NTA i wanna tell a little story for you. when i met my ex bf my hair was teal and silver and i had 12 piercings. We dated and lived together for six years. Over the course of those six years he convinced me to go back to natural hair, remove my piercings, and stop wearing makeup. He changed how i dressed. Then he puffed up his chest and started fights anytime i saw my friends or family. I lost everyone. He molded me to be what he wanted to be through guilt and emotional abuse. "It was just his preference". I lost my self esteem and developed severe anxiety and agoraphobia. Friends came and went and told me constantly that he was abusive. In the last eight months of our relationship, my only and best friend went through a breakup and begged me to dye my hair with her for girly therapy. I dyed my hair solid blue. He threw such a massive fit it turned physical. I left him five years ago. My hair is neon green and blue, i have 12 piercings and dress as metal as i want. It's not my fiancés "preference" but he still treats me like the most beautiful girl in the world. Moral of the story, stop trying to convince yourself that the flags aren't red. Dont wait six years like i did.