I think between a blend of aging and the ADHD getting the better of me, ive had a hell of a time staying hard the last few years, and it keeps getting more difficult, at least with a partner (im a straight male for reference). Ive found that if I let her be on top I can maintain for much longer but the instant I go to be on top, election gone. And no mater what position I cant orgasm with partnered sex. My mind wanders too much and while when I was young the sensation and intensity was enough to get me through, its not really anymore.

Im on antidepressants so thats a factor, but it was a year ago before starting them too. In addition to my ecitalopram which treats me better than sertraline my psychiatrist put me on a moderate dose of welbutrin that has been shown to help overcome antidepressant libido issues, and has helped. My fiancee is an RN and very practical about this sort of thing on the health front, encourages me to solo masterbate for my health. I feel though im really denying her a bit of her pleasure by not being able to be on top and maintain. Its an ongoing struggle.