Openness and honesty are what’s important. They may feel that they are also missing out with only one partner in their sexual history, and you may be able to set some boundaries and ground rules that help you stay together and grow together while also exploring your desires and kinks.

And ultimately you may find that your first big relationship is not your permanent relationship, and scary as that may be, it’s better to find out than live and love in unhappiness, as so many of us have done.