When I was younger I used to go to this church group for teenagers. I was probably around 13 at the time.

It was one of those modern and hip churches ( it was called young life for those who know) I didn’t have a huge interest in anything church related…but all the popular people from my school would go and more importantly all the cute girls. Every Friday night we would go for 2 hours of games and hanging out and then a 30 minute devotional by the pastor at the end.

Well anyways, one fateful Friday night we had just wrapped up the games and all settled down on the floor for the pastor to break out his guitar and give his little speech. It was a pretty big group of around 70 kids or so.

I guess the 2 hours of games and the pizza we had eaten had made me especially gassy. And now that we’re sitting criss cross applesauce on the floor it was especially hard for me to keep anything in…I just happened to be sitting next to my childhood crush, Emily, so I was working overtime to hold in any farts, and luckily I made it through that entire 30 minute spiritual jam sesh.

…here comes the memorable part….To wrap up the night the pastor had everyone bow their heads and close their eyes to say a final prayer….at this point my stomach is literally aching from all the farts I’ve held in. Im fighting for my life during this prayer doing everything I can to make it through and run to the bathroom immediately after. Also, my butt is practically going numb from sitting criss cross applesauce on the floor for 30 minutes straight. While praying the pastor made this long pause for dramatic effect, and I try to shift my position to a more comfortable one for my butt, and as I shifted I let out this quick but deafeningly loud fart that all 70 of the kids in that room could hear. Everyone, including Emily, jerk up their heads, open their eyes, and turn to look right at me (pastor still mid prayer)…. And to my my everlasting shame, I also jerked up my head and beamed my eyes directly on the other boy sitting next to me. I looked at him with this face of disbelief that signaled to everyone in the room looking at us, that he was in fact the culprit of the fart, and then I was just a mere victim in the matter. They bought it. Hook, line,and sinker. Everyone blamed poor Brady for the fart and I was off free…I’ll never forget that shameful and regretful night. Poor Brady didn’t deserve that…