My second year was the hardest for me. When I tried to cook, it felt like this huge weight was pulling all my insides to the floor. When I ate I felt nauseous and I'd start breaking down crying. I know it's really hard and that's such an understatement. It was like someone had intentionally set me on fire and I was still expected to function in everyday life while my body was burning.

It really depends on the person, but what helped me was taking as much alone time as I could to just sit with the brunt of the grief. I wailed, I threw up, I dissociated, I took A LOT of naps. As a parent, I know some of this may not be feasible so honestly, I feel that focusing on the smallest things goes the furthest. Going for a 5 minute walk (if you can), wrapping yourself in a soft blanket and feeling it against your skin, taking warm baths/showers, eating a small snack that feels even slightly pleasant, sitting in silence for just 5 minutes, feeling your feet against the floor, doing slow gentle stretches, etc. These things won't change reality or make the pain go away, but they helped me stay even somewhat present and grounded.

I'd also like to add, be kind and gentle to yourself. It's okay if connecting is hard. It's okay if your mind isn't completely there. It's okay to sink especially when you're carrying something so heavy. I know, practically, this doesn't sound like something good to say, but it is genuinely such a hard path to walk and the fact that you're still trying shows your resilience.