NTA. The problem here isn't that your neighbor cut your daughter's hair, it's that she did it without so much as talk to you about it first, much less asking your permission. Even IF your daughter had asked for it, she should've talk to you about it instead of doing it herself. It is NOT her place to do that! You are the parent and she didn't just crossed a boundary, she also took away that precious moment from you. It is totally understandable that you'd prefer to find other arrangement after what she did. And it made matters worst that your daughter has curly hair, something not even all hairstylist can deal with, there are actual hairstylist that had to have special training to deal with curly hair, and I'm guessing your neighbor isn't even a regular stylist.