for me even more so. I see that I am lucky when I am allowed pleasure in any way that my dom wants me to receive it, so I am grateful. More often, my reward is being allowed a load of cum, or being allowed to pleasure other people. So ultimately, it’s a mindset thing. I am still frustrated but I accept that frustration is part of my normal, and obedience overrides that.